


Mutual

by GreenGables89



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenGables89/pseuds/GreenGables89
Summary: FULL TLOU 2 SPOILERS. In this story, the final fight doesn't happen. Abby and Ellie leave together and, having nowhere and no one left to go to, they stay together. Their experiences, motives, and choices mirror each other so closely that they can't help but find common ground.OR: at the end of the game, there is only one boat.
Relationships: Ellie/Abby (The Last of Us)
Comments: 137
Kudos: 516





	1. Resignation

**Author's Note:**

> This game made me feel just all the feels. I kind of can't believe how much Abby hate is happening, and the only way I can rationalise it is that, these people just weren't paying attention. Is Abby a bad guy? Of course. But then what does that make Ellie? I think, at the end of their proverbial world(s), there is no better person either of them could be stuck with.

Ellie had finally made it to, what she ultimately believed would be, her final destination. Ever since she learned of a possible lead on Abby's location, she had thought of nothing but her face. She saw her face every time she looked at her own reflection. She saw her face every time she closed her eyes; and, though rare, when she was able to sleep, she dreamt of nothing else. Abby had become an obsession for Ellie. It had gone far beyond revenge; so far beyond that, over the last several weeks, she barely ever thought of Joel. Though his murder was the reason Ellie left her life behind her, reason had long since left her mind. When Dina told her on the farm that she was unwilling to go through this again, Ellie knew she meant it. In that moment, Ellie knew what she would be sacrificing if she walked out the door.

She didn't plan on living past encountering Abby. Whether she was killed on the way there, killed by Abby, or died of malnutrition and exposure afterwards didn't make a difference to her. She had no plans beyond her mission, and no longer had a reason to make any. So powerful was her desire to hurt Abby that she was willing to sacrifice everything to do it. Over the last several months it sometimes felt like the only thing that kept her going. She could barely eat, rarely slept, and was nearly half-dead herself by the time she finally made it to the apparent slave camp in which Abby was imprisoned.

Every muscle in her body ached, her eyes burned, she wasn't completely sure the abdominal wound she suffered wasn't fatal, and a kind of autopilot had taken over her body. By the time she made it to the beach where Abby was tied up, it was all she could do to look for that face. There were a dozen or more people on the beach tied to tall wooden logs sticking out of the sand like spikes. She walked around for a minute or two looking at them all, not really registering any of the horrors she had seen within the prison thus far. She was just looking for that face. Eventually she found it. It took her a few seconds of staring to recognize it, but she did. At first she didn't even move. There was a part of her that never really thought she would find Abby, but would just look for as long as she could. Now that she stood in front of her, she felt unsure of how to proceed. So she just stood there, looking at her.

Abby looked so different to the last time Ellie saw her. She had lost at least 30 pounds, her hair had been cut off, and she had been severely beaten before being tied up. But Ellie had seen that face too many times in her mind to mistake it for anyone else's. After a few minutes of staring at Abby's limp body, she walked closer, until she was standing right in front of her. Just then, she moved a little, and whispered,

"Help me... please..."

Ellie didn't say anything. Then Abby opened her eyes and they looked at each other.

"It's you..."

She sounded half asleep. It took her another few seconds before Ellie could move. The force of this moment hit her like a truck. She had thought of nothing but this moment for so long that, now that it had come, she did not know how to proceed. All she knew for sure was that she needed to get Abby in front of her. So, she got out her knife, walked around to the back of the pole she was tied to, and started cutting the rope. Abby hit the ground hard. When she stood up the two looked at each other again. For a fraction of a second, neither knew what they were doing. It was Abby who snapped out of it first. Looking to Lev who was tied up near her, Abby quickly walked over and began untying the boy's ropes. Ellie could do nothing but stand there dumbfounded.

Lev fell to the ground, but did not move. Abby quickly went to him and untied the rope from around his wrists. As bizarre as this moment was, Abby had snapped out of her confusion. All she could think of now was getting Lev safely away from this hell hole. She mustered every bit of strength that remained in her, picked the boy up, and started walking. Then, remembering the woman who had just saved them both, she turned around. Abby didn't know what she was doing here or why she just cut her down, and she didn't care. All she could think of was getting as far away from there as possible.

"There are boats this way"

Abby said, and continued walking with the boy in her arms towards the shore.

It seemed that Ellie had entered a state of shock so severe that nothing made sense anymore in her head. She had become emaciated, dehydrated, battered and bruised, and had lost enough blood by now that, coupled with finally seeing the woman she had been obsessed with for over a year, she was surprised she didn't faint. It seemed to her that the only option available was to follow her.

She and Abby walked a few yards to a nearby beach where there were two boats anchored to posts in the sand; one of which was mostly underwater and obviously unusable. When Ellie finally caught up, Abby had placed the boy carefully into the good boat and was untying it from the post. Ellie waded through the waves and slowly made her way to the boat. With no small amount of pain, she pulled off her heavy backpack and placed it next to the unconscious boy. Holding the bleeding wound in her side with one hand, and the edge of the boat with the other, she turned to look at Abby.

The two women looked at each other for only a moment. But in that moment, something unspoken was shared between them. Both were shocked at the others' appearance, neither knew quite what they were doing or how to proceed from here, and neither could find the strength at that moment to confront any of it. So, without a word spoken, Ellie climbed painfully into the boat, and sat at the front. Abby threw the rope into the boat, climbed in at the back, got the engine running, and then carefully put Lev's head between her legs. She looked at Ellie again, half lying down against the front of the boat and examining her bleeding stomach. Abby started the boat forwards, and they sailed silently into the night.


	2. Disconcertion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on the yacht

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems to me that the first couple of chapters are coming out maybe a bit long-winded. I promise I won't always be writing every single blink, but I feel like the first few hours are important to really dig into. Feel free to let me know what you guys think!

In the darkness and fog it seemed to Ellie that she was floating through space. The beach was behind them now, and nothing ahead of them but the sea. She closed her eyes and felt something closer to calm than she had experienced in months. For just a minute, there was nothing else in the world but the wind hitting the side of her face, and the hum of the boat's engine. When she opened her eyes again she looked around her and, to her great dissatisfaction, remembered where she was and how she got there. Abby was steering the boat, but looking past her, out into the night. The boy laying between them stayed unmoving except for an occasional twitch when they hit a particularly rough wave. Ellie blinked, still unwilling to analyze her situation. She sat up abruptly, wincing at the pain in her side, and reached for her backpack. In that split second Abby flinched, letting go of the throttle, and putting both of her hands quickly over Lev's body between her legs. The boat idled and the two women sat completely still for a moment, looking questioningly into each other's eyes.

Ellie moved first, taking a canteen of water out of her backpack and opening it. When she brought it to her mouth and started drinking Abby's shoulders relaxed, and she slowly moved her hands off the boy, and rested them on her thighs, dropping her head and exhaling a deep, but quiet, breath. Abby didn't know what sort of situation she was currently in. The only instinct she felt presently was to mistrust anything that moved. She had to get Lev back to their yacht. She was unaware that Ellie murdered most of the Rattlers, and that the prisoners she subsequently freed had most likely killed the rest at the camp. So her plan was to stay far enough from the coast that they couldn't be blindsided, but close enough that she could follow it back to the beach outside Mesa Bluff Park. When she raised her head again Ellie was staring at her, her arm outstretched, offering the canteen.

Abby looked at it for a second, then she looked at Ellie. Without a word from either of them, she took the canteen in one hand and lifted Lev's head with the other. She poured the water slowly and carefully into his mouth until he started to swallow some. After placing his head back down onto her lap, she started drinking. There wasn't much water left, but she finished all of it. She had been tied to the pyre for nearly two days, and the feeling of the water going down her throat was like nothing she had ever felt before. She handed the canteen back to Ellie and said, in a cracked voice,

"There's more on my boat."

Ellie just nodded and put the canteen back into her backpack. They spent the rest of the trip in silence, sometimes catching each other's eye and looking quickly away. By the time they made it back to the yacht it was still dark. Abby pulled the skiff up to the beach, got out and picked Lev up carefully. Ellie sat in the boat watching her carry the boy. The tide was nearly coming in, but she was still able to walk up to the back of the yacht and get them inside the cabin.

For a minute or two Ellie just sat there staring out into the ocean. She supposed she should leave. But where would she go? She didnt think couldn't face anyone in Jackson again, and she knew Dina wouldn't be waiting for her. So she sat, not so much contemplating her situation as she was waiting and hoping for an answer to present itself. She let out a sigh and, when she looked over at the yacht, Abby had come back out onto the deck and was looking at her, holding a cup in each hand. Going over there didn't make any sense. But nothing made sense to her anymore and, just now, she didn't have the energy to come up with a better plan. So she stood up, aching from head to toe, slung her backpack over her good side, and waded through ankle-deep water over to the yacht.

By the time she stepped up onto the deck, Abby was back inside the cabin. After weighing her options one final time, she hesitantly stepped into the small room and set her bag down on the floor. Abby turned around and made to lock the door behind her. Both women had to turn to the side to get past each other in the narrow entry way. The door locked, and the tide coming in, Abby sat down. Ellie took a moment to look around. She had been in this cabin before, but hadn't paid much attention. The ceiling was two or three feet taller than she was. A bench ran along the left side, with a small table in front of it, and a small set of cabinets and countertop ran along the right, after a small closet near the door. There was one bed the width of the room all the way at the back where the boy was now lying. She sat down on the bench near Abby, who handed her a cup. Ellie took a sip and nearly choked.

"What the hell is this?" she coughed.

"I don't really know", Abby said, "some kind of hooch. It's been on the yacht since..."

She didn't finish. Ellie didn't respond. She picked up the cup again and took a smaller sip, then reached into her bag and pulled out two expired candy bars from her backpack, handing one to Abby. Abby gave a weak smile in her direction and they started eating. For a long time the two sat in silence. It would be a few more hours before the tide was fully in and the boat could launch again.

After a couple of ounces of alcohol and a candy bar, Abby started to feel just a shred of normalcy returning to her body. She sat back against the bench and, for the first time since leaving the camp, took a moment to regard the woman who saved her. She seemed shorter than she remembered her, and much skinnier. She had the greenest eyes Abby thought she had ever seen. Her face and neck were painted in blood and sea water, as well as freckles and sun-burnt peeling skin. As she lifted the cup up to take a drink, Abby noticed the tattoo on her forearm. Her arms and hands were covered in old scars, much like Abby's own.

That's when Abby remembered she had been holding onto her stomach for most of the boat ride.

"What's wrong with your side?" Abby asked.

"I uh... fell on a tree branch" Ellie said, looking down at it.

"Can I see it?"

Ellie looked up at Abby, half quizzcally and half, seemingly, annoyed. She lifted her tank top up a few inches to reveal a narrow, but deep gash under her right ribs. After regarding the injury for a few seconds Abby stood up and walked over to the cabinets. After searching around for a minute she came back to the bench with a small medical kit.

"Here," Abby said, holding out some pills, "these will help to avoid an infection."

Ellie looked at the small white capsules for only a second before taking them from the taller woman. What difference would it make if Abby were trying to poison her anyways?

Ellie swallowed the pills and watched Abby continue to look through the med kit for a few seconds. Then she produced a bottle of alcohol, a small needle and some thread.

"We really should sew that up" Abby said, looking at Ellie's side.

Ellie thought for a second and then said, "Alright, give it to me."

"It's kind of in an awkward position" said Abby, still looking at the gash.

Ellie rolled her eyes and sat up to reach for the alcohol. The act of bending forward sent a sharp pain all the way from Ellie's abdomen through her back. She laid back against the bench, gripping her side and biting her cheek.

After Ellie's breathing returned to normal Abby stood up, picked up the nearby lamp and brought it closer to the bench. She picked up a rag from the counter and poured some of the alcohol onto it. She took a breath and turned around again. Ellie was looking at her with an exasperated look on her face, but she stepped closer. When she went to reach for Ellie's tank top, Ellie grabbed her by the wrist and said

"Just...."

She held onto her wrist for a couple of seconds, shaking her head, and then finally let go of it. She had grabbed Abby with the hand she was holding her side with, and Abby now had a ring of fresh blood around her wrist.

"Just get it over with" Ellie breathed.

Abby sat down on the bench right next to Ellie. Ellie moved her hips further down the seat and tried to lie back as flat as she could, lifting her right arm and resting it on top of her head. She sat reclined, looking straight ahead. Abby took one more inquisitive look at her face before proceeding. She slowly pulled Ellie's tank top back up above the wound. She then took the alcohol-soaked rag and began carefully wiping around the area. She set the bloody rag aside and picked up the needle and suture. She moved her eyes up at Ellie's face before beginning, then back down to her side. She flinched once or twice, but Abby managed to get the area sewed up relatively quickly, and without a word from either of them. Afterwards Abby stood up and started towards the cabinet to put the medical kit away. Without turning around she said,

"There's a hose on deck. It pumps the rain water we collect... It's not strong, but if you want to rinse off you can."

Ellie stood up quickly and made for the door. Right now she was willing to do anything to get out of this room for a few minutes.

"Hold on" Abby said, moving towards the closet.

She took out a tee shirt and a pair of pants and handed them to Ellie. Ellie took them and walked quickly outside. Once outside Ellie let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding in. The sun was just starting to rise. Ellie guessed it was 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning. She looked back towards the closed door and then tentatively took off her shoes, then her blood-soaked tank top and jeans. She found the hose and turned on the water. It was freezing, so she quickly rinsed her hair, her arms, her legs, and finally her stomach. When she was finished she reached for the clothes Abby had given her. It was a plain grey tee shirt and green cargo pants; both of which were comically oversized on Ellie. She sat down and looked out into the horizon; just glad to be at least a little bit cleaner, and wearing something soft.

"This is fucking crazy" she said, standing back up.

She held up the pants and walked back into the cabin. Abby had also changed her clothes. She was now also wearing a tee shirt that looked too big for her and a pair of boxer shorts, and was lying on the bed next to the small boy. Ellie bolted the door, walked quietly over to the bench, and lay down. She turned onto her good side, crossed her arms and closed her eyes.

"This is fucking crazy."


	3. Perception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life on the yacht is... awkward at first.

Ellie yawned and stretched. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this comfortable. Without opening her eyes, she made to roll over, and abruptly fell onto the floor. She sprang quickly to her knees, holding both fists up, and looked around. She saw the bench she had been sleeping on, the small closet, the door to the cabin, still shut, and everything came flooding back. Relaxing her arms, she turned around to looked towards the back of the cabin, where Abby and Lev were sitting on the bed staring at her wide-eyed. She rubbed her face and sighed, then picked herself back up onto the bench.

"Sorry"

Her voice was barely audible, and it hurt her throat to speak. Abby and Lev had been talking about what happened, and what they were going to do moving forwards. Abby guessed this girl was probably going to go home as soon as she felt able to. She didn't know what she was doing in California, but she assumed she had other places to be, people who might be looking for her. Just then Lev said something to Abby that was too quiet for Ellie to hear. He stood up and slowly made his way to the door, giving her a half smile on his way outside. The sun hit Ellie's eyes and it felt blinding. She put up her hand to shield her face, but the door was quickly closed. Ellie ran her fingers through her hair, and tried to ease the incredible head ache she was now realizing she had. When she looked over again she saw that Abby was still staring at her. Abby looked awful. She was still wearing the same clothes she had changed into the night they got there. Her arms and face were covered in burnt, peeling skin, and there were bruises, some new and some old, on just about every part of her body that Ellie could see.

"How long have I been asleep?" Ellie asked. She was genuinely curious, but also felt that this was a safe enough topic to break the awkward silence.

"About two days"

When she said that, it snapped Abby out of whatever trance she seemed to be in, and she stood up and walked over to the cabinets in front of Ellie. She poured some water from a large canister into a cup and set it down on the table next to Ellie, along with a protein bar.

"Thanks" Ellie said, not looking up.

Abby stood still for a second, and then walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge. Ellie could tell she had something she wanted to say. But, rather than address it, she picked up the water and drank the entire thing in about three seconds. It was so soothing on her throat. She looked at the cannister, then looked at Abby, nodding at it. Abby nodded back. So Ellie got up to refill her cup. As soon as she stood up her pants started to fall down, and she quickly grabbed the waist, remembering the outfit she was given two days ago. She tucked the baggy shirt into the waist of the pants to help keep them up, and walked to the counter to refill her water, then sat back down and started eating the protein bar. It tasted terrible. But it felt good to have something hit her stomach.

"Why are you here?" Abby blurted out.

Shit. This was not a conversation Ellie wanted to have right now. What could she say? "I spent months tracking you down so I could kill you but I couldn't do it once I saw you and now I have nowhere to go so I'm here eating your food"? Ellie remained silent, chewing the stale protein bar.

"I mean," Abby continued, "aren't there people who will be wondering where you are?"

Okay. So she means here as in right here.

"No," Ellie said, keeping her eyes on the floor, "no one."

She couldn't go on for fear of losing control of her emotions. So she just took another bite and left it at that. Abby didn't understand, but it was obvious this struck a nerve. Abby had a difficult time trusting anyone these days, particularly after everything the rattlers did to her. But there was something about Ellie. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but for some reason she didn't feel threatened by this young woman. She told herself over and over, in the last day and a half, that what she should feel for her was revulsion, given their history. But she didn't feel that. Maybe her hatred was stifled by the guilt she felt over what she had done to Ellie. Maybe she was a little impressed that someone as small and unthreatening as her could do the things she had done. Maybe being captured and tortured for months had just put a new perspective on life. She didn't know. All she knew for sure was that, for whatever reason, she did just save her and Lev's lives. So, if she really was all alone in California, Abby supposed she should offer her a place to stay. Ellie didn't exactly seem to be in a rush to leave anyway.

"Okay," Abby said, "well, look.."

Just as she started to speak the door opened again, and both women jumped. It was Lev coming back inside. He closed the door and looked back and forth between the two of them.

"Alright?" He asked Abby.

Abby nodded, and he walked in and leaned on the counter.

"Are you going to stay with us?"

Ellie looked up at him and, for a second, she couldn't tell whether or not he was genuinely asking.

"I..."

Ellie looked around her. She had been sleeping in broken down abandoned buildings for months. Sometimes she couldn't even find a decent building for the night. The cabin was small, but she felt much more at ease here than she had in a long time. She didn't want to put her bloody clothes back on. She didn't want to go back out there and be homeless again. She didn't know exactly how she felt about living with Abby, even temporarily. But right now, it sounded better than living alone. She looked at Abby, trying to read in her expression how she felt about the idea. But she couldn't quite read her face. She just seemed to be waiting. The two looked at each other for what felt like a long time; both waiting for the other to provide the answer.

"I mean I guess I sh-"  
"Look if you h-"

They spoke at the same time. Lev looked back and forth between them with a puzzled look on his face. It was Abby who spoke up then.

"You can stay with us... if you have nowhere else to go.."

"No..." Elie said, "I mean no, I don't.. have anywhere. I mean.. if you don't mind.."

"We don't mind" Lev said, turning to look at Abby.

"No, we don't mind"

\--------------------------------------------

It turned out that, while Ellie was sleeping, Abby had moved the yacht from the beach at which Ellie originally found it. When she asked about it, Abby told her she took them a few miles back up the coast, just to be sure they weren't anywhere near rattler territory. But, the gas in the was running much too low to make it very far, and Abby wanted to maintain at least a low level at all times in case they needed to flea in a hurry. By the fifth day on the boat the three had fallen into something of an uncomfortable rhythm. They spent most of the day inside the cabin, as all three of them were much too injured to venture too far from the beach. At night, Abby and Lev slept on the bed, and Ellie slept on the bench. Sometimes Lev went walking up and down the beach during the day, leaving Ellie and Abby alone together. Most of the time one of them would find a reason to go outside, or just busy themselves with something like cleaning a gun, sharpening a knife, or anything else that required focus.

There were times where the three of them could enjoy themselves together. They would often sit outside on the deck at night, and sometimes Ellie would let them share the headphones of her cassette player. Lev would particularly enjoy himself. Ellie would just watch them listening. It had been so long since she had seen a smile, and when Lev's face lit up after a new song started, it made Ellie smile. Abby would also smile, but Ellie suspected that was more about seeing Lev's excitement.

One day Abby went walking with Lev, and Ellie took the time to look around. First she looked in the closet. She did manage to salvage the pants she had been wearing after washing them a few times, but her shirt was completely ruined. So she was still in the size large tee shirt Abby had given her that first night. To no great surprise, there were three or four tee shirts in the closet, all size larges.

"Well shit," she moaned, "you couldn't have come up with a better hobby than working out?"

Then she reprimanded herself, remembering that Abby had lost much of the muscle tone she had probably been pretty proud of. She was still bigger than Ellie, and she didn't seem to mind wearing her own clothes, even though they were too big for her now as well. She would just either tuck her tee shirts in, or tie a knot in them at the back. She kept looking around and did eventually find a small stack of men's undershirt tank tops, size small. She stopped and listened for a second, making sure Abby and Lev weren't about to come back in, then quickly took off the tee shirt she was wearing and put on the tank top. That was much better.

When they got back they were both carrying an armful of some kind of plant. Lev had apparently found some aloe growing nearby, and knew it would help to soothe he and Abby's skin. Not wanting to take of his shirt in front of Abby and Ellie, Lev took a leaf and a knife and went out on deck. Abby hesitated for a second and then, catching each other's eyes, both women turned around to face away from each other. Ellie looked around the front of the cabin for something to focus on, but couldn't find anything. So in stead she just started picking her nails and looking down at her hands. Abby cut open one of the leaves and started applying the goo to her face. It felt amazing. It was cool and soothing. She carefully applied the aloe to her face and arms, then she had to do the back of her neck and upper back. She turned her head, and Ellie was still facing away from her. She lifted her arms up and behind her head to pull her shirt up and let out a shriek of pain. In addition to everything she had been through, being tied to the pyre for two days had left her with a slight shoulder injury. Ellie turned around to see what happened. Abby was just standing still, with her arms wrapped around herself.

"Do you need help?" Ellie asked quietly.

Abby didn't answer right away. She didn't turn around. She just slowly let her arms fall down and looked up at the ceiling. In this moment, Abby felt miserable. She never needed anyone to help her do anything. Once, while out on patrol, she fell through a second story ceiling and twisted her ankle. She made it back to the stadium on her own. She couldn't really believe the situation she was in right now. It was easy enough to just ignore most of the time. But now, she couldn't even get her own shirt off. Ellie wondered if she should maybe just let it go. So she remained seated, just looking at the back of Abby's head. Abby eventually sighed and turned around to look at Ellie. Ellie could see the misery in Abby's expression, and it was something of a shock to her system. Before this week, she had only ever seen Abby furious. For the first time, Abby became a real person to Ellie. She was used to her being just a concept in her mind. Ellie stood up and walked the short distance between them.

The two stood face to face for a moment looking at each other. Then, Ellie put her hands on Abby's waist and turned her around. She untucked Abby's shirt and carefully pulled the back up and over Abby's head. Abby held the shirt in front of her, and Ellie reached for the Aloe and scooped some into her fingers. When she first touched Abby's skin, Abby flinched. Ellie went slowly and carefully over Abby's neck, upper back and shoulders without a word from either of them. When she was finished, she reached around her and pulled the shirt back over her head and down, tying it in a knot at the bottom. Something changed between them after that. Awkward silences became less awkward, conversation came easier to them, and they didn't avoid looking at each other anymore.

Eventually they started to run low on supplies on the boat, and none of them were thrilled with the idea of sharing such cramped quarters for very long. After talking it over one night, the three of them agreed that they were going to have to anchor the yacht, and find somewhere else to stay. It had been about two weeks since they got back, and their injuries were mostly healed; or, healed enough that they could walk and hunt. Abby and Lev knew the area well enough that they knew what areas to avoid and what areas might have resources. So it was decided, the next morning they would pack their bags and set off on foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and nice comments, everyone! I have been thoroughly enjoying writing this, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one with an Abby obsession!


	4. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much spice.

California was a bizarre place for all three to find themselves in. It was enormous, and mostly uninhabited; at least, the bit they found themselves in was. There were some days that they didn't come across anything living but wild animals; who showed little to no reaction to their presence. They spent a large portion of their days walking. They never discussed a desire to be farther inland. When they left the yacht several weeks ago they started walking, and no one seemed to be interested in stopping so far. When they came across a building that was particularly stable, or particularly fortifiable, they would stay for a few days. This allowed for brief periods of respite, a feeling something like stability, and often an abundance of resources. When they needed to hunt, the task was often given to Lev. Ever since the first time Ellie saw him shoot his bow, she never stopped being amazed at his skill. It also seemed to be a source of pride for him. Most of the physically laborious tasks fell to Abby or Ellie, as did securing perimeters, fixing weapons, , and just about everything else that didn't involve fitting into small spaces. So Lev enjoyed doing the hunting, and the women didn't mind letting him do it; though they almost never let him go out by himself.

Currently, they were walking along a highway. Lev was humming a song. About a week ago they came across an old music store, and Ellie found a slightly cracked, but still functional, guitar. It was small; Ellie guessed it was some kind of starter guitar for children. But it sounded fine, and was much lighter weight than a regular guitar. So she took it, along with an extra pack of strings, just in case. At night, or when they were taking a break during the day, she would play for him sometimes. Currently, he was humming "Cherry Bomb", which was really funny to Ellie. Abby was looking back and forth between a gigantic, unfurled road map they found at an abandoned gas station, and the passing surroundings, trying to figure out exactly where they were. She had a furrowed brow, and occasionally she would mumble to herself,

"Okay well we're definitely walking north... That sign says '99' so... We just saw that river.."

At the moment Ellie was walking slightly behind the other two, watching Abby and stifling a smile. She seemed to be concentrating so hard, and that also seemed really funny to Ellie. She couldn't care less where they were, and she wasn't really sure why Abby did. Ellie wondered if it was really important for her to know where she was, or if it was more about her seemingly constant need to have a task to do. Eventually Ellie couldn't let her go on any longer, so she cleared her throat and said,

"I think we're heading into Bakersfield."

Abby stopped and turned around, still with a confused look on her face.

"What? How do you know that?"

Ellie bit her tongue to keep herself from laughing, then looked down at her feet and said,

"We passed a sign a while ago; said 'welcome to Bakersfield.' I guess you weren't looking."

At first, Abby felt inclined to walk over and punch her in the face. She took a moment to process this. She looked down at the map she had been studying, then back at Ellie, who still had her head down. Lev was still humming, but quieter now, looking back and forth between them. Abby wasn't really mad. But she didn't like wasting time, and she didn't like being a joke; patricularly to a smug little waif like Ellie. She looked at Lev, who just shrugged. After a few seconds of silence Ellie lifted her eyes up to look at Abby, and now couldn't help smiling a little. Seeing Ellie's contorted face, and realizing the ridiculousness of the situation, Abby started laughing in spite of herself.

"You can be a real asshole, you know that?"

Ellie and Lev looked at each other, smiling and pointing finger guns at each other. Abby turned and looked wide-eyed at Lev, then back at Ellie.

"I taught him that," Ellie said, winking at him.

"Okay, well great," Abby said, "so... Bakersfield. Should we ditch the road then?"

The other two nodded in agreement. Abby marked Bakersfield on her map, folded it up and put it into her backpack, and the three left the fragmented highway, and walked towards the city. 

By the time they made it into the center of the city, the sun was starting to set. They had come across several clickers since leaving the highway. So, when they decided on an old factory to spend the night in, they wanted to make sure it was fully cleared out before relaxing. After breaking in, Abby told Lev to have his bow ready, but wait up front while she and Ellie looked around the rest of the building. Abby went left, Ellie went right, and they proceeded to check every area of the huge building. When she got to the back of the building, Abby could hear something above her. She screwed the silencer onto her pistol, opened the door to the stairwell, and started up towards the offices slowly. When she got to the top, she crouched low and looked around the corner. There was a narrow hallway, with small offices along the rear wall. She exhaled quietly, and started walking with her gun up.

With her flashlight turned on, she entered the first office and looked around; she didn't see anything, and the noise she heard earlier had stopped. There was a break in the wall that led into the office next door. She looked through the opening and didn't see anything. She turned sideways and started into the next room. As soon as she entered the room she heard a creak in the floor and, in an instant she and Ellie had their guns pointed at each other.

"God dammit" Ellie said, lowering her gun.

"Find anything?" Abby asked, holstering hers.

"Just a bunch of broken office equipment. Why is it, wherever we go, all of the fucking scissors we find are broken in half? Did everyone decide, when the outbreak happened, that they would work better as knives or what?"

Abby laughed and shook her head, and the two went back downstairs. After making sure all of the exterior doors were locked, they started looking around for somewhere to relax for the night. They decided on a conference room on the ground floor. The room was big, and it had an old leather couch in it. Whenever they came across somewhere with furniture, the three would take turns sleeping on it. Tonight it was Lev's turn. Abby went looking around for something to make a bed out of, and Lev asked Ellie to play something on the guitar for him.

"Ugh, not tonight, kid"

He gave her a sad face, and she rubbed her eyes.

"Fine. But you're on thin ice," she said walking over to the guitar.

He looked down, and then back up at Ellie, confused.

"Nevermind."

Ellie quick-tuned the guitar, and then started strumming random chords until she thought of something to play. She remembered a song Maria used to sing all the time. She started plucking out the melody, and Lev crossed his legs and rested his face in his hands to listen. Ellie shook her head and started singing

"Hold me, hold me  
Never let me go until you've told me, told me  
What I want to know and then just hold me, hold me  
Make me tell you I'm in love with you.."

Elsewhere, Abby found some packing material and a fire blanket for a makeshift bed. As she got closer to the conference room, she could hear that Ellie was playing. Lev loved hearing music, but Abby had never sat and listened to Ellie play. It seemed like she was always busy with something else. But the truth was, she hadn't wanted to hear her play. There was still so much that went unsaid between them, and Abby's feelings towards her were confusing at the best of times. She still didn't really know what she was doing there, although she had a theory, and there was so much hatred between them in the past that neither of them seemed ready to confront. They got along okay for the most part nowadays, but occasionally memories would come rushing back into Abby's mind, or Ellie's, and the tension would surface again; giving way to a strange barrier between them. Without anything resolved, Abby had managed so far by thinking of Ellie as a traveling companion, and nothing more. On some level, she resented the idea of getting to know her, so she tried not to. But the more time that passed, she found this harder and harder to implement. She was curious. She got to the half-open door of the conference room, set the bundle she was carrying down, and looked in. Lev was on the couch, and Ellie was sitting on the table in the center of the room, playing,

"They told me 'Be sensible with your new love'  
'Don't be fooled, thinking this is the last you'll find'  
But they never stood in the dark with you, love  
When you take me in your arms and drive me slowly out of my mind

Kiss me, kiss me  
And when you do, I know that you will  
Miss me, miss me  
If we ever say 'adieu', so kiss me, kiss me  
Make me tell you I'm in love with you" 

A wave of heat rushed over Abby's body. She couldn't move. So she just stood there, staring at Ellie, and listening to her sing. She watched her fingers move across the neck of the guitar for a minute, then she looked at her face. She was rocking side to side a little bit, and smiling at Lev while she played, sometimes looking down at the guitar for a moment, and then back up. Abby didn't know exactly what she was feeling. She turned around and leaned against the wall. When the song was finished, Lev was asking Ellie to play another, and she threatened to give him a beat down if he didn't stop pestering her. Abby took a deep breath, picked up the packing material and blanket, and walked back into the room. 

\------------------------

Lev was asleep on the couch, and Ellie and Abby were on the floor, lying on top of the fire blanket and packing straw. Abby couldn't sleep. She looked over and saw that Ellie had her back to her. She sat up, and quietly walked out of the room. The front of the building had large, thick, glass paneling. The moon was bright tonight, and it lit up the whole area with soft, blueish-white light. Abby sat on a desk near the glass and looked outside. Everything she had refused to think of for the last few months had come back to her tonight; her father, the friends she lost, the friends she betrayed, the man she tortured. All of this was Ellie's fault. Or was it hers? She didn't know anymore. And what about Ellie? They both tried to kill each other, and now they were here. She didn't feel like she could hate Ellie anymore. But it felt like betrayal not to. It was all a little overwhelming, and tears started to form just in the corners of her eyes. 

"Abby?"

It was Ellie. Abby was a little bit startled; she had never heard Ellie say her name before. She shut her eyes to blink away the tears, cleared her throat and said,

"I just... don't sleep very well."

"I know," Ellie said, not moving at first, "I don't either"

"I know."

Feeling unable to turn around and leave the situation, Ellie started walking towards Abby. When she got close enough she could see that Abby was upset. So she stopped about 3 feet away from her, not wanting to embarass her or make it worse. The silence was awkward, and Ellie started playing with her fingers. After a few excrutiating seconds, Abby turned her head, and the two women looked at each other. When she looked into Abby's eyes, Ellie felt a rush of emotions. Everything that went unsaid between them came to a head, and Ellie's own eyes started to water a little. Abby's shook her head and, unable to hold it in any longer, she started crying. Ellie was shaking a little bit now, but she walked over until she was standing right in front of Abby. Abby looked up again and Ellie tentatively stepped between between Abby's legs and put her arms around her broad shoulders. Abby rested her face against Ellie's collarbone, and put her arms around her waist. They stayed there for a while, holding each other and crying in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a bit of context, when I wrote this I had She and Him's version of Hold Me, Kiss Me, Thrill Me in mind, not the Johnny Mathis version. So, if you're interested, give that a listen and imagine.. that, minus the drums. Also, the reason it's been a while since I added a chapter is because I was making an Abby fangirl video. If you're interested in that, feel free to check it out as well : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jnA55uPedw&t=9s
> 
> And thank you again to everyone who's been reading and commenting lovely things!!


	5. Submission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bam!"  
> -Emeril Lagasse, 1997

After a couple of days in the factory, the three decided it was time to move on. They had used up everything in the building they could, and none of them were keen on making the conference room their new home. The morning they were set to leave, Ellie had gone out to look around and get an idea of what direction they should take. That's what she told Abby and Lev, anyway. What she really wanted was some time alone. She left the factory around sunrise, and made it to the edge of the downtown area in less than an hour. All she brought with her was her silenced pistol and her knife. The area was a relatively quiet one, and sleeping on the concrete floor had left her with a sore back. Past the streets and buildings she could see a tall hill in the distance, so she started walking in that direction to get a better view of her surroundings.

As she walked she thought about her situation, honestly, for the first time since arriving on the beach in Santa Barbara. It seemed like as soon as she cut Abby down from that post, she just separated herself from her reality. It was easy enough to look at Abby without seeing Joel's killer, because she looked so different. So she mostly ignored the past, and got along by paying most of her attention to Lev. She loved teaching him funny things to say, and she usually liked playing guitar for him too. Abby didn't seem interested, but Lev's face always lit up when she played.

But after that first night in the factory, her mind was turned back on. Ellie didn't believe in having regrets, so she didn't exactly wish she had never left Jackson. But she did wonder how it is that she let herself get here. When she played back the events leading up to now, she felt strangely distant from it. Maybe it was being in another state, far away from it all. Maybe it was just her finally coming to terms with everything. But, Abby. Even coming face to face with everything that happened between them didn't seem to awaken any of her old feelings about her. Why did she cut her down from that pyre? Why did she help take care of her injuries? Why did Abby help her with her own? And, most importantly, why didn't she hate her? Ellie didn't quite know. But she would be lying to herself if she said there wasn't a small part of herself that sympathized with Abby. Her train of thought was broken when she heard the disturbed wailing of infected nearby. She crouched low, pulled out her pistol, and started moving slowly towards it.

\----------------------------

Back at the factory, Abby was looking around for anything useful they might have missed. She found a broken pair of scissors on the floor and she half-smiled. Shaking her head, she decided they had taken this building for everything it had, and she headed back towards the conference room. Lev was sitting on the floor looking at a book.

"What's that?" Abby asked, walking towards him.

"It's a book Ellie had in her backpack"

"You shouldn't look through Ellie's bag, dude"

"You're in it, look" he said, holding up the book.

"What?"

Abby walked over and took the book from Lev. It was Ellie's journal, and on the last page that had been used was a drawing of Abby. Abby stared at it for a few seconds. It was a picture of her face, with her name written underneath. Abby flipped through the pages quickly, seeing a mixture of writing and drawings. This was obviously some kind of diary. She closed the book and closed her eyes.

"This was in there too" he said, holding up a polaroid picture.

Abby took it from him and turned it over. It was a picture of her and Owen at the cabin near Jackson. She flipped it over, and over again. "Abby + Owen" was written along the bottom. She couldn't remember taking this picture, or where Ellie might have gotten it; or why. It felt strange looking at Owen's face after so long, and even stranger seeing her own. She looked so different now. She looked at the smile on her face. That must've been the last time she felt truly optimistic. Looking at this picture made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Then she remembered where it came from, and she felt even more uncomfortable. She snapped out of it and handed Lev back the journal and the polaroid.

"Just... put them back where you found them" she said in a rough voice.

Lev slowly put the polaroid back into the journal, put it into Ellie's backpack, and zipped it up, looking apologetic. Abby felt bad for snapping at him, so she smiled at him, pinched his shoulder and said,

"And quit going through other people's stuff you little ferret!"

He smiled, and they both finished packing their stuff.

\---------------------

It must have been around 9 or 10 in the morning by the time they heard a knock on the front door.

"It's me!"

Lev walked over to unbolt the door and let Ellie in. Abby turned and saw that her arms were bloody, as was her shirt. She felt panicked and, without thinking, she walked quickly over and grabbed Ellie's shoulder. Looking her over she asked, somewhat frantically,

"Are you okay?"

Ellie was stunned for a second. It wasn't unusual for any of the three of them to get some blood on them from time to time. She also couldn't remember one time since leaving the yacht that Abby seemed so concerned with her well-being.

"It's... not mine..." Ellie said, looking at Abby questioningly.

Abby quickly let go of her shoulder and nodded. The three of them were now standing very awkwardly in the doorway of the factory, Ellie and Lev staring at Abby.

"So?" Abby said, breaking the silence.

Ellie blinked.

"Yeah. So, at the end of the buildings, there's this huge hill. When I got to the top I could see pretty far. Back that way is obviously the highway", she said pointing, "and that way looks like nothing but forest. But that way, I saw what looked like a town. I thought that might be worth a look."

They discussed their options for a while. Abby thought that a town sounded like a dangerous idea. Lev thought it sounded exciting. Ellie suggested that they might at least see what was there, from a distance. If it looked sketchy, they could always leave. But the alternative seemed to be woods. After some time, Abby was talked into it. So the three got their gear, and started walking again.

\------------------------

They ended up spending one night out in the open on their way to the town. They built a fire, cooked a rabbit that Lev had caught, and unrolled an old sleeping bag they found in a car on the way. They took it in shifts to keep watch. Ellie volunteered to go first. She really didn't mind. She wasn't tired, and it was kind of nice to sit outside at night; which they rarely did. After a couple of hours of sitting up, Abby came over to the tree Ellie was leaning against and tapped her on the shoulder.

"My turn."

Ellie didn't respond. She stood up, and they were face to face for a moment. Ellie opened her mouth, but closed it again. Then she turned and started walking towards the sleeping bag.

"Night" she said, half turning back around.

"Night" Abby said under her breath.

Ellie was laying on one side of the sleeping bag next to Lev with her head on her bent elbow. She couldn't sleep. This wasn't ordinarily unusual for her, but her thoughts were running a little faster than usual tonight. She didn't notice Lev getting up for his turn to watch, but she did notice Abby lying down next to her. She could hear her grinding her teeth a little bit, which Ellie had noticed she did sometimes when she was uneasy. Ever since that night in the factory, sleeping next to each other became a little weirder than it already was. Before then, they were both aware of each other's sleeping difficulties; it just hadn't been said out loud. So now, they would lie next to each other, knowing the other wasn't sleeping, and knowing that the other knew she wasn't sleeping. This seemed stupid, and Ellie quickly lost patience with the idea of two people pretending to not know they were both awake. She turned over onto her other side to face Abby. Abby was lying on her back, but she turned her head at Ellie's movement. The fire was relatively far away from them, but they could just barely make out each other's faces in the dark.

Abby looked over at Lev, who was still sitting up against the tree, looking out in the other direction. Then she looked back at Ellie, and turned onto her side to face her. They didn't say anything. But it was comforting to be acknowledging each other. Abby was glad it was Ellie who finally ended their weird pretending-to-sleep thing. Neither of them could guess what the other was thinking, but for the moment it didn't seem to matter. So they just stayed there, looking at each other. Abby could never be sure why she did this, but for some reason, she eventually started moving her hand towards Ellie's and just touched her pointer finger with her own. Ellie looked down at their hands for a second, then she took Abby's hand in hers, and looked back up. Still, neither said a word. They just laid like that until the sun started to rise.

\---------------------------

When they made it to the outskirts of the town, Abby took Ellie's rifle and looked through the scope. There was no one in sight. But it was weirder than that. To begin with, the "town" was completely in the middle of nothing and nowhere. There were several houses that looked strange and oddly-spaced. There were broken neon signs half hanging off of some of the buildings, and what looked like a children's playground. It was the oddest thing Abby had ever seen.

"Well?" said Lev, impatiently.

Abby handed Ellie the rifle for her to see. She looked for a minute, then lowered the rifle, looking just as confused as Abby. She handed the gun to Lev to look through, and then the three of them looked at each other.

"Well," said Ellie, "I don't see any reason NOT to go over there."

So they did. When they got to the front of this bizarre place Lev found a big knocked-over sign with a lighthouse on it that said "Kern County Museum". A museum? What kind of museum was this? It was full of ancient-looking houses, mostly in terrible disrepair, one building absolutely full of broken down, old carriages, the playground, and a photograph gallery. It seemed to be some kind of tribute to pioneer times. After looking around for a while, they decided they better pick a place to sleep before it got dark. They walked along the street with the old houses and saw a big green one that had a relatively good looking structure, so they went in to look around. Ellie thought it looked exactly like something she had seen in Clint Eastwood movies. They closed the door behind them and the three took in what they saw, then turned and looked at each other with raised eyebrows. The walls were lined with patterned paper and the kitchen had a huge cast-iron stove in it, as well as a wooden table and chairs. On the walls hung glass lanterns with candles stuck inside, and the furniture was mostly velvet and extremely gaudy. Upstairs there were four rooms, and a set of stairs leading up to the attic. It seemed too good to be true. After making sure they were alone in the house, they all agreed this would be a good place to stay for a while.

"And I get my own room!" said Lev, turning to run upstairs.

"Yeah, looks like we all do, kid" Ellie called after him.

After setting their stuff down in their respective rooms upstairs, Abby had gone out and took some old wood off of some of the other houses to make a fire in the stove. As she was bent over, building it up, Ellie came down and sat down at the table.

"This is so weird" she said, touching the chair she sat on, then the table in front of her, "actual furniture."

Lev came down shortly after and they sat together in front of the fire in the kitchen for a while. Just after the sun went down Lev started yawning, and got up to go upstairs. Ellie got up and took one of the lanterns off the wall, opened it and took out the candle. After lighting it in the stove, she put it back inside and handed it to him. He took it, smiling a huge smile, and went upstairs. Abby and Ellie heard the door shut behind him, and looked at each other and laughed. After a few minutes Ellie got up again and said she was tired too. She took two more lanterns from the wall, set one on the table in front of Abby, and lit one for herself. Abby said she was going to stay for a little while longer, so Ellie went upstairs.

When she got upstairs she walked to the last room at the end of the hallway and set the lantern down. She took out the candle and lit the rest of the lanterns hanging on the walls so that the room was well-lit enough to be able to see. She looked around, still not really believing where she was. The room she picked didn't have much in it, but it seemed pretty big to her. There was a bureau against one wall, opposite a small bed on the other, and a window on the third wall. She took an old, thin blanket from her backpack and laid it over the dusty bed. It was still pretty warm at night, so she wasn't worried about having anything to cover herself with. She walked back over to the front of the room and squatted to get something out of her backpack when the door opened. It was Abby. Ellie looked at her and saw an unusual expression on her face.

"What's up?" Ellie asked.

Abby closed the door behind her and walked a few steps into the room. Ellie stood up and walked towards her. She stopped a few feet in front of her so that they were now standing in the middle of the room, between the bed and the door. Abby was looking at Ellie, but not saying anything. Ellie looked around and waited a minute to see if she would say something, but she didn't.

"Abby, what..."

Ellie stopped talking when Abby suddenly started walking up to her. Abby looked at Ellie for a second, then took her by the shoulders, and kissed her.

Ellie stood there, arms by her side, blinking her eyes rapidly. Abby had backed away a couple of steps, near the wall, and was now standing with her hands in her pockets, looking at the floor. Ellie's mind had gone blank. She tried to focus on the situation, but couldn't form a train of thought. She just stood blinking, and staring at Abby, with her mouth open. Abby's eyes were now moving from one spot on the floor, to another, to another; and Ellie could see that her hands were in fists in her pockets. Ellie looked Abby over from bottom to top. She usually stood with her legs fairly far apart, but right now her feet were only inches away from each other. She had regained quite a bit of definition in her arms and shoulders. Her hair had grown out a little bit since she found her in Santa Barbara, but not much. She had a long scar across her left cheek, and many smaller ones all over the rest of her body. Ellie took the breath she had evidently been holding, and exhaled slowy. Abby looked up and opened her mouth to say something.

Before she could, Ellie walked over and closed the gap between them so they were standing face to face again. Abby tried reading Ellie's expression, but couldn't. She swallowed, and stood completely still. Ellie slowly took Abby's wrists and pulled her hands out of her pockets. She looked down, and ran her fingers up the back of Abby's hands to her finger tips. Abby looked down and raised her hands up at the wrists as Ellie's fingers moved up and over her finger tips and down her palms. Both women's breathing had become faster and deeper at this new kind of contact. The sensation was electrifying, and it sent shivers all the way up Abby's arms. They both raised their eyes back up to look at each other. They laced their fingers together and, squeezing Abby's hands firmly, Ellie backed Abby up into the wall behind her and kissed her again. This kiss was long, and every muscle in Abby's arms relaxed as Ellie held her hands against the wall next to her head. Their lips parted and they looked into each other's eyes one more time and, after that, there was no more contemplation or reservation.

Ellie was leaning against Abby, and the feeling of her stomach pressed against hers was intoxicating. Abby's lips were soft; softer than Ellie imagined they might be. Ellie let go of Abby's left hand pulled her head back a little bit. She brought her own hand up to Abby's face, and ran her thumb across Abby's lower lip. Abby's breath was hot on her hand, and she didn't stay there long before she brought her hand around the back of Abby's neck and brought their lips together again. When their tongues touched, Ellie let out a deep sigh into Abby's mouth, which made Abby feel high. Abby had never been kissed like this before, and she was thankful for the wall behind her, holding her up. Ellie moved her left hand from Abby's down her arm, over her chest, and down her abdomen. She squeezed Abby's hip, causing Abby's pelvis to jerk forwards into her own. Ellie put her arm around Abby's waist, and moved her hand up her back, under her shirt. Abby ran her fingers through Ellie's hair and held onto the back of Ellie's head, trying to pull her closer as their lips opened and closed against each other. Their movements were becoming more and more frantic, and Ellie didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to withstand the pressure building up between her legs.

It was Abby who eventually moved them forwards, taking hold of the bottom of Ellie's tank top and lifting it upwards. Ellie lifted her arms and let Abby take it off of her. Feeling a surge of confidence now, Ellie lifted Abby's shirt up and over her head and then reached around to unhook her bra. Ellie hadn't been wearing a bra, so they now stood pressed against each other's bare chests. It had been so long since either of them had felt the touch of another person, that they continued kissing for another minute or two, bathing in the feeling of bare skin. Ellie then moved her hands down Abby's front and unbuckled her belt. She pulled the belt out of the loops and threw it onto the floor beside them, and moved onto unbuttoning Abby's pants. The pants were one or two sizes too big on her, so they fell down to the floor, and Abby stepped out of them. She was wearing dark grey briefs, and Ellie took a moment to look at Abby's legs; she had never really seen them before. They looked fantastic. Abby found it thrilling to see what looking at her was doing to Ellie. Everything about this felt new to Abby, and she was relishing every second of it.

Abby then unbuttoned Ellie's jeans, unzipped them, and knelt to pull them down. Ellie held onto Abby's shoulders and lifted one leg at a time for Abby to pull off her pants. Ellie had on white panties with a navy blue waistband. Now kneeling in front of Ellie, Abby moved her hands up the back of Ellie's legs, over her ass, and to her lower back. She held onto her and kissed Ellie's stomach from her waist to her ribs and back down. Ellie had her hands on top of Abby's head, and leaned her own head back to close her eyes and exhale. Ellie then knelt down in front of Abby. She put one arm around her, and one hand on the floor, pushing Abby slowly backwards until she was lying on her back. Ellie knelt on the floor with one leg on each side of Abby's hips. She stayed upright and looked down at Abby's body, moving her hands upwards from her stomach. When she got to Abby's chest she could feel that her heart was racing. She moved her eyes from Abby's chest to her face. She looked a little bit nervous. Abby was nervous. Abby had never been with a woman before, but that wasn't what made her feel nervous. She had never been made to feel so wanted before; and never, in her entire life, could she remember ever wanting someone else so badly. It was a new feeling that Abby didn't completely trust. So Ellie took Abby's hand and put it on her own chest. Ellie's heart was also racing. For a brief moment the haze lifted, and there they were, just looking at each other. Abby sighed, and Ellie lowered her upper body onto Abby's.

With Abby's arms around her, Ellie started kissing Abby's neck and across her collarbone. Then, Ellie put her hands on the floor, and moved her right leg in between Abby's so that she was straddling her right leg. Still on her knees, Ellie took one hand off the floor, held Abby's face and kissed her. Still kissing her, she moved her hand all the way down Abby's body and underneath her briefs. Abby was so wet that Ellie's mouth fell open as she moved her fingers slowly up and down.

"Oh my god", Ellie breathed against the side of Abby's face.

Ellie's breath in her ear and her hand between her legs made Abby dig her nails into Ellie's back and she started to move her hips in response to Ellie's fingers. It felt to Ellie as though she had never been so turned on in her entire life. She moved her hand slowly at first, but eventually fell into a faster rhythm. Abby was holding onto her tight, her hands moving between her shoulders and lower back. Her left leg was now bent, and pressing into Ellie's waist. Abby's head was turned so that her face was against Ellie's cheek. Ellie's mouth was still open against the nape of Abby's neck, which was now wet from Ellie's breath. Ellie softly bit Abby's neck, and Abby moaned. The sound drove Ellie mad. She raised herself up, took hold of Abby's right hand, and brought it between her legs, under her panties.

Now Ellie was moaning. She brought her body back down onto Abby's, and started moving her hips back and forth on Abby's fingers. Abby felt beside herself now. Ellie was moving her fingers faster now, and she was kissing Abby harder. Abby started to move her own fingers between Ellie's legs. Ellie was leaning on her elbow now, with her hand on the side of Abby's head. When Abby's fingers fell into a particular rhythm Ellie grabbed hold of her hair and they stopped kissing. They were now looking at each other and lost in a haze of labored breathing and ecstasy. It was enough to bring Abby over the edge. Ellie could feel Abby's legs start shaking, so she started moving her fingers still faster. Abby's hand between Ellie's legs stopped moving, and her other hand was squeezing Ellie's thigh. Ellie watched as Abby closed her eyes and thrust her hips against Ellie harder and harder until her back arched upwards, her mouth opened, and she came against Ellie's hand.

After a few seconds Abby opened her eyes and saw Ellie looking at her. Ellie kissed Abby and slowly removed her hand from between her legs. Abby put her hand on Ellie's stomach and pushed her up. Without removing her own hand from between Ellie's legs, she sat up, put her arm around Ellie's waist, and resumed moving her fingers. Ellie sighed, wrapper her arms around Abby's neck, and started rocking back and forth against Abby's hand again. Now that her head was a little bit clearer than it was, Abby noticed the way Ellie was holding onto her. She felt that this woman in front of her, at least in this moment, needed her and was consciously trying to keep her close. Abby started moving her free hand along Ellie's back, down and up her leg, and eventually holding onto her hip. Ellie was close now, and Abby knew it. She began kissing every spot on Ellie's chest she could reach. When she got to her breast, Abby opened her mouth and ran her tongue over Ellie's nipple slowly. Ellie sighed louder and, a few seconds later, she turned Abby's face up towards hers and started kissing her, moving faster and faster on her hand. Then Ellie grabbed onto Abby's back, opened her mouth against Abby's lips and cried out. Abby slowed her movements down, but didn't stop until Ellie stopped moving on top of her.

When they were both still again, Abby removed her hand and put it on Ellie's thigh. Ellie ran her fingers through Abby's hair and kissed her. Then, exhausted, Abby laid back down, and Ellie lowered herself on top of her, moving down until her head was on Abby's chest. Ellie held onto Abby's shoulders and closed her eyes. Abby put one hand on Ellie's head and the other on the back of her neck. The two women stayed there for a long time, neither wanting to let the other go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'kay so truth time. I wrote the sex scene before I wrote anything else. I knew exactly what I wanted them to do, and I have been so excited to work it in. Now, I tried my very hardest to NOT make this absolute smut. This was not easy, but I didn't think smut would fit in with the story I was writing. At least not for their first time..... So let me know what you guys think!


	6. Correlation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A woman: *LITERALLY HAS SEX WITH YOU*
> 
> You, a lesbian: okay but what does that mean?

Ellie yawned and moved to stretch her legs, but couldn't. She blinked open her eyes and turned her head to look out the window. She was alarmed to see the sun up. She couldn't remember the last time she slept past sun rise. She turned her head back and looked over at Abby sleeping next to her. Abby was lying on her side with one leg over Ellie's thighs, and her arm on Ellie's stomach. Ellie was lying on her back with one arm under Abby's neck. With her free hand, Ellie rubbed her eyes and remembered the night before. By the time they eventually got up off the floor, all the lanterns in the room had burned out. They didn't say much to each other, they both just walked over to the bed and lay down. Ellie was trying desperately to make sense of all of this. She thought, maybe this didn't mean anything. Maybe Abby was just desperate and lonely. She couldn't possibly be interested. She hardly ever even looked at her. Was Ellie interested? It did feel like there was something between them that had shifted lately. But that's probably just symptomatic of their history. 

She eventually convinced herself this probably didn't mean anything to Abby. She looked over at her again. They were both still shirtless, and in their underwear. Ellie looked at Abby's stomach; it looked incredibly smooth. Her arms and hands were slightly darker and full of signs of old injuries. But her stomach was pale and flawless. Ellie looked down at her own stomach where the gash in her side had healed, badly. She remembered that first night in Santa Barbara when Abby sewed it shut. There was now a dark red scar there. It felt rough as Ellie ran her fingers over it. Sighing, Ellie laid her hand on Abby's knee. Then, she closed her eyes and absent-mindedly started moving her hand up and down Abby's thigh, memories of the night before coming flooding back. 

A few minutes later Abby's head moved a little bit. Ellie turned her head to look at her. Eyes still closed, Abby tightened her grip on Ellie, then relaxed it again. She opened her eyes and, startled, she put her hand on Ellie's stomach, propped herself up on her elbow and looked out the window. Then she turned and looked down at Ellie lying beneath her. Her shoulder relaxed, but she didn't move her hand. She leaned her head on her shoulder and moved her eyes to the side, then back to Ellie. They were looking at each other, both trying and failing to read the other's expression. Just then there was a knock on the door. They both turned to look in that direction.

"Ellie?" Lev called from the other side of the door, "Have you seen Abby? She's not in her room."

Abby opened her mouth and Ellie immediately put her hand over it.

"I'll be right there!" Ellie called out. 

Both women stayed unmoving, Ellie's hand over Abby's mouth, until they heard Lev's foot steps, walking away and down stairs. Ellie dropped her hand slowly, and they looked at each other again. Abby looked like she was waiting for an explanation.

"What?" Ellie said quietly, "We're naked!"

Abby narrowed her eyes, then laid back down, rolling onto her back. 

"Okay" she said in a sarcastic tone.

"So... we should probably get up."

Abby turned to look at her, but didn't say anything. Ellie got up and walked over to the middle of the floor where her clothes had been left. Her back to Abby, she bent down to pick up her pants and noticed how red her knees were. She poked one of them and flinched, biting her lip. Abby sat up, crossed her legs and leaned her elbows on her knees. She sat and watched Ellie attempt to get dressed quickly. She got her pants on, and was now standing and turning her tank top inside out. Abby could see a few, very faint, scratches on Ellie's back, and she rubbed the back of her neck and looked away for a second. Now dressed, Ellie looked back at Abby once more, and left the room. Abby just sat there. She wasn't sure what kind of reaction that was, but she figured it was just Ellie's penchant for making awkward situations more awkward.

"You forgot your shoes" Abby said under her breath, turning to look back out the window.

Abby wondered what time it could be. Judging by the shadows outside it must be at least 8 o'clock in the morning. It had been so long since Abby slept properly that she felt a little bit lightheaded. The door opened and shut again. Abby's head jerked in response to the noise.

"I forgot my shoes" Ellie said, picking up her shoes and leaving again without looking at her.

\-------------

Abby walked downstairs and called out to Ellie and Lev. No response. She picked up her pistol and a shiv, and walked out the door. She looked left and right, but didn't see either of them. Putting her thumb and middle finger in her mouth, she gave a short, shrill whistle. A second later another whistle came. Abby followed the direction of the noise and came to the playground where Lev was sitting on the monkey bars. She smiled and shielded her eyes from the sun.

"Heard you were looking for me. Whatcha doin'?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, "This place is so cool!"

Abby jumped up to grab hold of the monkey bars. She pulled herself up and brought one leg, then the other, over the bars to sit with Lev.

\------------

Later that afternoon, Abby was walking back towards the green house with an empty plastic drum she found. There was a river not far from the museum, but if they could catch rain water, that would save them some trips. Walking down the dirt road she couldn't help thinking of Ellie. It was possible that she made a mistake last night. Their situation was strange enough before, and this might have made it worse. Ellie did act odd this morning. Maybe she would rather just pretend it never happened. Maybe Abby would rather pretend it never happened. She hadn't given any of it much forethought, and now she worried that she should have. What made her do that? Abby was not an impulsive person, generally, and this was precisely why. Impulses can get you hurt, or hurt someone else. But, there was no way she was alone in feeling the way that she did last night. No one had ever touched her, or looked at her, the way Ellie did. She couldn't have imagined that. She decided this thought process was a waste of time. They would eventually address it and, until then, she just wouldn't think about it.

\--------------

Ellie was on her way back to the house carrying a sack of wet clothes on her shoulder. Washing clothes seemed like the best excuse to leave the house alone. She left with the intention of ignoring this whole situation, and never talking about it again. But, as hard as she tried, she couldn't think of anything else all morning. She told herself over and over that getting emotionally invested in something impossible would only get her hurt. To Ellie, it seemed impossible that Abby could actually be interested in her. After everything they had done to each other, everything she had done, Ellie couldn't imagine anyone being interested in her; especially Abby. She had to then ask herself why it was she was spending so much time considering the possibility that Abby was interested in her. Was she interested in Abby? It's true that her determination to kill her was gone, but it wasn't a thought that had ever crossed her mind before. And why should it? She thought about last night. Abby had seemed so different. Usually she was so serious and reserved. But last night... She hadn't seen her so passionate since the time she tried to kill her in Seattle. And the way she... No... She closed her eyes and shook her head. 

\---------------

For the rest of that afternoon the two didn't talk to each other unless Lev was in the room; and then, only to discuss pragmatic topics. After dinner they all sat in the living room together. Ellie and Lev were sitting on the couch, and Ellie was explaining some trading cards to him one at a time. Abby sat in an arm chair across from them, watching. Every once in a while Ellie would look up and the two women would make eye contact. This was always almost immediately broken by Ellie. Shortly after sunset, Abby started to feel exhausted. Today seemed to drag on forever, and it was becoming more and more evident that Ellie had no interest in talking about what happened; or talking to her at all. She decided, if she was going to sit around not talking, she would prefer to be alone while doing it. She stood up and told the other two she was going upstairs. Ellie and Lev both looked up at her. Lev said goodnight, then went back to looking at the superhero cards. Ellie didn't say anything. So Abby went up to her room and closed the door. She took off her shirt and threw it aside. Then she stood with her hands on her hips, looking around the room. After a minute or two she walked over to her backpack and got out a clean tank top. She put the tank top on, took off her pants, and lay down on the bed. She wasn't tired. She just lay there looking out the window. After about a half hour she could hear Ellie playing guitar downstairs. She put her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. 

Ellie ended up playing two songs for Lev. When he went upstairs, she stayed downstairs alone. For a few minutes she sat with her hand on top of the guitar, and her chin resting on her hand. She wanted to go upstairs. She wanted to go to Abby. But she was determined she shouldn't. She picked her head up and started playing again, quietly.

"Sometimes I feel so happy  
Sometimes I feel so sad  
Sometimes I feel so happy  
But mostly you just make me mad  
Baby you just make me mad"

She stopped. She got up and put the guitar against the wall, then walked out back and got a clean pair of boxer shorts, a pair of socks, and a tee shirt from the line. They were Abby's. She told herself they would be more comfortable to sleep in than her own clothes. After changing her clothes, she considered going upstairs again. But she didn't feel tired. She also knew that, in order to get to her room, she would have to walk past Abby's room. She didn't completely trust herself not to go in, and she didn't want to risk Abby hearing her and coming out. After standing in the middle of the living room for a minute, she picked up her journal, laid down on the red velvet couch and started looking through it. 

\------------------

In the morning Abby walked downstairs and saw Ellie asleep on the couch. She looked at her for a few seconds, then turned and went into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and started eating a bag of expired potato chips. Abby knew why Ellie stayed downstairs last night, and it made her feel a little bit nervous and a little bit irritated at the same time. She heard Lev walking downstairs, and when he got to the last step, he jumped down. Abby saw Ellie jump at the noise. Lev came into the kitchen and sat with Abby. 

"I was thinking, today I could go to the river and catch some fish" Lev said, excitedly.

Abby looked at him with her stern face. It wasn't unheard of for Lev to venture off without them, and Abby did try not to think of him as a small child. He was extremely capable, but she couldn't shake off her over-protective nature.

"I don't know, that's pretty far away" said Ellie, walking into the kitchen and sitting at the table.

"Oh come on," he continued, "it's not that far. And besides, I can take care of myself."

Abby and Ellie looked at each other, then back at him.

"Alright" Abby said, crumpling up the bag in her hands, "But, if anything happens, you whistle as loud as you can."

With a big smile on his face, he ran back upstairs to get his backpack. Abby looked at Ellie. She noticed she was wearing her clothes and raised her eyebrows. Lev came running down, yelled that he would be back, and the door slammed behind him. Abby and Ellie stood up at the same time and walked into each other. 

"Sorry, I was just.."

"No, I was.."

Abby sighed, rolled her eyes, and walked around her to the window above the sink. She opened it so that, if Lev whistled, she would be able to hear it if she was inside. Ellie walked to the cabinets to see what kind of food was inside. When Abby turned around, Ellie was still facing the cabinets, fiddling with something in her hands, and it didn't seem like she was going to turn around any time soon. Abby walked around the other side of the table to leave the room and then stopped when she got to the entry way. She had originally planned to let Ellie bring it up if she wanted to. After all, she was the one who started it, and it was Ellie who seemed to be having a crisis about it. But as she went to exit the room, she imagined life like this for another day, or another week, or indefinitely. After months together, they had finally move past their awkward avoidance phase, and Abby wasn't going to let that be taken away from her just because Ellie wanted to avoid confrontation. She turned around to look at her. 

"So are we going to talk about it?"

Ellie put down whatever she was holding and put her hands on the counter. She wasn't sure she did want to talk about it. She didn't know what, if anything, was going on between them. But she knew that whatever they didn't know couldn't hurt them. She half-turned her head.

"Talk about what?" 

Now Abby was irritated. 

"Okay" she said, turning again and walking away.

Ellie closed her eyes and tapped the counter top with her knuckles for a few seconds.

"Wait" she called out, shaking her head. 

Abby came back around the corner and leaned against the empty door frame with her arms crossed. Ellie turned around slowly and leaned against the counter. She looked at Abby. She looked... impatient. This didn't help Ellie to decipher what her thoughts on the situation were, and she was afraid to give hers first. They stood there for a few seconds before Ellie cleared her throat and said,

"So, you wanted to talk about it."

Abby shook her head and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before responding.

"And you don't? After everything that happened... you just show up after a year and a half, with no explanation... We apparently both decided we're just going to ignore what happened between us in the past," Abby was starting to raise her voice, and talk much faster, "So... we can't talk about anything, we can't look at each other... You're just... here... wearing my clothes. I'm sick of having to act like... anything. I shouldn't have to act like anything, and neither should you. It's stupid... And then, the other night..."

"I came to Santa Barbara to kill you" Ellie interrupted loudly.

Abby blinked, taken aback by finally hearing her say it out loud. She took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I figured that out"

Now Ellie was taken aback. She was so consumed with pretending nothing ever happened that she never considered what it might look like to someone on the outside. Ellie walked over and sat on top of the table, with her feet on a chair. She put her face in her hands for a second before looking at Abby again. Of course this was her response. Ellie felt so stupid. Abby sounded so angry, and Ellie didn't really know what she could say to her that would make any sense.

"But, you didn't. And then the other night..."

"It's fine," Ellie interrupted, "we don't have to make a big deal about it. We just... I don't know, hate-fucked each other or something. We can just leave it at that."

Abby uncrossed her arms and stood up straight. She stared at Ellie for a long time. Whatever reaction she thought Ellie was having, this wasn't it. Abby supposed she was attacking her a little bit. She didn't mean to be. She was just so frustrated, and her temper tended to get the better of her sometimes. Ellie was holding her hands and looking at the floor now. Abby took one step into the room.

"I don't hate you" Abby said, in a softer voice.

Ellie looked at her, confused. Now she really wasn't sure what was going on, and her emotions were coming to a boiling point. All of her guilt and hurt was resurfacing; and on top of everything else, she was feeling like she had fucked her life up all over again. 

"Maybe you should" Ellie said, bluntly.

Abby narrowed her eyes. She took a moment to consider that. 

"Do you hate me?"

Ellie looked into Abby's eyes. She didn't hate her. She didn't feel like she had it in her to hate anyone anymore. She shook her head. Abby nodded. Then she walked over to the table, pulled the chair Ellie's feet were on out, and sat down in front of her. Ellie let her legs fall down. 

"Why did you cut me down on the beach?"

Ellie hadn't really even asked herself this question yet. She thought about it for a minute. At the time she thought she was just too drained to go through with it. Then, after everything that happened in the following days, it began to seem impossible to go through with it. But it was more than that. What she hadn't realized until the last few days was that Abby had become a different person to her. She wasn't the same woman she saw holding that golf club. The woman she had been dreaming of and obsessing over for 2 years was dead. She stopped fidgeting with her hands, and placed them on the edge of the table on either side of her legs. 

"You just... didn't seem like the person I was looking for."

Abby seemed thrown by that answer. It occurred to her at that moment that they had a lot more in common than either of them could have imagined. This whole time, she had been so confused about why she couldn't seem to hate Ellie. She realized now that it was because Ellie didn't seem like the person she had imagined either. Maybe they both had changed since the last time they met.

"Well," Abby said quietly, "I don't think the person I met in Seattle would have done that."

Ellie let out a small nervous laugh and looked away. She didn't feel like a changed person. But Abby sounded so sincere that she couldn't form a proper argument in her head. Abby pulled the chair in closer to the table, put her hands on the back of Ellie's ankles, and said, 

"I don't want to pretend the other night didn't happen."

Ellie looked back at her. At first she thought she must have misheard. But Abby didn't blink, or continue talking. A wave of relief rushed over Ellie. She had spent so much time assuming Abby must think of her as an enemy that she never considered the possibility she might be wrong. She looked at Abby's face. She looked beautiful. The sun was coming in through the window, making her eyes even brighter than usual. Her blond hair was about two inches longer now. It was usually pushed back, but just now it was falling over her forehead. Ellie put her fingers in it and pushed it back. 

"I don't want to either."

They looked at each other for a moment, both taking in the implications of what they had just said. Ellie felt like she had jumped out of a speeding car, and only just stopped rolling. She felt so relieved that she couldn't help but smile a little. Abby smiled back at her and moved her hands up to the back of Ellie's calves. 

"Okay then," Abby said, "no more pretending"

Ellie nodded, still smiling. She couldn't believe what was happening. On one hand, she was glad that they had gotten their feelings out. On the other, she was terrified. This was just the first step. Ellie was uneasy about not knowing what to expect, and she didn't think she could take getting hurt anymore.

"This is fucking crazy. I mean you know that right?" 

Abby crossed her arms over Ellie's legs and rested her chin on her arms. Ellie put one hand on Abby's head. This might be crazy. But she didn't care. Abby had never been afraid of a challenge. This situation might be a different kind of challenge than she was used to dealing with. But, being with Ellie felt good. And that was something worth fighting for. 

"I'm sure we'll figure it out"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, when I started working on this, my intention was to get them together and that was it; the beginning is the end. What do you guys think? Should we leave them where they are or keep this going a while longer?


	7. Inception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lev get in here your mother and I need to talk to you"
> 
> (Okay, so I guess I'm just not doing actual summaries anymore)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asked and answered. Let's see where we can go with this!

Lev crouched low and slowly stepped out from behind the office door. The whole apartment had gone quiet. Swiftly, he went from behind the door to the back of an upturned table in the living room. He held his bow taught and lifted his head to see what was happening. Ellie looked back at him from her spot behind a couch, next to a dead clicker. She put her finger over her mouth, then pointed in the direction of the kitchen. Abby was crouched behind the island in the middle of the room with her knife up, and one of the infected was walking from the bedroom into the kitchen. Abby held her breath and listened. She could hear the infected coming towards her, and she started moving slowly around the island in the opposite direction. Ellie leaned over the couch to try and shoot, but the infected looked in her direction, and she quickly ducked back behind the couch, shaking her head at Lev. Abby made it around the island and started sneaking up behind the groaning man. But before she was close enough she stepped on some broken glass that was on the floor and the infected turned and ran into her, knocking her onto her back. Before she could react there was an arrow in his head, and he fell over in front of her. Ellie and Lev came running over and both let out a sigh of relief.

"I think that's the last one" Lev said, looking around.

"What happened?" Ellie asked with an arm extended.

Abby took her hand and got up, wincing.

"Fucking glass."

Ellie looked down at the ground and could see there was a lot of glass on the floor. She put her hands on Abby's shoulders and turned her around. There was a shard about two inches long sticking out of the back of her right shoulder. She and Lev looked at each other.

"What?" Abby asked, trying to turn back around.

Ellie put her hands back on her shoulders and kept her facing away from them. She looked around and picked up a rag that was lying on the kitchen counter. She crumpled up the rag in her right hand and put her left arm around Abby's stomach. Abby turned her head to the left to look at Ellie's face.

"Kiss me"

Abby looked at her suspiciously, but Ellie just smiled. Never taking her eyes off of her, Abby turned her head more and kissed her. Just then Ellie wrapped the rag around the glass and pulled it out of Abby's shoulder. Abby screamed, bit her lip, and smacked Ellie's arm. 

"What the hell was that?" Abby cried.

"I just wanted to get a kiss before you hit me"

Lev started laughing. Abby turned around and looked at him. He put his hands up and left the room to look around, still laughing.

"You're both hilarious" Abby said, facing Ellie.

"Oh come on, it's not even that bad" Ellie said, holding up the piece of glass, "now turn around at let me see."

Abby didn't move. Ellie set the shard down and put her hands on Abby's hips, turning her around again. She pulled the neck of Abby's tee shirt down over her right shoulder. There was a cut about an inch long, and the glass had only gone a few centimeters deep. 

"Stay" Ellie said, setting her backpack on the island and getting out a needle. 

Abby stood still, but turned her head. She saw Ellie getting out a needle and thread, and she relaxed. 

"You know, this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my dumb hair"

"What's wrong with your hair?" Ellie asked, threading the needle. Then, in a lower tone of voice, "I like it."

Abby smiled.

"It just always gets in my face and I can't see"

"Oh!" Ellie said, putting down the needle, "That reminds me, I found something for you."

Abby turned around. Ellie was reaching for something in her back pocket. She pulled out a small elastic hair tie.

"It's still too short to fit"

"Well," Ellie started, turning Abby around again, "not all of it, maybe."

Ellie reached around and pulled the top section of Abby's hair back, tying it into an, admittedly small, pony tail.

"There. See? Now it won't be in your face"

Ellie picked up the needle again and started sewing the cut shut. Abby smiled again. Ellie had a way of making Abby feel cared for that she had never really felt before. She never thought of herself as a person who would need, or want, anyone to take care of anything for them. But whenever Ellie did something for her like sew up a cut, or set a broken finger, or rub a sore muscle, or even find a hair tie for her, she seemed so genuinely concerned; and it was nice. Maybe it was because Abby never needed help that she liked it so much. Ellie and Abby both knew that Abby didn't tend to need help, so when Ellie did help her, it was just because she wanted to.

"Thank you"

Ellie wiped Abby's shoulder off and kissed it before pulling her shirt back up.

"You're welcome."

The three of them continued searching around the empty apartment building, taking anything useful they could find. They had been staying at the green museum house for about three months. It was quiet, comfortable, and relatively isolated. But, this also meant they didn't leave the property much, as it would take at least a day to get anywhere and back. Currently they were in a small metropolitan area about two days' walk from the museum. All three of them had been wanting to get out, just to see some different things, for a while. But now they were all in need of some new clothes, and when they came across the apartment building they knew it would be the perfect place to find some.

It wasn't often that they came across infected nowadays, but after several months together the three of them had fallen into a rhythm. They often employed close combat when they could afford to in order to spare ammunition. But whenever something went wrong, or someone was caught out, Lev was so quick with his bow that it was rarely problematic. The apartment building had proven to be even more useful than they originally thought. It wasn't in nearly as bad of shape as most buildings they found. There was some structural damage, but not very much. This left many of the apartments clear of weather damage, and a lot of the items they found were in decent to good shape. They decided after clearing out the building that it would be a good place to spend the night. 

The three split up and started checking out apartments. They were currently on the fourth floor. Abby opened apartment 0451 and began looking around. All of the infected they had found were mostly on the first or second floor, and this was the first apartment she found that didn't have any dead bodies in it. The living room had a large blue L-shaped sofa in front of an entertainment center. Beneath the television was a game system Abby recognized from the stadium. She picked up a couple of the boxes lying next to it. She looked closely at of them. It featured a man hanging over some kind of cliff. It said "Uncharted 2". Abby had heard Ellie talk about this one before. Abby had never been interested in video games, but she did find it amusing to hear Ellie talk about them. She put the cases down and walked into the bedroom. It had a double bed, two nightstands, a chest of drawers, and a small closet. On the nightstand was a small picture frame. Abby picked it up and looked at it. It was a photograph of a man and a small boy in front of a waterfall. "Niagara Falls" was written in red, cartoonish letters across the bottom. Abby smiled and put it down. She walked back out into the living room and called out,

"Hey, I think I found a decent one in here!"

"You know, we could pick our own apartments! " Lev called out from the hallway.

"No!" Abby and Ellie yelled at the same time.

"You guys know there's nothing in writing that says I have to listen to you right?"

Ellie laughed and covered her mouth. Abby slowly walked out into the hallway. Lev was wearing a large Manchester United jersey and a red and white Nike hat. As Abby stepped out in front of him, he stopped fiddling with the hole punch in his hands. 

"You're welcome to try me" Abby said with her arms crossed.

Lev looked at her. She might be smaller than she used to be, but her tall, muscular frame was still imposing. He smiled.

"Kidding" he said, handing her the hole punch and walking past her into the apartment.

Ellie came out of the last apartment at the end of the hallway and started walking towards Abby. She was still standing with her arms crossed, holding the hole punch in one hand. She turned and looked at Ellie approaching with a bundle of clothes under her arm. When she got next to Abby she looked down at the hole punch, then back up at her face. She leaned in and said, very quietly,

"I'm sure you could've taken him" and she walked inside.

Abby looked down at the hole punch, dropped her arms and went inside. 

\------------

They found so many batteries throughout the building that Ellie had to clear out space in her backpack to fit them all in. She took 4 and put them inside a large camping lantern. Once on, the whole living room was well-lit. Ellie sat down on the blue couch with Lev, looking down at the clothes she had put on. She was wearing sweat pants for the first time in what felt like forever. They were dark grey with a drawstring around the waist. Her tee shirt was white and had the outline of Janis Joplin on it. The outfit was so soft that she couldn't stop looking at it and touching it. Lev had changed into a pair of black, grey, and white plaid sweat pants and a dark green hoodie. They looked at each other and smiled. The door to the bedroom opened and they both looked over. Abby came out in navy blue Adidas sweat pants, with three white stripes down the sides, and a sleeveless blue shirt. 

"Well?" she said holding her arms out.

"Very cool" Lev said.

Abby looked at Ellie. Ellie had her eyes on Abby's legs and was moving them slowly upwards. She met Abby's eyes, raised her eyebrows and nodded. Abby looked at Lev, who was already looking back down at his hoodie with his hands in the pocket. She looked back at Ellie and smiled, then walked over and sat with them on the couch. For the rest of the evening the three took turns reading aloud from a copy of Dagon and Other Macabre Tales they found in the apartment. Abby and Ellie told Lev that the couch would be big enough for both of them and that he was free to take the bedroom for the night. He didn't argue. He closed the door and the two women looked at each other. Abby was sitting back against the corner of the couch, and she opened her arms. Ellie moved over and laid back against Abby in between her legs. Abby put her arms around Ellie and Ellie put her arms around Abby's knees. 

"You're a good sport" Ellie said.

"Hey, I'll have you know I had the whole Lovecraft collection back in Seattle."

This surprised Ellie.

"Really? You had time to read in between bench presses?"

"I did. And... you know I can still break you in half right?" Abby said, tightening her grip on Ellie.

Ellie leaned her head backwards on Abby's chest. Abby bent over and kissed her. Then she turned her head to the side and put her hands on Abby's forearms over her chest.

"You ever miss it?"

"What, WLF?" 

"Just... everything. Seattle, a normal place to live, normal food..."

"No," Abby said matter-of-factly, "the cons definitely outweighed the pros. Do you miss Jackson?"

"Not really. I don't think I was meant to live a quiet life."

For a little while they didn't say anything else. They didn't often talk about Jackson or Seattle. It wasn't really a point of contention anymore, but it also wasn't the most pleasant topic for either of them to think about. So they just stayed like that for an hour or so. Then Ellie sat up and turned off the lantern. Abby moved down to lay on her side, and Ellie laid down in front of her. They put their arms around each other and kissed. Abby closed her eyes but Ellie kept looking at her in the moon light. It seemed like she was always learning new things about Abby that she never would have guessed, and she liked everything that she learned. She thought back to their first night together in Santa Barbara, and how convinced she had been that she had made a mistake by getting on that yacht. She couldn't imagine what she would have done differently, or what she might be doing now, if she hadn't.

"Why did you come to California?" she asked.

Without opening her eyes, Abby licked her lips and took a breath, then answered,

"I was following a lead on the Fireflies."

"And it was no good?"

"I don't know"

Ellie understood. Those ass holes must have found her in Santa Barbara before she got where she was going. Ellie often wondered if there were any Fireflies left. She used to promise herself that if she ever came across any she would throw herself at them and beg them to try to create a vaccine again. She wasn't sure it was even possible anymore. But, what happened still haunted her to this day.

"And," Ellie went on, quieter, "you never wanted to keep looking? After...?"

Abby opened her eyes. She was a little bit surprised to hear Ellie pressing the subject. 

"No, I didn't." 

"Because," Ellie continued again, "we could still..."

"No" Abby interrupted.

It wasn't so much something Abby had her heart set on at the time as it was a viable option. Now she couldn't imagine going back. After what happened in Santa Barbara she was just happy to be alive. And now she had Ellie. Abby didn't know exactly what would happen if she brought her anywhere near the Fireflies, and she didn't want to find out. Ellie decided to let the topic go. 

"Okay" she said, rubbing Abby's back.

They looked at each other for another minute, and then both women closed their eyes and fell asleep.


	8. Traction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening

The sun had begun to rise, and soft light was filling up the room. Lev blinked his eyes open, stretched and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat up and looked out the window onto the street below. Past the fire escape he could see a line of birds sitting on street lamps, roofs and drooping electrical lines. He turned, putting his feet on the floor and reaching for his new pair of trainers. He listened for a moment, and didn't hear any noise in the apartment. Slowly he walked to the bedroom door and turned the handle. When he stepped out he looked over at the blue couch. Ellie was lying on her back with one arm behind her head and one hanging off the edge of the couch, and Abby was lying on her side with her chin on Ellie's shoulder. Lev smiled and walked quietly past them to the door of the apartment. He turned the knob slowly, looked behind him again, then walked out and closed the door.

"What was that?" Abby said, still half-asleep.

"Lev snuck out"

Neither of them moved. Then, after a minute, Abby opened her eyes, kissed Ellie's neck, and closed them again. Ellie put her arm around Abby and let her head fall to the side. Just then Abby sat up and Ellie opened her eyes.

"Lev left? Where did he go?"

"I don't know, probably just looking around the apartments."

Abby turned over and started to get up. She put one leg over Ellie, and before she could bring the other one over, Ellie grabbed onto it, holding her in place on top of her.

"What are you doing?"

"I've gotta go see where he is!"

"No you don't" Ellie said, taking hold of Abby's other leg, "We are in a locked apartment building, and he's like 15 years old. What were you doing when you were 15?"

Abby looked towards the door, then back down at Ellie. She supposed she was right. It wasn't like he disappeared into the woods. But, in addition to always being worried about Lev, Abby was prone to nervousness when first waking up; particularly when she would wake up in unfamiliar locations. Sometimes, for a few minutes, she couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone wrong. Most mornings were fine, but Ellie had gotten used to Abby's panics. They were usually accompanied by a bad dream, and they didn't last long. When Abby's shoulders relaxed, Ellie loosened her grip on Abby's thighs and moved her hands up to her waist. Abby sat back and pushed her hair out of her face. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly, opening her eyes again.

Ellie smiled at her, put her pointer fingers under Abby's waistband and ran her fingers around her waist. Abby leaned forwards onto her elbows and her hair fell in her face again. She smiled and turned her head to the side. Ellie put her fingers through Abby's hair and held it back. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. The feeling they got from looking at each other was something that both women found equally enthralling. They had spent so long avoiding looking at each other that it still sometimes felt almost illicit. Abby put her forehead against Ellie's, then tilted her head and kissed her. Ellie held onto the back of Abby's head and pulled her close. Abby's lips were so soft, and the feeling of her body pressed against hers was so rousing, that when their mouths opened and Abby ran her tongue across hers Ellie moaned and pressed her pelvis against Abby's.

"You'd better stop that before he comes back in here" Abby said, biting Ellie's lower lip.

"You're the one who started this"

Abby smiled and pulled her head back a little.

"I didn't realize you were so easy"

Ellie laughed and let go of Abby's hair. Abby tilted her head and pushed it to one side. Still smiling, she kissed Ellie's neck and pushed herself upright. She turned and sat against the back of the couch with her legs over Ellie's and took the hair tie from around her wrist. Ellie put her hands behind her head and watched her tie back as much hair as she could. Ellie had never asked about her hair, but it was evident that cutting it off was not her choice. By now it had grown out about 6 or 7 inches, and Abby seemed happy to get at least some of it into the hair tie. Over the last year Ellie hadn't paid much attention to her own hair. When it got long, she would just cut it herself. This resulted in uneven lengths, which didn't bother her. She hadn't cut it in a couple of months, so it was well below her shoulders at the back, and below her ears at the front. Abby seemed to like Ellie's hair, at whatever length it happened to be. She was always pushing it out of Ellie's face when they were out, and running her hands through it and playing with it when they were alone together. In fact, Abby liked a lot of little seemingly inconsequential things about Ellie that she had never noticed on anyone else. In addition to her hair, Abby spent a lot of time touching, and looking at, Ellie's hands, which were much smaller than her own; and Ellie liked every part of Abby.

"You're so pretty" Ellie said, still staring at Abby.

Abby turned her head toward's her. It must have been at least 6 years since anyone said anything like that to her. Ellie smiled. Abby bit her cheek to stifle a smile. She shook her head and looked away for a second, then back at Ellie.

"Shut up"

Ellie sat up next to her and put her hands on Abby's thigh.

"You are."

Now Abby did smile, and she turned her head away from Ellie. Ellie put her fingers on Abby's jaw, turned her head back, and kissed her. Just then the door opened and Lev came back in. They both turned their heads to the door. Lev had a smile on his face and a blanket full of stuff over his shoulder.

"Miss me?"

"Were you gone?" Ellie said with a furrowed brow.

Abby laughed, then squeezed Ellie's hand and got up.

\------------------

The three spent the morning discussing what they would do next. They left the museum with the intention of finding new clothes, and they had done that; they found more clothes than they could possibly carry. In the end, they decided they would each put on one outfit, and put several extras aside to carry home. At first no one was willing to say it outloud, but eventually they all admitted they weren't in a hurry to get back to the green house. They had only left two days ago, and making the journey back to the museum so soon wasn't what they had anticipated. So they decided instead to continue walking in the same, generally northward, direction they had been taking so as not to get lost on the way back. When it came time to change out of their comfortable clothes they all grumbled. But, the nights were getting colder, and being outside in the elements for a potentially extended period of time meant they had to. Ellie put on a pair of black jeans, black boots, a white tee shirt and a green and white plaid flannel. She also found a tan corduroy jacket that she put into her backpack. Lev put on a pair of brown cotton khaki pants, brown boots, and a white, long-sleeved shirt with black stripes on the sleeves. He kept the green hoodie and put it into his bag. Abby put on thick, grey gargo pants, tan, ankle-high boots, and a black, long-sleeve tee shirt under a blue, short-sleeve tee shirt. She found a weather-proof black jacket and put it into her own backpack. They decided to leave the rest of the clothes in the building, and get them on the way back. They put everything they would need into their backpacks, checked their weapons, and left.

For about two more days they saw nothing but hills. They were about to turn back when they got to the top of one and saw something unusual. A massive forest full of gigantic trees. Looking from east to west, they couldn't see where it began or where it ended. It was striking, and wildly different than anything they had seen since leaving the museum. So they decided to go there. When they got up close, it was evident that the trees were even more gigantic than they thought. You couldn't even see the tops of most of them if you stood at the base which, on a lot of them, was bigger than a van. There were old, mostly-rotted, wooden paths along the ground and fallen signs with trail numbers and arrows. After walking through the forest for an hour or so they came across a still standing sign that had "Sequoia National Park" written on it in white paint.

"Oh!" Ellie snapped her fingers, "This must where that famous tree is! I read about it in an old magazine."

"What's a magazine?" Lev asked.

"It's like a book" Abby answered, still looking up at the trees, "but skinnier."

They walked around through the massive trees for a little over an hour. They passed more animals than any of them had seen in months. They saw deer, antelope, and dozens of squirrels. Abby stuck her arms out and stopped the other two when she spotted a small, grey animal with its back to them a few meters away. It was a racoon. They all watched it, waiting to see if it would turn around. The woods were silent except for the animal, which seemed to be digging something out of the ground. After a few minutes a small, dead branch fell out of one of the trees in front of it, and the little animal turned and ran as fast as it could right past the three. They all jumped, and then laughed.

Eventually they came across what looked like a small mountain side. Following along the stone wall they found an entrance with steps going down.

"This looks sketchy" Abby said, "we should leave it."

Ellie, already with one foot on the first step turned around.

"Sure" she said, backing up one step at a time, "or... we could keep going"

Lev looked at Abby and smiled, then went down the steps after Ellie. Abby sighed, turned on her flashlight, and followed them. When she made it to the bottom of the narrow stair case she saw Lev and Ellie looking at something. It was a plaque. It said "Crystal Cave. 1918 - Discovered by A.L. Medley and C.M. Webster. Named by Walter Fry". They walked through the cave entrance. The walls and ceiling looked like melted candle wax frozen in place. Lev put his hand on the bumpy walls. It was rock hard, cold and wet. Just then a draft came through the passageway, and the three realized it was freezing down there. They all took out their jackets and buttoned them all the way up. Past the entryway was an old wooden bridge across a pool of crystal clear blue water. Abby didn't like it. Ellie and Lev were already on the bridge, looking over into the water. Ellie turned around and saw that Abby wasn't following them. So she turned around and walked back over to her.

"What's wrong?"

"I just like solid ground" Abby said, with her head down, "I don't want to be above it, and I don't particularly want to be below it either."

Ellie could tell she was quite uncomfortable. As badly as she wanted to see what was in the cave, it wasn't worth seeing Abby like this. So she put her hand on Abby's arm and bent her head down until Abby looked at her.

"Okay, we can go"

Ellie smiled. Abby took a deep breath and nodded. Ellie turned around and saw that Lev was gone. Panic hit her like a truck. Abby looked past Ellie to see what she was looking at, and they both stood frozen for a moment.

"Guys!" Lev called.

Abby and Ellie looked at each other, turned, and ran across the bridge. When they got to the end, they stumbled on the new, uneven ground. They stopped and caught their breath for a second when they saw Lev, standing just past the bridge with his mouth open. They turned their flashlights to see what he was looking at. The entire room was filled with giant, clear crystals from the ground to the ceiling. Just past the crystals, the walls were lined with blue, black and red angular formations jutting out.

"Wow" Abby said, looking around.

It was the most incredible thing any of them had ever seen in person.

"What are these things?" Lev asked.

"Speleothems" Ellie answered, without looking up.

"Ofcourse you know that" Abby said.

They all walked carefully around the massive formations, the light from their flashlights refracting through the crystals onto the walls of the cave. None of them spoke. The only sounds were the dripping of water and the echo of their boots against the rough, hard marble they walked on. Ellie stepped through a narrow gap in the wall into the next chamber of the cave. She could just make out light in the distance. She stepped back through and looked at Abby. She still seemed mesmerized by the formations. Ellie walked up behind her, put her chin on Abby's shoulder and said, quietly,

"It looks like there's a way out through there. You good to keep going?"

Abby looked at the gap, then put her head against Ellie's head.

"Yeah"

Ellie took Abby's hand, and the three walked towards the light. They passed even more walls lined with colofrul mineral deposits and fossils embedded within. They made it to the other end in about 20 minutes. Once outside, Abby let out a deep breath. It wasn't an experience she was in a hurry to have again, but she was glad she got to see it. Once outside again, they could see what looked like a lodge a little ways off, with a mountain range behind it. The lodge had a large concrete pathway leading up to it, and pillars made of stone flanking the entrance. The building itself was made of massive logs, and it had a wooden deck with tables off the side. Ellie went to open the door but it was stuck. She wiped off a window with her sleeve and looked in with her flashlight.

"Spores" she said with her face pressed up against the window.

"Well" Abby started, "do we need to go in there?"

"We have to!" Lev said, "Everything here is so cool, we've got to at least look around."

Ellie didn't say anything. She felt a little bit bad about the cave, so she wasn't interested in pushing Abby's buttons anymore today. Abby thought about it for a few seconds. She couldn't think of a valid reason she could give against going in. So she rubbed her eyes and conceded.

"Alright. Get your mask on"

Lev took his bag off one shoulder and pulled his mask out. Abby set her bag down on the ground and opened it. Ellie stood, still looking in through the windows. She couldn't see any movement, but the building was pretty large. She turned around after a few seconds and Lev was standing and staring at her.

"Come on, get your mask on and let's go in!"

Ellie looked at him for a second, then at Abby. Abby was looking in her backpack. Ellie looked back at Lev and opened her mouth to say something, but Abby got up and handed her a mask.

"I had yours in my bag" she said, looking very serious.

Ellie looked at her and closed her mouth. Confused, she took the mask without taking her eyes off Abby. But Abby just looked away and put her own mask on. Ellie turned around to face the door again, puzzled. Lev didn't know about her immunity. Abby must have never told him who she was. Why? And what difference did it make now? Ellie wasn't sure what to make of the situation. She just put the mask on, and waited at the door. Abby came over and put her hands on the door. Without turning her head, Ellie put her hands on the door, and they pushed.

\--------------

By the time they cleared out the main building it was dark. Fortunately this was just a welcome center. Beyond were dozens of empty cabins. They picked the cleanest one they could find to spend the night in. It was made entirely out of wooden logs inside and out, even the furniture. There were two bedrooms, a living room and a small kitchen. After looking around they all set down their bags, and Abby went back out the door.

"I'm gonna get some wood for a fire"

"Okay" Lev said taking his flashlight and walking towards the bedrooms.

Ellie put her hands on her hips and looked out the door. She and Abby hadn't spoken since they got to the main building. After a few seconds, she bent over, took her own flashlight off her backpack and went into the kitchen to look around. One cabinet door was falling off its hinges, and the range coils had rusted. Otherwise, apart from dust and dirt, it was fine. The cabinets were filled with ceramic cups and plates, and the drawers had a few pieces of silverware left inside. It seemed like they had found a place that was largely unaffected here. The door closed and she turned around. Abby came back in with a bundle of wood in her arms and went to the fireplace. Ellie walked over to the door, locked it, and shoved a chair under the handle. She watched Abby get the fire going without saying anything. The feeling between them had become awkward. Ellie wasn't really sure what to say to Abby, but she didn't want to figure it out while Lev was around.

The three sat on the couch by the fire for the rest of the evening, Abby occasionally getting up to tend to it. Ellie hadn't brought her guitar, so Lev asked if he could listen to her casette player. She handed it to him, he offered Abby an ear bud, and she declined. So, he sat listening to music while Abby and Ellie just watched the fire. After he went into one of the rooms to sleep and closed the door, Abby and Ellie stayed staring at the fire silently for 20 or so minutes. Eventually Ellie convinced herself that this wasn't something she should be mad about, which she originally had been. As long as she could remember, people told her to hide her immunity. Every time Joel made her put on a mask she would become inwardly, and sometimes outwardly, irritated. She wasn't exactly sure why; maybe it was a symptom of her survivor's guilt, or of suspecting she was being lied to about it. Maybe she just didn't like being told what to do, especially when it seemed ridiculous to her. Whatever the reason, she had gotten over her initial shock at being handed a mask after so long and calmed down.

"So" she said, and then turned to look at Abby.

Abby turned to look at Ellie.

"So"

Ellie had expected her to give an explanation. But it didn't seem like she was going to just offer one. Ellie narrowed her eyes, and tried to pick her words carefully.

"So... what was that?"

Abby looked back at the fire.

"Lev doesn't know"

They were both speaking very quietly. It was apparent that Abby didn't want to stay on this topic, but it wasn't something Ellie could ignore.

"Okay. But why not?"

"I never told him"

Ellie turned her body towards Abby and put her elbow on the back of the couch, resting her head on her hand.

"Yeah. I got that part. But what difference would it make?"

Abby didn't answer. She just kept staring at the fire and shook her head. Now Ellie was starting to feel a little bit irritated. Having to do something she didn't want to do for a stupid reason was one thing, but having to do something she didn't want to for no reason at all was out of the question.

"Look" Ellie started, raising her voice slightly, "if you're not going to talk to me..."

"It's not my favorite topic to talk about" Abby interrupted even louder.

She turned and looked down the hallway, then back at Ellie. Then she stood up and walked over to the door. Picking up her jacket, she nodded towards the door and opened it. Ellie got up, got her jacket and followed Abby outside. Abby closed the door quietly and they walked a few meters from the cabin. It was cold outside, so they both stood with their arms crossed, facing each other.

"Lev doesn't know anything about my past before WLF, other than the fact that I was a firefly. And all he knows about you is... what happened in Seattle."

Ellie shifted uncomfortably.

"I never talked about you to him because it would have taken a lot of explanation that I didn't feel like giving. Okay?"

"No. That doesn't answer my question. I asked what difference it would make if he knew now."

"I don't want him to know."

Ellie didn't know how to feel about this. On one hand, it wasn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. On the other, not only could she not understand what it could matter, but she was beginning to feel annoyed that someone was asking her to lie again.

"Well" Ellie said after a minute, "that's not up to you. Unless you can give me a reasonable answer as to what Lev knowing could hurt, I'm not doing that again."

They were starting to approach dodgy territory, and they both knew it. Abby put her hands in her jacket pocket.

"It's not Lev that I'm..." Abby paused and dug her foot in the ground, "I just don't think it's a good idea for anyone to know."

"Why?" Ellie said loudly and slowly.

"Because it's unique" Abby said even louder, "you don't know what people might do if they found out."

"And you do? What could they do?"

Abby shook her head and started walking further away from the cabin. Ellie followed her and continued talking,

"Look, I'm sorry about your dad"

Abby kept walking, so Ellie kept walking behind her.

"I really am. But, what are the chances there's someone out there more pissed off about that than you were?"

"It's not about that" Abby said with her head turned.

"Then what is it? Why should you care so much about this? I don't."

Abby stopped walking abruptly and Ellie almost bumped into her. She turned around to face her.

"That's because you weren't there!"

Abby looked like she was about to either scream or cry. Ellie couldn't tell which. She just stood there waiting for her to continue.

"Not really. I was there. In the hospital, the day they brought you in, I was there."

Ellie's immediate reaction was to lash out. She had never been able to fully forgive Joel for what he did that day. It had haunted her for years, and she felt automatically defensive hearing Abby bring it up. But, she never knew Abby had been there. Maybe it was ignorant to have assumed otherwise. She didn't want to get into a debate over who got hurt more. So she took a breath and crossed her arms again, remaining silent.

"They were going to kill you, without even asking. A room full of reasonable people agreed that killing you as quickly as they could was the right thing to do. I thought it was the right thing to do..."

Ellie's head recoiled. She had wished so many times that they had killed her that day. Maybe they could have developed a vaccine, maybe not. But at least her life would have meant something. Still, it was something of a shock to hear Abby talk about it like this. Abby sighed and continued,

"...what do you think unreasonable people might do?"

"I don't know what unreasonable people might do," Ellie said with raised eyebrows, "But I don't see why you, or I, should concern ourselves with..."

"I'm concerned" Abby interrupted loudly, "because I don't want to lose you."

Ellie felt like she had just been slapped across the chest. There was still a part of her that, until now, never really believed Abby could have feelings for her. They had been involved for about four months, but they hadn't exactly expressed any romantic feelings to each other; not in so many words. Abby felt just as surprised as Ellie that that just came out of her mouth. In the beginning she decided that being with Ellie felt good, and she tried not to over-analyze it. But she had real feelings for Ellie now. Abby had lost so much in her life. She was finally living something of a normal life, with someone she cared about more than she thought she could ever care for someone else again, and she was terrified of losing her. Abby's eyes started to water, and one tear ran down the side of her face. She bit her tongue and turned around. Ellie stood frozen for a second. She had spent so long being angry about her immunity, angry at Joel, guilty about her survival, angry about her guilt, and angry at everything that ever stemmed from all of it, that she never really considered how it might affect people close to her. It was always more of a personal burden she felt she was stuck with. Maybe she's just been selfish. She walked around and stood in front of Abby. Abby wiped her face with her hand and looked at Ellie, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm sorry. I didn't..." Ellie's voice cracked. She cleared her throat and continued, "I was just hung up about..." she sighed and shook her head, "I don't know what I was hung up about. I'm sorry."

Abby nodded and looked away, trying to regain her composure. Ellie looked at her face. She hadn't admitted to herself, until this moment, how much Abby had come to mean to her. She didn't want to lose her either. It seemed they both mistrusted happiness, and were afraid of losing what they had. But Ellie was more afraid of ending up alone. She didn't want to continue being angry at the world, and she didn't want to fight her feelings anymore.

"Abby"

Abby turned her eyes back to Ellie. Ellie stepped closer and took a breath.

"I love you"

Abby turned her head and stared. Ellie didn't take her eyes off of her. Abby blinked and opened her mouth.

"I love you too"

Ellie let out a nervous laugh and then covered her mouth. They stood looking at each other for a second. Then Abby wiped her face again, grabbed Ellie's jacket and pulled her into her. Ellie put her arms around Abby's waist. Abby put her arms around Ellie's neck and put her hand on the back of her head. They both closed their eyes and exhaled. Both women had been denying themselves so much for so long for fear of developing a weakness. There was also some part of both of them that thought, given their history, this couldn't possibly last. So it only seemed logical to close themselves off a bit. But, with every day that passed they became closer, and differences started to appear much smaller than similarities. It wasn't just admitting their own feelings towards each other. Hearing the other say, out loud, that their feelings were reciprocated removed all the ambiguity and made them feel something that neither expected to feel ever again; a sense of security. They held onto each other for several minutes. Then Ellie pulled her head back to look at Abby.

"I'll wear the mask if you want me to"

"Shhh"

Abby pushed Ellie's hair back off of her face and kissed her. Ellie let go of Abby, put her arms inside her jacket and held onto the back of her shoulders. Ellie felt, at this moment, that she would do anything Abby asked her to, and Abby felt like she would do anything for Ellie.

"Come on," Abby said, turning around, "It's freezing"

With one arm around each other, they walked back to the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So towards the end there, I originally typed the word "mutual" in stead of "reciprocated". But I was like nawwwww not like this. What do you guys think? Should I have dropped the title in there or would that be just too much cheese?
> 
> As always, thank you so much for all the lovely comments!! xxx


	9. Ebullition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That reminds me, I really do need to get a new desk in my office...

They spent three more days at the national park. They found two more hotels and a camp site, as well as miles of walking trails and thousands of gigantic trees. However, the initial awe eventually wore off, and the cabin was small compared to the green museum house. With a stop at the apartment building where they left their new clothes, they made it back to the museum about 5 days later. As soon as they stepped onto the property everyone felt relieved. The property was vast and quiet, the house was spaceous, and they were all starting to feel very comfortable there. Plus, their backpacks were much heavier than they were when they left. It was late in the afternoon when they got to the house. Before leaving they had chained the door closed, and they were pleasantly surprised to find the lock intact, and no broken windows. Abby turned the dial on the lock, pulled the chain out, and they went in. The first thing they did after setting down their bags was go straight to the kitchen. Lev got a thermos and went outside to get water from the rain barrel. Abby got three protein bars out of the cabinet and they all sat down and ate.

"Yep. These still suck." Ellie said, grimacing.

"I dunno," Abby said, looking at her bar and chewing, "I kinda like 'em"

Ellie and Lev looked at her, then at each other. Ellie stuck her tongue out and made a disgusted face and Lev laughed. Abby looked up at them and they smiled at her.

"Nobody is forcing you to eat them" Abby said, crumpling up her wrapper and throwing it at Lev.

"I could go hunting" he said.

Abby looked out the window. It would be a few hours before the sun was down, and they would need to eat something more substantial at some point. She held her hand out towards the door and Lev dropped his bar on the table, picked up his bow and went out the door. Abby reached across the table and picked up the rest of his bar. She pushed her chair back, put one leg up on the table, and started eating it. Ellie licked her teeth and watched her for a few seconds. Food had never been particularly important to Ellie. She ate when she needed to and, typically, didn't care much how it tasted. But these bars were genuinely awful. She was willing to eat them, but she wasn't excited about seconds. Of course, Abby ate more of everything than Ellie did. Ellie sometimes tried to imagine what Abby used to eat before they met. It must have been a lot. As someone with a permanently small appetite, Ellie couldn't wrap her head around it. Ellie stood up and walked over to Abby, kissing her on the top of her head.

"I'm gonna go put some of this crap away"

"Okay" Abby said with her thumb up.

Ellie went to the front door, picked up her and Abby's backpacks, and went upstairs. She set their bags down in front of the chest of drawers and sat down on the floor in front of it. She pulled open the bottom drawer and looked through her clothes. There wasn't much, she thought, worth saving. It was mostly old tank tops she had gotten off of the yacht, one or two tee shirts that didn't fit, and several pairs of threadbare socks. She opened the middle drawer above it half way and looked through Abby's clothes. It looked very similar to her drawer. Mostly large tee shirts, a couple pairs of old boxer shorts, and some socks that looked even worse than hers. But, she didn't want to get rid of anything of Abby's for her, so she just pushed it all to one side to make room for the new clothes. She scooped up everything from her drawer in her arms and put it on the floor. She saw the jeans she was wearing in Santa Barbara and inspected them. If you held them up to the light you could still see blood stains across the front and sides, and they were ripped and frayed in several places. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to get rid of these. So she folded them and put them back in the drawer. Just then Abby walked into the room and saw her on the floor with the pile of clothes.

"You going through my underwear?" she teased.

Ellie laughed. Abby smiled and sat down next to her. She looked into the middle drawer and pulled everything of hers out.

"These are all pretty bad, huh?" Abby said, holding up a tee shirt that was so thin it was practically see-through.

"I dunno," Ellie said, looking at it, "I'm kinda gonna miss that one"

Abby smiled and put the shirt back in the drawer.

"I'll keep it then"

Ellie leaned over and kissed her. Abby looked through the rest of the small pile in front of her. She decided the boxer shorts were worth keeping, so she folded them and put them back into the drawer. Then she pulled her backpack closer and unzipped it, pulling out all of the new clothes she found. Everything looked so pristine compared to her old clothes; which were mostly Owen's old clothes. She started folding everything and putting it into the drawer. She left out one pair of pants and a tee shirt to change into. They had all been wearing the same outfits for a week and a half, and she was ready to be rid of it. She took off her boots and stood up. She pulled her shirt up and over her head and threw it in the corner of the room. Ellie got everything of hers put away, except for one clean outfit, and stood up. One foot at a time, she pulled off her boots and dropped them on the floor. She looked down and unbuttoned her jeans.

Abby walked up behind her and put her arms around Ellie's stomach. Ellie put her hands on Abby's arms and turned her head to the side to kiss her. Ellie closed her eyes as Abby moved her hands under her shirt, all the way up her torso and back down. Ellie sighed, and Abby kissed her neck. She pulled Ellie's shirt up and Ellie raised her arms. Abby lifted her shirt off and threw it into the corner of the room, then turned Ellie around to face her. Ellie looked at her for a second. It felt like forever since they were really alone together. Ellie put her hands on Abby's chest and ran them upwards, over her shoulders, and around her neck. Abby put her arms around Ellie's waist and pulled her up against her. Ellie put her head on Abby's shoulder. Abby put her chin on Ellie's head and started swaying side to side a little bit.

"I thought you didn't like to dance" Ellie said into Abby's neck.

"I said I never have"

Ellie lifted her head to look at her.

"This is dancing"

"What? No it's not. This is just... moving."

Ellie laughed and kissed her. Abby was the most romantic person Ellie thought she had ever met. But if Ellie ever called attention to something romantic she was doing, she would get embarrassed. This was both endearing and funny to Ellie. She never considered herself to be a person that wanted much romance in her life. If truth be told, Ellie would also get embarrassed if Abby pointed out something romantic she was doing. Teasing each other was something they did often. But sometimes, neither of them found the situation funny. It would just be nice. Abby never really had the opportunity to romance someone before, and it was something she enjoyed doing; even if she wasn't aware she was doing it at the time. And, as much as Ellie would hate to admit it, she liked it too. Just then Ellie got an idea.

"Hey, do you want to go for a walk later?"

"A walk where?"

"Nowhere. Just... around. Tonight."

Abby looked at her suspiciously.

"Okay" Abby said, narrowing her eyes.

"Good"

Ellie smiled and kissed her again. They heard the door open and close downstairs.

"It's me!" Lev called out.

"Coming!" Abby yelled back with her head turned.

After spending a few more seconds holding each other, they got dressed and went downstairs.

\------------

By the time they finished eating the sun had set. Abby went outside to wash off the dishes. Lev went into the living room and started inspecting his bow. He mentioned earlier that it wasn't shooting as straight as it should. With one leg through the bow, he pushed the top limb forwards, removed the string, and sat down. Ellie handed him a rag and some oil, and he started mending the bow.

"Do you mind if we go out walking tonight?" Ellie asked, turning and walking towards the stairs.

Lev looked up from his bow and smiled.

"No" he said, grinning.

Ellie stopped on the first step and turned back around. She walked back over and bent down in front of him.

"Nobody needs your attitude"

He just laughed. Ellie pinched his face and said,

"Oh I'm funny now?"

This only made him laugh more. Just then Abby came back into the house and saw Ellie poking Lev while he laughed. She smiled and put the dishes down.

"Did I miss something?"

Ellie held a finger up in Lev's face and gave him a serious look. He looked at her, still smiling.

"Nope" she said, standing straight up and turning around, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just need my jacket..."

"I'll get it" Ellie said.

Ellie walked back to the stairs and went up. Abby looked at her, then at Lev, who was still smiling. She shook her head and brought the dishes into the kitchen. Ellie went to her backpack and knelt down. She unzipped it and took out her casette player. When she pulled it out a coin wrapped up in the headphones fell onto the floor. She had found a New York quarter at the park welcome center and kept it, pretty sure Abby didn't have one yet. She apparently forgot about it at the time. She put it in her pocket, wrapped the headphones around the casette player and stood up. She put her jacket on and put the casette player in the inside pocket. She picked Abby's jacket up on the way out and went back downstairs. Abby took the jacket from her, put it on and zipped it up, walking over to Lev.

"We'll be back in a while"

"I'll be here" he said, holding up the rag and the bow.

\--------------

They walked out of the row of houses and into the center of the property. They held hands as they walked along the broken concrete paths around the small buildings, and talked about the best books they had read, the best movies they had seen, and generally happy memories. When they got to the playground they walked over and sat on the swings.

"So," Ellie said, spinning the swing to face Abby, "What's the worst injury you can remember?"

Abby thought about it. She had seen a lot of bad injuries, but she hadn't actually suffered many that she considered to be too awful.

"Well," she said after a minute, "One time I was running from a mob of infected, and I mean a mob, so... I was running through this empty hotel. And somehow I ran myself into a corner, and I basically trapped myself in a room on the second floor. So I decided to break the window and jump out to the ground..."

"Ooh" Ellie said, grimacing.

"Actually, I landed fine..."

"Of course you did"

Abby smiled.

"So... I made it outside and started running again. And... I slipped on the wet pavement, fell forwards and dislocated my shoulder."

Ellie busted out laughing. Abby smiled and looked down, then back at Ellie; and she couldn't help laughing either.

"Alright. What about you?"

"Hmm..." Ellie said, considering it. "Well, one time I was trapped in a theater with this psycho bitch who pounded my head into the concrete. That was pretty bad."

Abby looked at her, and Ellie smiled.

"Alright" Abby said.

"No, but... the worst pain I ever felt, I think, was my arm." Ellie held up her right arm.

"The bite?"

"No, after that. The bite actually wasn't that bad. But... afterwards it started to look kind of fucked up and conspicuous. So I kinda poured chemicals on it. It burned like crazy. That's why it looks like that."

Abby stared at her. Ellie's arm did seem unusual-looking to her. But, she had never seen what an old bite looked like, so she didn't think much about it. And she never wanted to bring it up, because neither of them liked talking about anything related to Ellie's immunity.

"Okay," Abby said, "so we're both idiots."

Ellie laughed and nodded.

"You know..."

Abby started saying something. But as soon as she did they heard a loud crash of thunder. They both looked up, but it was hard to tell which way the storm was coming from. They got up from the swings and started walking back towards the house. They only made it a few meters from the playground before it started pouring rain. They weren't far from one of the small exhibition buildings, so they ran for it. They got inside and stood in front of the door looking at each other, soaking wet, and started laughing. Abby walked over to the reception desk near the front door and started looking for one of the flashlights they had left around the property. She found it in the top drawer, turned it on, and walked over to a glass display case, setting the flashlight face down on top of it to light up the room a bit. She walked over to Ellie, who was standing at a window, looking out at the rain.

"Well, do you want to run for it or wait it out?" Ellie asked.

Abby, taking off her jacket and laying it over a chair, said,

"Wait."

Ellie looked at her. She was wearing black work pants and a black, sleeveless, nylon shirt. She pulled the hair tie out of her wet hair, put it around her wrist, and ran her fingers through her hair. Ellie took off her jacket, and then remembered the tape player inside. She took it out to check that it was still dry; it was.

"What's that?" Abby asked, as it was still fairly dark in the building.

Ellie dropped her jacket on the floor and held it up. Abby squinted and stepped closer. She saw what it was and gave Ellie a questioning look.

"I thought we could dance, but..." Ellie said, and then waved outside.

"You wanna dance with me?"

Abby's voice was low, and it caught Ellie off guard a little bit. She smiled and looked at her feet for a second, then back up at Abby.

"Yeah. I do"

"Okay"

Ellie looked at her for another second or two, and then unwrapped the headphones from around the casette player. She hit play and put the player in her pocket. She handed Abby one earbud, and put the other one in her ear. Abby put her arms around Ellie's neck and Ellie put her arms around Abby's waist, and they started dancing. Ellie had put a mix tape of slow songs from the 1980s in before they left. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she felt a little embarrassed, slow dancing to Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love" in the dark, during a rain storm. Abby didn't seem to notice. They didn't say anything for the duration of the song, they just rocked side to side slowly, holding each other. When the song ended and the next one began, Abby opened her mouth, and then shut it again, shaking her head and smiling.

"What?" Ellie asked.

Abby exhaled, licked her lips and opened her mouth again.

"It was uh... it was my birthday today."

Ellie opened her mouth and stared at her.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Well, it's not a big deal," Abby shrugged, "Besides, I'm telling you now."

Ellie kept staring at her. It was a surprise. But, she supposed she might have done the same. Ellie had never been the biggest fan of birthdays. Still, she might have done something if she had known. Then she remembered the quarter in her pocket and smiled. Abby smiled back at her and narrowed her eyes.

"What's that look?"

"It turns out, I got you a birthday present."

"What?"

Ellie took one arm from around Abby's waist and reached into her back pocket to pull out the quarter. She held it behind her back for a second. Abby couldn't imagine what she might be holding. When she pulled her hand from behind her back Abby could tell right away what it was. It was too dark to be able to read it, but she could see that it was a quarter. Abby thought she might melt.

"It's New York" Ellie said, "I didn't think you had this one yet. I found it at the park, but forgot I had it until today."

Abby felt overcome with adoration. Most people thought it was stupid to collect useless coins. Maybe it was. But Ellie didn't think it was any more stupid than collecting cards. Abby pictured Ellie looking through her collection, making a note of what she had, and looking for ones she was missing while they were out. She thought it might be the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her. Lightning crashed loudly outside and snapped her out of her train of thought. She took the quarter from Ellie and looked at it, smiling.

"Happy birthday" Ellie said, putting her arm back around Abby's waist.

"Thank you"

Abby made a fist and held the coin in the palm of her hand. With her other hand she ran her fingers across Ellie's forehead and down the side of her face. Ellie turned her face and kissed Abby's fingers, then looked back at her. Abby moved her hand around the back of Ellie's neck and kissed her. It was cold in the building, and they were still wet from the rain, but Abby's stomach pressed against Ellie's was hot; and her lips on hers were even hotter. Side A of the tape had finished playing, and all they could hear was the thunder and rain outside. Ellie pulled their ear buds off, out of the tape player, and dropped them on the floor. Ellie ran her hands down Abby's thighs and back up to her waist. The tips of Ellie's thumbs had come just up underneath Abby's shirt, and it gave her goosebumps. Abby let the quarter fall onto the floor and ran her fingers through Ellie's hair. She grabbed onto it at the back, and a few drops of water ran off of it, and down the front of Abby's forearm.

Ellie sighed and squeezed Abby's hips tighter. She moved her hands up Abby's ribs and pulled her shirt upwards. They pulled their faces apart and Abby pulled her shirt the rest of the way off. She dropped it next to them and grabbed onto the bottom of Ellie's shirt. Ellie raised her arms and let her take it off of her. Ellie put her hands on Abby's well-defined stomach. She loved Abby's stomach. Abby stood with her arms by her sides, watching Ellie look at her. The way Ellie looked at her body always drove Abby crazy. Abby opened her mouth, her breath starting to becoming shorter. Ellie moved her eyes up to meet Abby's, and the feeling between them was electric. Ellie looked back down at her hands on Abby's stomach and moved them upwards. Ellie's fingers running up Abby's wet skin made her shiver, and she sighed when they ran over her breasts and back down. Abby put her hands on Ellie's arms as she put her mouth on the middle of Abby's chest and kissed her up to her neck.

Abby bent her head and pressed her lips against Ellie's again. She moved her hands down Ellie's arms and around to her lower back, holding her tight. The rain was starting to come down harder outside, but all either of them could hear was the sound of their frantic breathing. Abby started backing Ellie up, and Ellie grabbed onto her arms. They walked a few feet until they bumped into the reception desk. Abby bent down and put her hands on the back of Ellie's thighs, picking her up and setting her on the desk. Ellie put one hand behind her and leaned back to pull the casette player out of her pocket with the other. She set it down on the desk and immediately put her other hand behind her as Abby put her arm around her and started kissing her stomach. With her other hand, Abby unbuttoned and unzipped Ellie's jeans, then pulled her upright so they were face to face. Ellie let go of the desk and held onto the back of Abby's neck. They looked into each other's eyes for a second before Ellie pulled Abby closer against her. Abby kept holding onto Ellie with one arm, and moved her other hand from Ellie's collarbone down her stomach and between her legs. Ellie sighed and moved herself to the edge of the desk, pressing her legs into Abby's hips.

Ellie was so wet that Abby closed her eyes and put her forehead against hers for a second. The fact that she turned her on so much was always amazing to Abby. Abby lifted her head back up and kissed her, moving her fingers rhythmically between her legs. Ellie moved her hands from Abby's neck to her back. Their bodies had become so heated by now that Abby had started sweating, and Ellie's hands slid across her skin. Abby tilted her head and started kissing the side of Ellie's neck. Ellie thought she would have fallen backwards if Abby wasn't holding onto her so tight. Ellie moved one hand back up to Abby's neck and turned her face to the side, her mouth against the side of Abby's face. She moved her other hand over Abby's shoulder and onto her upper arm. She could feel the muscles in Abby's arm contracting as she moved her hand, and it was almost enough to send her over the edge. Ellie's breath on Abby's face was so hot, and her grip on Abby's arm was so tight that Abby felt high. When Abby slid two of her fingers inside her, Ellie moaned,

"Oh, Abby!"

Abby started moving her hand faster and brought her face back up in front of Ellie's. Ellie pulled herself against Abby with her legs. Their lips were so close now that they occasionally brushed against each other. Ellie kissed Abby in between breaths, but eventually had to stop, and just looked at her. Abby looked at Ellie and watched her face start to change. Ellie's hand on her arm was moving up and down, now gripping, now letting go. Abby held onto her tight and moved her hand still faster. Eventually Ellie closed her eyes and dropped her head back. Abby kissed her chest once and looked back at her. Ellie lifted her head again and pulled Abby's face close to hers. She pressed her lips against Abby's for a couple of seconds before she opened her mouth against hers, dug her nails into Abby's arm and cried out. After a few seconds, Ellie caught her breath again.

Abby loosened her grip around Ellie's waist a little bit, and moved her hand from between her legs to her side. Ellie ran her fingers through Abby's hair, and down to her face. She kissed her hard. Then, Ellie pushed Abby backwards and stood up in front of her. She turned around to see what was behind her, grabbed Abby's hand and walked her around the desk. Ellie turned her around and unbuttoned Abby's pants. Then, with her hands on Abby's waist, she pushed her up against the wall. Abby only had a second to be surprised by Ellie's sudden forcefulness before she was pressed against her again, kissing her. Their mouths opened and Ellie's tongue ran over Abby's, making her sigh. Abby put her arms around Ellie's neck and leaned against the wall. Ellie moved her hands under Abby's arms, down her sides, and over her ass. She pulled her against her for a second and then Abby leaned back onto the wall. Ellie put her foot against the inside of Abby's and moved it over a few inches. She ran her hand over Abby's stomach again and down between her legs. Ellie bit her lip and exhaled.

When she first touched her, Abby's knees got weak. So Ellie pushed her leg against the back of her hand and leaned against her harder. With one hand on Abby's lower back, Ellie put her mouth on her chest. Abby put her hands on the back of Ellie's head and looked down at her. Ellie kissed Abby from her collarbone to her breast. She opened her mouth and ran her tongue over Abby's nipple before closing her mouth around it. Abby gripped her hair and leaned forwards for a second before falling back against the wall again. Ellie started moving her fingers faster between Abby's legs, and Abby dropped her head backwards for a second and moaned. Ellie stood up straight again and Abby put her arms back around her neck. Now they were both sweating, and their bare skin against each others' was slick and hot.

Abby was so incredibly turned on by this point that she wasn't aware of anything outside of Ellie's body against hers, and her hand between her legs. Ellie kissed Abby and sucked on her bottom lip as she continued to move her hand faster and faster. Abby began to alternate between holding her breath and hyperventilating, and she couldn't find the concentration to correct it. Ellie moved her hand on Abby's back upwards around her shoulder and down her arm. The sensation caused Abby's arm to jerk backwards and she slammed her elbow into the wall behind her. Ellie put her fingers through Abby's and held her hand up against the wall. Abby squeezed Ellie's hand and held onto her tighter with her other arm. Abby opened her eyes. Ellie was looking at her mouth, but her gaze met Abby's a second later. The passion etched in Ellie's face shot through Abby like electricity. Abby gripped Ellie's hand tighter, and started pushing her hips against Ellie's leg. Ellie didn't take her eyes off Abby as she came. Abby moaned, and then gasped, and closed her eyes. Slowly, she loosened her grip on Ellie's hand, and Ellie kissed her chin. After a few seconds, Ellie moved her hand up Abby's stomach. Abby opened her eyes and put her hand over Ellie's on her stomach. Their stomachs were slick with sweat, and Ellie's hand felt incredibly hot under Abby's fingers.

Abby took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Ellie let their hands against the wall fall down by their sides and just looked at Abby. Abby leaned her head forwards and pressed her lips against Ellie's. Ellie kissed her softly and straightened the leg between Abby's. After a moment or two, Abby slid down the wall until she was sitting against it. Ellie knelt down, turned around, and sat back against her in between her bent legs. Ellie laid her head against Abby's shoulder. Abby put one arm around Ellie's chest, and Ellie held onto it with both hands. With her other hand, Abby pushed Ellie's hair over to the side and kissed the side of her forehead. It was still raining outside, and they stayed there, holding each other, until it let up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make it rain


	10. Consternation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and so the bartender says, why the big paws?

_Abby found herself alone in a dark room. She reached her hand out and felt a door in front of her. As she turned the knob the sound of alarms started ringing louder and louder. She opened the door and was confronted with the same hallway she had seen a thousand times. She stepped in and closed the door behind her. Red lights were flashing on and off above her, and the whole hallway was misted in a dark cloud. When she turned around to check the door behind her again, it wouldn't open. She patted herself down and found nothing but a small pistol in her thigh holster. She exhaled, pulled the gun out, and held it in both hands, pointing down at her side.. She started walking slowly to the end of the corridor. Some of the walls were covered in children's paintings; some graffiti. Every door she checked on the way was locked. There was nowhere to go but forwards. So she kept walking, slowly, the sound of the alarm continuing to get louder and louder as she walked. At the end of the corridor was the Firefly logo, spray painted on the wall in red, with something written beneath it. Abby turned on her flashlight and walked closer. Under the logo was the phrase "When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light." This was in black, and the paint of the letters had bled down the wall a bit. Abby reached out and put one hand on the wall._

_The slate blue stucco was bumpy and rough. Abby ran her fingers down over the logo and past the words, then gasped and pulled her hand away. A small piece of the concrete was chipped and jagged. She looked at her hand and saw blood dripping off her pointer finger and down her palm. She looked around. She was still alone. She wiped her hand on her pants, held onto her gun tightly, and walked past the painted wall to the door at the end. She opened the door and found a decrepit, filthy hand washing station, with another door at the other end. She closed her eyes and exhaled again, then walked towards the other door. She turned the knob and pushed the door outwards, holding her gun up. She didn't see anything in the operating room at first. So she slowly started inching around the door jamb. She walked, gun first, into the room, and nearly fell over. She dropped her gun on the ground and stared at Ellie, sitting on the side of the operating table with her legs hanging off. She didn't say anything, just sat there, looking back at Abby with a confused look on her face. After a few seconds Abby stepped closer into the light and opened her mouth to speak, but found that she couldn't. Eventually she was standing right in front of the table, face to face with Ellie. Ellie moved her eyes over Abby's face as if she was trying to place her. Then she cocked her head to the side and said,_

_"What are you doing here?"_

\------------

Abby gasped and opened her eyes. She looked around the ceiling frantically without moving for a few seconds, hyperventilating a bit. When she caught her breath again, she turned her head. Ellie was lying next to her, moving her hand over Abby's arm.

"Okay?" She said, sleepily.

Abby stared at her for a few seconds. She was lying on her stomach, her head turned towards Abby. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were slightly apart. Abby didn't say anything. She wasn't okay. She was still panicking, slightly. Abby turned her head back to face the ceiling and put her hand over her mouth. Ellie opened one eye and looked at her. It had been a while since Abby had a really bad morning like this. Ellie pushed herself up onto her elbows. Abby took her hand away from her face and closed her eyes. She started breathing slowly, through her nose. Ellie pushed the covers off of herself and moved over, putting one arm around Abby. She didn't say anything, she just waited for Abby to open her eyes. After a few seconds she did. Abby looked up at Ellie, and Ellie could tell she was calming down. Ellie ran her fingers through Abby's hair and down the side of her face.

Abby was calming down. But her thoughts were running back and forth between reassuring herself that it wasn't real, and questioning why Ellie was there at all. She had had nightmares so many times before, but never one with Ellie in it; never. She told herself it didn't mean anything. Abby was not a superstitious person, and didn't believe dreams meant anything more than a combination of chemicals in the brain. Still, it was jarring. She put her arms under Ellie's and around her back. Ellie straightened her arms on either side of Abby's head and laid down, partially, on top of her. Abby moved her hands up and down Ellie's back a few times, and then held onto her.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Abby wanted to forget about it.

"Maybe later."

Ellie pushed herself up a few inches so her head was next to Abby's. Abby turned her head to look at her and smiled.

"I'm fine"

Ellie squinted her eyes. Whatever Abby had been dreaming of was not fine. But, it was just a dream. So Ellie didn't see the point in trying to drag something upsetting out of her. Abby kissed her, and she decided to let it go. They both closed their eyes again and laid there together for a while. The sun was just starting to come in through the bedroom window. The room was more lived-in now than ever. They had been living in the green house for about six months and, by now, they all had accumulated quite a bit of stuff. There was so much to find in the rest of the houses on the street and throughout the various exhibition halls, and much of it ended up back at the house. In addition to the bed and chest of drawers, the room now had a small secretary desk in the corner, an old wooden rocking chair, a braided rug, and various trinkets they liked the look of. Ellie even found an old Victrola which now sat in the living room. As yet, she hadn't come across any records. But she hoped she might. The two of them had almost fallen back asleep when they heard the sound of Lev dropping something, loudly, downstairs. Ellie yawned. Pushing herself up, she put one leg on either side of Abby and sat back. She put her fingers through Abby's, and Abby opened her eyes and looked at her.

"So," Ellie said, "What do you want to do today?"

Abby was having a hard time thinking of anything but her dream. She tried desperately to push it out of her mind and think of something else.

"I don't know. Lev keeps saying he's hearing noises in the attic at night. I could see what's going on there..."

"Are you going to fix the roof?"

Ellie was smiling. Abby couldn't be sure, but she felt like Ellie was teasing her. She smiled back at her and raised an eyebrow.

"You don't think I could fix a roof?"

"Oh I know you could. Are you going to wear a tool belt?"

Abby's cheeks went red and she laughed.

"Okay"

"Cause," Ellie continued, still smiling, "It can get pretty hot up there. Sweaty. I could help, like... hand you tools and stuff..."

Abby laughed louder. No one had ever made her laugh as much as Ellie did. It seemed Ellie could always make her laugh, even when she wasn't trying to be funny. There was something carefree and fun about Ellie that still sometimes took Abby by surprise. Having spent most of her life in strict, regimented environments, Abby found Ellie's attitude endlessly charming. Being without supervision for the first time in her life also lent itself to her newfound happiness. It's not that Abby had never been happy before. But there was something alluring about not having a schedule to follow, a war to fight, people she was forced to work with even if she didn't want to, constant fear of screwing something up and facing consequences; all things it seemed Ellie had been used to for most of her life, Abby was only just experiencing. And, even though she had been on her own with Lev for quite some time before Ellie came along, she never really seemed to be able to relaxed until she did.

She could remember the first morning on the yacht in Santa Barbara after Ellie freed them from the Rattlers. She had woken up before the other two did. She sat on the bed looking at Ellie sleeping for a long time before Lev woke up. She had imagined coming across her again a hundred times. Every time she imagined being furious. It was a confusing first few days together. But what was most confusing to her at the time was her initial reaction. She watched Ellie, lying on the bench, her shoulder moving up and down with each breath, and she didn't feel furious. She didn't feel nervous. She didn't feel afraid. She felt calm, and all she wanted to do was keep looking at her. It seemed like the second Ellie came back into her life, everything Abby had ever worried about started to not matter so much anymore.

"I don't think anything would get done if we were up there together, sweating, passing each other tools, do you?"

Ellie smiled wider and lowered herself down on top of Abby.

"Something would"

Abby let go of Ellie's hands and slapped her on the thighs.

"It'll just have to wait until later"

"Maybe. If you're lucky..."

Ellie kissed Abby, and got up.

\---------------------

Abby was walking back to the green house holding a few good pieces of wood with nails sticking out of them. She thought it most likely that there was a small hole somewhere in the roof, and she didn't count on finding any nails just lying around. She walked around to the back of the house where there was a small shed in which they had a makeshift work bench. She picked up a hammer and walked in through the back door. Lev and Ellie were sitting at the kitchen table mending a net they used for fishing. She closed the door and Ellie looked over at her. She walked to the stairs and, as she passed by, she pointed the hammer at Ellie and winked. Ellie smiled and bent her head back to watch her go up the stairs.

Abby walked to the end of the hallway and set down the wood. She looked down at herself and stuck the hammer into one of her beltloops. Then she reached up to the attic door, pulled on the chain, unfolded the old wooden ladder, and climbed up with the wood under her arm. She had been up here once before. But, as this house was something like a tourist attraction, there wasn't anything in the attic, so she never really looked around. There roof was slanted at a sharp angle, making the room triangular. And it was indeed very hot. There was a small vent at the front of the house letting in a little bit of light, but other than that it was mostly dark; except for one corner of the room. Abby walked over and found a small hole chewed into the roof about the size of a softball. She set the wood down, pulled the hammer out of her belt loop, and knelt down in front of it. She looked at the two pieces of wood she brought and picked up the one that was about the right width. She stood the rectangular board's end against the floor, and laid the other end on her knee, nails sticking up. Then, one by one, she started banging the nails out backwards.

For most of the morning she had been able to forget about her dream. But suddenly, in the dark stuffy attic, it came back into her mind. It wasn't that the dream itself was frightening her, but more her fear that something could happen to Ellie. When she contacted the Fireflies in Santa Barbara they said they were nearby. They had managed to get quite a bit of difference between them and Catalina Island; 200 miles or so if Abby had read her map right. But it wasn't enough. She was still closer than she wanted to be. It seemed insane to suggest leaving when they finally found a comfortable place. But as long as they stayed in California Abby would always be nervous that they were nearby. She wasn't sure how, but she wanted to try and convince Lev and Ellie to leave the state. They still had the yacht, assuming no one had taken it by now. It wouldn't take them too long to get back to it. They could certainly find some gas on the way. Then they could just leave; go anywhere. Anywhere but here.

Abby hammered out the last nail from the board and stood up. She held onto one end, left the other end on the floor and leaned it on an angle. She looked at the hole, then back at the board, lifted one leg up and kicked it in half. Kneeling back down, she picked up a few nails and held them between the middle and pointer finger of her left hand. Then she held the board up to the hole and picked up the hammer in her right hand. She nailed the wood over the hole and pulled at it to make sure it was secure.

\-----------------

Later that afternoon Abby and Ellie walked to the nearby river. It was absolutely filthy in the attic, and Abby said she needed to rinse off before it got too cold. Ellie said she needed to wash some clothes anyways. After washing out the clothes and setting them on some rocks nearby to dry, Abby took her shirt and pants off and walked into the river. The Kern river was only about ten inches at its deepest where they were. Abby laid down with her head against the current and let it wash over her. The water was cool, but not frigid, and relatively slow-moving in this particular area. Underneath were large flat rocks, made smooth and slippery by the water. Ellie dropped her shirt and pants near Abby's, walked over and laid down next to her. After a few minutes they sat up. Abby shook out her hair and Ellie pushed hers back and wiped the water off her face. Then she moved behind Abby and put her arms and legs around her. Abby put her arms on Ellie's and leaned her head back against hers.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Okay" Ellie said, moving her head over to look at her.

Abby still wasn't exactly sure what reason she could give for leaving that would make sense; or one that wouldn't make her sound paranoid. She looked down and ran her fingers over Ellie's scar. Ellie just sat waiting for her to keep talking.

"What would you think about leaving here?" Abby said, looking back at Ellie.

Ellie thought about it for a few seconds. The question came as something of a surprise. She didn't much care where they went personally. But Abby wasn't much of an unnecessary risk-taker. The museum wasn't exactly five stars. But they had everything they needed.

"Well," Ellie said, "I wouldn't be against it. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," Abby shrugged, "somewhere else. Not California."

"Wow so like... really somewhere else then."

"I was thinking, we could go back to Santa Barbara, get the boat. Then we could go anywhere."

Now Ellie's interest was piqued. It was obvious this wasn't a spur of the moment thought. At first she thought maybe Abby was just tired of the house, or the heat in summer or something. But there must be something else bothering her if she was considering walking back to Santa Barbara to get to another state. She moved around to Abby's side, putting one leg over her lap.

"Any particular reason?"

A small part of Abby had been hoping that Ellie just wouldn't ask why she wanted to leave. She felt a little bit stupid for feeling the way she did. She had spent some time throughout the day thinking of valid reasons for leaving. But, now that they were having the conversation, she didn't want to lie.

"Remember how I told you I came here following a lead on the Fireflies?"

"Yeah..." Ellie nodded.

"Well, I spoke to them, on a radio. Someone told me they were stationed on Santa Catalina Island, just off the coast."

"Okay?"

Ellie wasn't sure where she was going with this. She also recalled Abby originally telling her she didn't know whether or not her lead was good. But she didn't want to bring that up.

"Well, I've just been thinking, maybe it's not the best idea to stay here, so close by."

Now it was starting to make sense to Ellie. Whenever the Fireflies came up in the past, Abby would change the subject as quickly as she could. Then there was the night in the national park. It seemed to Ellie like Abby was afraid if they ever came across them, she would be tempted to let them try to make another vaccine. Honestly, she would have once. Now, as guilty as it made her feel, when she thought about it, she didn't feel as compelled to throw herself at them as she did once.

"Hey, I don't really care where we go. But, Abby, nobody knows I'm with you. They don't even know if you're still out there. What are the chances..."

Ellie trailed off when Abby looked down. Abby knew it was a stretch, and she wasn't really sure how to make it sound more rational. She didn't ordinarily like the idea of being seen as an irrational person. But, with Ellie it was different. She raised her head, pushed her hair out of her face and turned to look at Ellie.

"I know. But... they're around, you know? They probably come to the mainland sometimes. I just... don't like it. I would feel better if we were farther away."

Ellie might have thought this was some kind of residual thought process leftover from this morning. But it didn't seem like that. Abby's voice was calm and steady; and she had obviously given it a bit of thought. It would be a little bit of a shame to leave the green house. But, what did it really matter? They would probably end up leaving it sooner or later anyways.

"Well," Ellie said putting her arms around Abby tighter, "I'll go anywhere you want to go."

Abby smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes really."

A wave of relief washed over Abby. It wasn't that she thought Ellie would say no. But, if she had offered what she just said as an explanation to anyone at the WLF, she would have been laughed out of the room. She was so happy to be with someone who didn't need her to be perfect; and she was happy even just to have the prospect of leaving California.

"Thank you"

Ellie put her arms around Abby's neck and kissed her.

"You don't have to thank me. I love you. If you aren't happy here, we leave."

"I love you too," Abby said, and kissed Ellie again, "Thank you."

"You're going to be the one to tell Lev he won't have his own room for a while though."

Abby laughed.

"Please. He's always desperate to go on adventures. He'll probably be packed by the time I finish my sentence."

They sat in the river and talked for another 20 minutes or so before they started to get cold and got out. They both got their clothes back on, wrapped all the half-dry clothes up in sheets, and walked back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it felt like this chapter was maybe a little bit.... slow? But trust me, it's going somewhere


	11. Veneration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Book a dentist appointment, ladies.

Lev didn't need much convincing. After Abby proposed the idea of leaving, his initial reaction was suspicious. But Ellie and Abby quickly convinced him there was no reason to worry. Without going in to too much detail, Abby explained that she didn't feel comfortable where they were and, though he didn't completely understand why, Lev had no problem leaving the museum behind. He spent the remainder of that night talking about what far-off places they might go to, the people they might meet, and what they might see. Ellie was happy to tell him about everything she could remember reading in copies of National Geographic. Abby tried to keep them both grounded by reminding them that their boat wouldn't likely get them across the Pacific Ocean, though that didn't necessarily mean there was no hope for the future. 

After fixing the scope on Ellie's rifle, Abby got up and went out back. She dipped a rag into the rain barrel, wiped the gun oil off of her arms and hands, and hung it on the line. When she came back in Ellie and Lev were talking about some city in Thailand that was overrun with monkeys; sounded like absolute dross to Abby, but it was cute to see them so excited together. Times like these made Abby feel so grateful for having Ellie around. It's not that she thought herself boring, but Ellie had a way of making anything fun. Whenever she played guitar for him, or told him stories, or taught him vulgar hand gestures, his face would absolutely beam. Abby was happy with the pseudo-big-sister role she had adopted with him. But she was glad that they had each other too. After watching them for a minute, she left them talking on the couch and went upstairs to get changed.

She walked into her and Ellie's room and looked around. It was going to be hard to leave this place. Living like nomads had its perks, but there was something exceedingly comforting about having a place like this that you knew was always going to be there for you. She looked down at the small circular braided rug in the middle of the floor and smiled. That would've been nice to have their first night there. She still wasn't sure what had possessed her that night. After Ellie had gone upstairs, she sat in the kitchen alone for a little while, and all she could think of was her. Ellie was all she had thought about since the night she heard her sing in the factory. If truth be told, she had almost entirely colonized her thoughts since the very first day. But some switch went off in her that night in the factory. Honestly, she didn't even realize the feeling was attraction at first. It had been so long since she considered anything like that, so it didn't occur to her to analyze it that way. 

But watching her play, and then touching each other for the first time, in a non-medical kind of way, had ignited something in Abby; and, once ignited, it instantly became a wildfire that Abby couldn't extinguish, or ignore. She did a decent enough job of keeping a lid on it for a couple of days. But she felt more and more anxious with every hour that passed. Then, when Ellie held her hand the night after leaving the factory, her thoughts calmed down again; which was even more confusing when she thought about it later. So there she was, sitting in the kitchen, thinking about Ellie, and eventually becoming restless. She felt like, if she didn't say it out loud, she might explode. So she went into Ellie's room with the intention of talking to her. She didn't know what she might've said. Maybe she would have just asked if Ellie felt drawn to her as well. After all, it might have all just been some kind of morbid fascination she had after spending so long trying to ignore her. But then she walked into the room. The room was dimly lit and Ellie was looking through her backpack. When she looked up at her, Abby's mind had gone blank. Without thinking she closed the door behind her and tried to remember what she wanted to say, but couldn't. When she kissed her it had been just as surprising to Abby as it must have been to Ellie. Then, after she had done it, all she could think was that Ellie was going to ask her why she did, and she wasn't going to be able to answer. But then...

Abby exhaled. She took off her shirt, then her pants, then her socks, threw them into the corner of the room, and walked over to the chest of drawers. The New York quarter was still sitting on top of it. Abby hadn't put it with her others just yet because she liked looking at it. But now that they were going to be leaving, she supposed, she should. She picked up her backpack and pulled out the small coin purse. She looked at the quarter again, then put it with the rest and closed her bag. She opened the middle drawer and looked inside for a few seconds. It would be a while, she supposed, before she had a drawer again. Living out of a backpack wasn't awful, but it was nice to be able to have a drawer of your own. She took out a pair of red Nike basketball shorts and put them on, then a plain white tee shirt. After closing the drawer she took the hair tie off her wrist and pulled as much of her hair back into a short pony tail as she could, and she went back downstairs.

\---------------

Once they were done talking about monkey cities and lost Aztec cities, Ellie played a few songs on the guitar, and Lev went upstairs to bed shortly afterwards. Abby and Ellie looked at each other and smiled. Ellie strummed a few chords on the guitar and then said,

"You wanna try?"

Abby laughed and crossed her arms.

"Me? No. I would be terrible."

"You don't know until you try" Ellie said, smiling wider and continuing to strum, "I can show you."

Abby smiled and shook her head. Then Ellie stopped strumming, stood up and walked over to Abby. She set the guitar down on her lap and sat down behind her with one leg on each side of her. Abby turned her head.

"I'm telling you, you're wasting your time."

Ellie reached her arms around Abby and took her hands, putting one under the neck of the guitar, and the other over the strings. She looked over Abby's shoulder and moved her fingers into the right positions. Then, with her right hand, she put her fingers through Abby's, leaving their thumbs sticking out. She moved Abby's hand so that her thumb went down and up on the strings a few times. The sound was a little bit muffled, but it was definitely a G chord. Ellie turned and looked at Abby with her eyebrows raised.

"See? You're doing it."

Abby laughed again.

"No. You're doing it."

Ellie removed her hands, held them out to the side and looked at her.

"Alright," Abby said, strumming down a few times, "but that's just because you put my fingers in the right spot. And, unless this is a song, I'm out of ideas."

Ellie put her hands back on Abby's and put her mouth up to her ear.

"Then I'll show you where to put your fingers again."

Abby's shoulders fell down and she turned her head towards Ellie's. Ellie kissed her on the cheek, then moved her fingers again.

"Now, look. These are barre chords. Real easy. You put your pointer finger here," she said, moving Abby's pointer finger to the first fret on the first string, "and your ring finger two frets down and one string below that" she moved Abby's ring finger to the third fret, "and then you can just press down a little bit with your ring finger. That way, the next string down will get depressed, but not the rest. Now, you can just strum, and that's a barre chord."

She moved Abby's right hand down over the first three strings a few times. Abby sighed and kept on strumming. Again, the sound was muffled. But the pitch was right. 

"Now. Keep your fingers in the same position, but move them down and over two spaces."

Abby moved her hand over and down to the third and fifth fret.

"See? So, if you just keep your fingers like that, you can basically move them anywhere on the guitar, and it's a kind of chord. You can play basically anything this way."

"Well," Abby said, dropping her right hand, "if you think I'm going to sing, you've got another thing coming."

"Why not? I've heard you sing," Ellie smiled, "I like it."

"Fuck off" Abby laughed and nudged Ellie with her arm.

"Alright, well I'll sing then. But... I think we both know I'm not winning any awards either."

Ellie moved Abby's hand back to the first and third fret, and moved her other hand down over the strings a few times. Then she moved her hand to another position, and another, and another, and then back again a few times, and she started singing,

"Must be your skin, I'm sinking in  
Must be for real 'cause now I can feel  
And I didn't mind  
It's not my kind  
It's not my time to wonder why  
Everything's gone white  
And everything's grey  
Now you're here, now you're away  
I don't want this  
Remember that  
I'll never forget where you're at  
Don't let the days go by  
Glycerin"

\-------------------

They spent the majority of the next morning and afternoon getting everything they needed together. By now they had become accustomed to having storage, and it seemed like it was going to be a major inconvenience to live without certain things; like having actual tools to use, having several clean rags available at any given time, and everything else that was nice to have but, considering they would have to carry everything they owned in their back packs, would not be very prudent to take. So they decided what was essential, what could be left behind, and they walked around the property one more time to get a last look, and pick up anything they might have left lying around. By the time everything was set, it was fairly late in the afternoon, so they decided to wait until the next morning to leave. They would be on the road for at least 10 days, so there was no need to start walking when they'd only have a few hours of daylight left.

They all woke up before the sun rise; likely due to the anticipation of the journey. It was now winter in Bakersfield, which meant highs in the 50's and lows in the 30's. So they all dressed in layers. They also still had the old sleeping back they found on the way there, as well as a thick blanket they found in the house; these, they decided, they would take turns carrying. Ellie put on her black jeans, a grey long sleeve henley shirt (over a tank top and a tee shirt), her corduroy jacket, and two pairs of socks underneath her boots. Abby put on a thick pair of grey work pants, a white long sleeve shirt under a blue short sleeve shirt, and her black weatherproof jacket. Lev wore blue jeans, a long sleeve black thermal shirt, and his baggy green hoodie. After looking around one more time, they walked out the door just as the sun was starting to come up.

They planned on taking as close to the same route they took to get here, as they knew what buildings they could spend nights in. So, they knew they would be spending the first night outdoors, as the factory was about two days' walk from the museum. Abby spent a a lot of time looking at her map, and making notes on it, which still made Ellie laugh. Abby had a level of focus when she did certain things that Ellie both appreciated, and couldn't understand. Ellie could focus when it was a life or death situation, but she had never seen anyone so serious about, say, reading a map; or adjusting the scope on a rifle. Ellie liked how serious Abby was. It was practical, and easy to make fun of at the same time. Plus, it meant that during the times she wasn't being serious, she was even more adorable; like she was breaking a rule or something. 

Around the time the sun was setting that evening, they were approaching a tall hill. They decided it would be a good vantage point to have for the night, so they made their way to the top. Once they got to the top, Lev dropped his stuff and went to go find wood for a fire. Ellie started unrolling the sleeping bag and making up a good place to sleep, and Abby started skinning the rabbits they shot earlier. After eating, they all sat around the fire for a while, talking.

"I always thought it was strange," Lev said, "How the wolves dressed."

"How they dress?" Abby asked, surprised.

"Well," Lev continued, "At home, we always dressed to blend in. It made us harder to see. But the wolf clothes were easy to see. That's why we hid better."

"He's got a point," Ellie said, then took a drink of water.

"You know, the original plan was to wear camouflage uniforms," Abby said, looking at him with a serious face, "but... we couldn't find any."

Ellie choked on her water and had to spit some out, then started laughing. Abby smiled. Lev looked between them, sighing and shaking his head. Ellie coughed a few times and slapped Lev's knee.

"So stupid" Lev said looking away from them.

"You want to know about stupid," Ellie said, "I used to stay up all night wondering where the sun went..."

Lev stared at her.

"...then it dawned on me."

Abby laughed, and stuck her fist out. Ellie reached above the fire and bumped it with her fist, and they smiled at each other.

"Oh my god" Lev said, shaking his head.

\----------

Ellie agreed to stay up and look out first, so Abby and Lev got into the sleeping bag and laid down. Ellie wrapped the blanket around herself and stayed sitting with her back to the fire. It still seemed kind of wild to her that they were doing this. She didn't feel particularly attached to the green house, but it was a nice place; and she still couldn't quite wrap her head around the idea that someone would be willing to leave it behind because of her. It seemed especially wild that that person was Abby. These days, Ellie spent more time thinking about Abby's life before what happened than she used to. The subject wasn't taboo like it used to be; partially due to time, and partially due to the fact that they had both done horrible things to each other, so neither could rightly dwell for long on blame. Ellie had never seen the stadium, but from what she read in notes around Seattle, and what Abby had said about it, it was a pretty nice place. 

She imagined Abby living in that huge building; plenty of food, electricity, people all around her, strict schedules. It must have been tough to walk away from. The similarity between this and Ellie's leaving her home didn't occur to her really. She thought of what she did as a desperate attempt at resolution; not an act of self-sacrifice. She admired what Abby did, and she always felt like Abby was a much stronger person than she could ever be. When she walked out of the theater that night, the fact that she had been able to do that was almost more upsetting to Ellie than the fact that she left alive. She wanted to be that strong, and she tried to be that strong, but she couldn't. A lot of her trepidation around Abby in the beginning stemmed from the notion that Abby was a better person than her, and that Abby knew it. Just then Ellie turned around and saw Abby getting out of the sleeping bag and coming towards her. She walked over, smiling, and said,

"My turn"

Ellie opened the blanket and Abby sat down in front of her. Ellie put her arms, and the blanket, around Abby.

"I'm not tired. You can go back to sleep if you want."

"I'll stay." Abby said, leaning her head back on Ellie's shoulder and closing her eyes.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Ellie was looking out into the night and continuing her train of thought. Abby almost fell back asleep.

"You know why I came to California?" Ellie asked.

"Yes," Abby said, "I do."

"No, yeah, but I mean... you know what I hated the most about you?"

"Well this is romantic" Abby said, half under her breath, sitting up straighter.

"It's that you just left. In Seattle, you just... walked away. I don't... know how you did that. I tried for so long to just... let it go, and I couldn't. But it was so much worse knowing that you could let it go. You left the WLF because it was the right thing to do. You left me alive because it was the right thing to do. And now, you're leaving a perfectly good house, cause... Like, I don't know if I could ever do something like that."

She trailed off and looked into the distance. Abby turned her body to the side and looked at her for a few seconds. 

"But you did," Abby said, "You cut me down, and you let it go."

Ellie looked at her for a second, then looked away again.

"That was different. You're like fuckin' Wonder Woman, and I just... was too tired to fight."

Abby laughed a little.

"I don't know about that. But, Ellie, you did the same thing I did. You walked, by yourself, to California, to kill me, right? And you didn't. It wasn't because you were too tired. You could've killed me the next day, or the next. But you didn't."

Ellie nodded. She still didn't think it was the same. But, she supposed it was nice for Abby to say that.

"And," Abby continued, "when you were a kid, you were willing to kill yourself to save the world. That's something."

"I dunno" Ellie shrugged.

She knew what Abby was saying was true. She just couldn't see it clearly; not in so many words. 

"I think you're a lot stronger than you think you are."

"Not like you though" said, half smiling and looking back at Abby.

They looked at each other for a few seconds. Abby genuinely believed what she said. She had often thought back on everything, and felt the opposite was true. At the time, if it hadn't been for Lev, she probably would have killed Dina, and then left Ellie to live with it. But Ellie chose, on her own, to not just walk away, but save Abby's life. The truth was, neither of them really believed they were genuinely good, or genuinely bad. It was just that they admired each other so much that everyone else in the world, including themselves, seemed less praiseworthy. Abby leaned over and kissed Ellie. Ellie ran her fingers through Abby's hair and down to her neck.

"We could settle this right now," Abby said, nodding to the side, "you and me. Victor is the last one standing."

Ellie laughed. Then she raised an eyebrow and said,

"I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"You? Hurt Wonder Woman? Please."

"Okay" Ellie smiled and looked away.

"Oh no, I'm never going to let you forget that."

Ellie shook her head and bit her lip. Abby smiled and leaned back against Ellie again, pulling the blanket back over herself. 

"Besides," Abby said after a few minutes, "I'm sure Wonder Woman has a sidekick right?"

Ellie's mouth opened wide and she looked down at Abby. She could see she was trying to keep herself from laughing. Ellie slapped her arm.

"First of all, I'm nobody's fuckin' sidekick. And second, no, Wonder Woman doesn't have a sidekick."

Abby turned her head upwards to look at Ellie. 

"Robin, right? That's a sidekick."

"That's Batman's sidekick! And anyways, it doesn't fuckin' matter because I'm not your fuckin' sidekick!"

Abby looked down with her eyes for a second, then back up at Ellie.

"What about the Ant Man? That's a thing right?"

"Are you trying to get me to break up with you?"

\----------------


	12. Revalation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tabula Rasa

They had been walking for about three days, and had nearly made it back to highway 99. Walking in the direction of the highway took them a little bit in the wrong direction, but Abby insisted they get to it so she could better plot their route on her map, which she constantly took out, looked at, and marked up with notes and symbols. Ellie had tried by now to get over this strange fixation with the map, but every time she saw Abby take it out, she couldn't help but be bemused. As far as she was concerned, they could just walk in the direction of the coast, and walk up it until they found the boat. But when she brought it up at the start, Abby quickly dismissed the idea. Ellie could only assume it was Abby's desire for knowing what to expect, and move on. It didn't much matter to Ellie when they reached the boat, but she couldn't help but find the whole thing odd.

The truth was, Abby wanted to stay away from the coast for as long as they could, and if she had been able to figure out where they were on the map sooner, she probably would have avoided walking to Bakersfield in the first place. As it turned out, Bakersfield was almost directly northwards of Catalina Island; a fact that hadn't really sat well with her since the second Ellie said the name out loud. She had no way of knowing when, if ever, the Fireflies left the island. But if they did, she definitely didn't want to be directly in front of them; and she certainly didn't want to walk up the coast that faced the island. In addition to her concern for Ellie, she had moved on from her desire to rejoin the Fireflies a long time ago. After Seattle, she thought it might be a safe haven; and maybe it would have been. But when she and Lev barely made it out of the resort in Santa Barbara alive, Abby went through a massive shift in priorities. Before then, there was still something in her that was willing to fight for a better world. But now, she was sick of fighting other people's wars for them. Fighting in the middle of the apocalypse often felt a bit like a losing battle, but now it just seemed asinine. Why should she risk her life for one likely hopeless cause after another? She had seen the inside of the Fireflies, the WLF, and the Seraphites; and she saw what had become of FEDRA. They all thought they were doing the right thing, and they were all monumental failures. All she wanted now was to keep herself, and the people she loved, alive.

They did eventually make it to the highway, and carried on walking south from there. Admittedly, walking on the concrete, cracked and uneven though it might be, was much easier than walking on grass and dirt. Their bags were much heavier than they were originally; and now they had the sleeping bag and blanket to deal with as well. With the increase in pace the road offered, they would make it to the small metropolitan area with the factory by nightfall. Now that they were on the highway, Abby put her map back into her backpack and turned around to look at Lev and Ellie walking behind her, playing rock paper scissors. But whenever Lev's hand was the winner, Ellie would explain why, in this case, it was actually the losing hand. She would say, "well the rock does beat the scissors. The problem is that I already played rock, and it automatically loses the next time it's played." or "the reason paper beats scissors is because I just played paper twice in a row. That makes it twice as strong, so it breaks the scissors." Lev seemed to be genuinely trying to remember all of this. Abby caught Ellie's eye for a second, and she gave her a reproaching look. Ellie smiled. Abby shook her head, and smiled a little after she turned back around. 

\---------------

They made it to the downtown area just before sunset. After checking around in the factory they stayed at before, they all gratefully dropped their bags. Lev volunteered to go get some wood for a fire, and Abby and Ellie decided to walk through the surrounding businesses to clear them out. Ellie got her silenced pistol and a knife. Abby picked up a knife as well, but accidentally picked up her hunting pistol in stead of her silenced pistol, and holstered it. The building right next to the factory was an old post office. It was a small building, and it was quickly evident no one was in there. Ellie started looking through the drawers to see if there was anything useful in them. There wasn't. But she did find a moldy sheet of stamps. She held it up under her flashlight to get a better look. They were all identical, tiny little squares, with a picture of an old woman on them. Abby, who had been looking out through the door, turned around and saw her staring at the sheet.

"What's that?" she asked walking towards Ellie. 

"Stamps."

Abby leaned over the counter to see. It didn't look remarkable to her.

"It would have been cool," Ellie said, looking up from the sheet, "to get mail, wouldn't it?"

Abby stared at her. She had received many written messages in her life, and she couldn't help but assume Ellie had too.

"I mean," Ellie continued, "like, in the mail. In stead of some ripped up peace of newspaper that someone wrote 'Gate East 1: 5404' on, you'd just... randomly get a letter from someone, talking about nonsense. Like... they just wrote you a letter for fun, to tell you something, on like... nice paper and shit..."

Abby smiled. It wasn't often that she heard Ellie idealizing something so simple and conventional. Although she had to admit, the way she put it did sound nice.

"Well," Abby said, walking around the counter, "I could write you a letter."

Ellie put the sheet down and turned to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, why not? I can be poetic."

Abby walked up behind Ellie and put her arms around her stomach. Ellie smiled and put her arms over Abby's. She turned her head towards Abby.

"I don't have any nice paper though."

Ellie laughed.

"I'll find you some."

Abby kissed her, and let her go.

"Alright. Well, you do that. I'm gonna head next door; it's almost dark."

Ellie watched her walk outside and then called out,

"I'll be right there!"

She proceeded to check the rest of the drawers and cabinets. The idea of Abby writing her something had unexpectedly made her feel incredibly giddy. Writing was something Ellie enjoyed doing, but she had never had anyone write her something; not really. She also just liked the idea of Abby sitting down and writing her feelings down. Everything about this idea was adorable, and Ellie couldn't stop smiling. 

Abby walked across the street. The building facing the post office was boarded up, and there was no way in that she could see. So she walked further up the street into the bike shop next door . Again, it was a small building, and obviously empty. She walked in and looked around. Right behind the desk upfront was a small safe. Abby picked it up and set it on the desk. It was a combination safe. She looked around the building but couldn't find the combination written down anywhere. Eventually she walked back to the front and decided to try and get in without it. She pressed her ear up against the small metal box and started turning the dial, listening for the clicks.

Ellie had found a small stack of RSVP cards that were wrapped in plastic. It wasn't stationary, but it did have tiny cakes on it. She started walking out of the post office holding the packet of cards. When she got to the door she saw an infected walking right towards the bike shop diagonal from her. She could see Abby inside through the glass, with her back to the front of the shop, trying to unlock a safe. Ellie pulled out her knife and started walking slowly out the door towards the moaning man. But Abby must have made a noise inside because, in an instant, the man was running towards the bike shop entrance.

"Abby!" Ellie yelled.

Abby looked outside. The man turned around towards Ellie and started running even faster at her. Abby pulled out her gun and aimed at the man. She shot once through the open doorway and hit him in the shoulder. The shot was deafening. Wide-eyed, Abby looked at her gun, and realized she had brought the wrong one. Not only was this one without a silencer, but this also meant she was now out of bullets. In a second the man had gotten inside and tackled Abby to the ground. Abby held her arms up and tried as hard as she could to get him off of her. Without thinking, Ellie dropped her knife and the cards and ran as fast as she could across the street. When she got inside she saw the man on top of Abby. She put her arms around his torso and pulled him off of her. The momentum threw them both back into the wall. Ellie kept her arms around him and held on as tight as she could; with her back against the wall and the infected in front of her, trying to hold the thrashing man still. Abby quickly got to her feet. She reached for her knife but didn't have time to pull it out. In a split second, Ellie's hand had gone in front of the man's face. He bit into it, and Ellie screamed.

"No!" Abby shouted.

Blindly, she ran towards the man, grabbed his shirt, threw him onto the ground and stomped on his head. He immediately stopped moving. Abby turned to Ellie, who had slid down the wall and was now sitting on the floor. Abby's haze of rage had lifted, and she knelt down. When she saw Ellie's hand she started hyperventilating. Abby felt like she was dying, and her life was flashing before her eyes and bleeding out of Ellie's hand. Ellie used her good hand to hold Abby's face up to hers.

"Hey! Hey, hey hey, It's okay. It's okay."

Abby's eyes darted between Ellie's hand and her eyes. But Ellie didn't let go of her face. She just kept moving her own face in front of Abby's eye line until she looked at her. At first, Abby couldn't understand why she was saying it was okay. This was not okay, this was her worst nightmare, and she couldn't remember ever feeling so panicked in her entire life. But after a minute or two Abby's mind started to come back to her, and things slowly started to make sense again.

"It's okay" Ellie kept saying, over and over.

When Abby finally got her senses back, she was immediately overcome with emotion. For a minute or two, in her mind, it was as if Ellie was dying right in front of her; and it was because she picked up the wrong fucking pistol. Unable to cope with the spectrum of emotions that had just gone through her, Abby put her arms around Ellie burst into tears. Ellie whinced, but put her arms around Abby, holding onto the back of her head with her good hand.

"I'm sorry" Abby said into Ellie's neck.

Ellie pulled her head back and held Abby's face in her hand.

"It's okay," she said, "we're both fine. You don't have to be sorry."

Ellie wiped the tears off Abby's face with her thumb. Abby licked the corner of her mouth and was about to say something when Lev came running into the shop holding his bow. 

"Hey, I heard..."

They both turned to look at him. He saw Abby crying, and he looked down and saw Ellie's hand. He looked back at Abby for a second, and then drew his bow and pointed it at Ellie. Abby wiped off her face and stood up in front of her with her arms out.

"Lev, put it down"

He looked at her bewildered, but kept his bow drawn at Ellie.

"But she..."

"It's not what you think" Abby said, "she's immune."

He stared at Abby for a few seconds. He couldn't even really comprehend what the word immune meant. He had never heard of such a thing. He looked down at Ellie. She nodded her head.

"It's true" she said, "I can't turn into one of them."

Lev looked between the two of them, then slowly released the tension on the bow string. He dropped the bow to one side, keeping the arrow nocked. Lev's mind was spinning. One one hand, he couldn't fully comprehend what they were saying, and he didn't completely trust it either. But on the other, he did find consolation in not having to shoot Ellie in the head. Abby dropped her arms and turned around to face Ellie again. She held out her left arm for Ellie to take with her good hand. Ellie grabbed it and pulled herself up to standing. Lev couldn't stop looking Ellie up and down with amazement. After the situation calmed down, the three of them walked back to the factory.

\---------------

Ellie and Lev were talking in the conference room. Ellie was sitting on the couch, holding her hand, and Lev was sitting on the table in front of her. Abby came back into the room after bolting the front door and opened her backpack to get out some alcohol and rags. 

"... but how did you know you wouldn't turn into one of them?" Lev asked.

"I didn't" Ellie answered.

"Back home, if someone got bitten, we would kill them immediately."

"Yeah, well... I thought about killing myself..."

Abby stopped what she was doing. She had never actually heard Ellie tell the full story of her bite. She knew what happened, but not the surrounding details. It was somewhat jarring to think of Ellie as a fourteen year old kid, bitten by an infected, and contemplating suicide. It was especially jarring to hear tonight, as Abby was feeling particularly raw. She poured out some alcohol onto the rags and put the bottle away. Then she walked over to the couch and sat next to Ellie, raising her hand up to clean it off.

"... but I was just too afraid to. So, I didn't know what might happen. But, nothing ever did."

Abby wiped the blood off of Ellie's hand with the alcohol-soaked rag, and then took a clean piece of fabric and wrapped it around it a few times, tying it in a knot under her palm. The wound was only flesh deep, so there wasn't anything more she could do for it. Ellie made a fist and straightened her fingers a few times. Then she turned her head towards Abby and smiled. Abby half-smiled and got up to get rid of the bloody rags.

"It's amazing" Lev said after a minute, "but... what happened? I've never seen either of you lose control of a situation like that."

Ellie moved her eyes towards the door to make sure Abby had left the room.

"Well, people make mistakes. I can promise you that was not the first time I've ever lost control of a situation. And, Abby was out of bullets so... we had to act quickly."

"But you had a gun. Why didn't you just shoot him?"

Ellie thought about that for a second. Why didn't she pull out her own gun? And why did she drop her knife? In retrospect, the fact that she just took off running towards the infected man was probably a stupid thing to have done.

"I don't know," she said, "I guess I just panicked. Abby was in trouble, and I just... panicked."

\-------------------

Lev was asleep on the floor. The packing material and fire blanket were still in the room, so they just put the sleeping bag on top of it. Abby and Ellie were lying on the couch. Abby had fallen asleep, but Ellie couldn't. They were lying on their sides facing each other; Abby's head was turned slightly to the side, against Ellie's chest. Ellie had one arm under Abby's neck, and one over her shoulder, her hand on the back of Abby's head. She rested her chin on top of Abby's head and sighed, starting to play with her hair. 

She couldn't tell which was bothering her more; the fact that she acted so stupidly, or the fact that she scared Abby so badly. Ellie was always able to maintain her cool in dangerous situations. But this time, all she could think of was getting that thing off of Abby. Any semblance of strategy dropped from her brain instantly. If it ever came to it, Ellie was willing to die to save Abby's life. But that kind of recklessness could get them both killed. She had to just tell herself that this was the result of a series of missteps all culminating in a massive screw-up. Still, she did feel bad. She couldn't help but feel a little bit impressed with Lev though. Ellie knew he cared about her, a lot. But he was still ready to shoot her when he thought she was infected. If that ever happened to Abby, Ellie didn't know if she could do it. 

Abby's arm around her waist moved a little bit, and Ellie stopped playing with her hair. She waited a few seconds to see if Abby had woken up. She didn't say anything, so Ellie put her hand back on her head. Abby moved a little bit again and she kissed the front of Ellie's neck. Ellie kissed the top of Abby's head and closed her eyes.


	13. Materialization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while! You know, life..

Nine days after leaving the museum, the three were finally on the last leg of their journey. They did end up taking an almost identical route to the one they took on their way north. However, Abby hadn't found the road map for several days. So the last several miles were dependent on Lev and Abby's memory. They had been in the area for a few weeks by the time they ended up in Santa Barbara, so it wasn't problematic. What was problematic was their proximity to the Rattler's camp. Ellie had told Abby all about how she got into the resort, and what she did to every Rattler she saw along the way. She also told her about the prisoners she freed. So it was likely that, if any Rattlers remained alive following the outbreak, they were likely long gone by now. Abby also had moved the boat away from Santa Barbara after they got out, so it wasn't like they were walking right back into it. But her imprisonment there was, undoubtedly, the worst thing that's ever happened to her; and the thoughts of it made her shudder.

Thankfully, Lev seemed able to bounce back from the experience fairly quickly. While everyone inside was living in horrid conditions and put through miserable situations, Lev avoided a lot of what Abby went through. In the beginning especially, Abby caused the Rattlers a lot of trouble. A mixture of falling just short of her goal, and the anger of being held against her will, led to a kind of rage that lasted several weeks. She attacked them whenever she had the opportunity, broke everything of theirs that she could, and never stopped running her mouth. This resulted in a lot of consequences that, fortunately, Lev didn't have to suffer along with her. It wasn't until her escape attempt that he was punished along with her. There was also a kind of comradery among the prisoners. Kids were given extra food and shielded from certain situations, if they could be. After the first few weeks her rage subsided; and was replaced with complacent defeat. But it was too late. The guards never seemed to get bored with torturing her in particular. It was a nightmare and, fortunately for Abby, one that she didn't often think of; at least, not while she was awake.

When she did think about the resort now, she was able to avoid dwelling on the horrors of being kept their by imagining Ellie breaking in. The place was a fortress; and filled with armed guards and scads of infected throughout. It gave Abby a thrill to think of Ellie getting in and taking out those ass holes one by one. She liked to imagine the deaths of a couple of them in particular. While it was true that the reason Ellie soldiered on was to kill Abby, the facts remained. She walked to California, got caught by the Rattlers, escaped, and then infiltrated their camp, starving, dehydrated, and bleeding from the stomach, and freed all the prisoners. It was the kind of thing Abby thought a book should be written about. Admittedly, she was a little bit biased. But no one had ever done anything like that for her. The fact that she was trying to get to Abby because of anger changed nothing. Hate and love require the same amount of passion; they just lie on opposite ends of the spectrum. To think that someone even hated her that much was a little bit thrilling to Abby. She had always felt a bit like a nobody in the grand scheme of things. She mostly avoided personal relationships, always avoided attracting attention, and was content with being just another Firefly, or just another soldier, or even just a nobody. So it was something of a shock to witness, firsthand, so much thought and effort being directed towards her.

They just made it past the metropolitan area and into the residential area in the late afternoon. There was a bridge between downtown and where the seaside mansions started. It wasn't very high, but it was long. There was a small station at the middle where the bridge tender would raise and lower the the bridge for passing boats underneath. Ellie stepped in and searched through the drawers. They were mostly filled with old file folders and time cards. But she did find an empty coke bottle and a half pair of scissors without the hand guard. She held up the broken half and knocked on the window. Abby looked in and laughed. Ellie put the broken scissor blade in the inner pocket of her jacket and zipped it up. She turned to walk out of the station and bumped her hand against the corner of an open file cabinet drawer. She opened her mouth and turned around, trying not to make a noise. Her hand still hurt, but it was better than it was. After being wrapped up for several days, she insisted that it be left unwrapped today to let it get some air. Abby still didn't like the look of it, but Ellie made such a song and dance about how fine it was that she couldn't let Abby know she hurt it. She just couldn't stand having anything wrapped around her hands. She turned around to see Abby and Lev looking over the bridge into the inlet. She looked down at her hand. It wasn't bleeding, thank God. It was still a little bit bruised, mostly yellow, around the whole back of her hand, with six perfect dark-reddish-purple teeth marks. She exhaled and walked out. 

\------------------

Eventually they made it inside a large gated community filled with expensive-looking houses. They walked to in until they ran into the last road before the last row of houses along the beach. Abby looked at the map and figured out that if they walked a few blocks north, then cut through, they should end up almost right in front of where they had left the boat. The closer they got, the more nervous Abby started to get that the boat might not even be there anymore. She had left gas in it after all. She kept reassuring herself that this part of California was so uninhabited that it was unlikely anyone would have found it out here. 

The houses they walked by were grand, mostly covered in pastel-colored stucco, concrete roof tiles, and blocked off by huge wrought iron gates. Many of the houses had vines crawling up the walls, and the surrounding plant life had become severely overgrown to the point that the sidewalks were almost entirely covered in weeds. But even with all that, the area was an impressive one. Ellie and Lev were walking behind Abby, looking around at the mansions and speculating about the kinds of people who used to live in them, the kinds of parties they might have had, and the lives they might have led.

"I bet this one," Ellie said, pointing at a three story house on their left, "was a senator."

"What's a senator?" Lev asked.

"Like a leader. Somebody in charge of writing laws and shit, I don't know really. Anyways, I bet they had the fanciest Christmas parties anyone had ever been to. Lights everywhere, foot-long cigars, and like... three bikes for each of his spoiled kids."

Lev laughed. "Yeah, and probably.."

He and Ellie ran into Abby, who had stopped short in front of them with her arms out. Abby squatted down, so Ellie and Lev squatted down behind her. Ellie looked over her shoulder to see what she was looking at. Down the street, two men walked out of one of the houses. Abby turned around to look at them and nodded her head to the right. The three crouched low and walked into the yard of the house they were next to. Hiding behind a chest-high concrete fence, they all peeked over the top. 

The two men were walking down the street in the opposite direction of them now, looking all around them as they went. One was tall, at least 6 ft, with short brown hair. The other was a bit shorter, and bald. They wore grey cargo pants tucked into black combat boots, and green Kevlar vests, and each had a rifle on their shoulders. The three stayed behind the wall until the men walked out of sight. Abby let out a sigh and turned around.

"Who were they?" Lev asked.

Abby and Ellie looked at each other. Ellie shrugged and Abby shook her head.

"I don't know," Abby said, "but I don't want to find out. Let's just cut through to the beach here. We'll have to walk up the coast a little bit, but I'd rather be on the other side of those guys."

"Okay" Ellie and Lev said at the same time.

They got up and walked slowly back out into the street, looking down to the end one more time to make sure the two men were out of sight. Quickly they crossed the street and walked into the house opposite. Thankfully, there weren't any infected inside. Ordinarily they might have looked around the house for anything they could take, but now didn't seem like a good time. So they walked through the house and out onto a back deck. The deck was a big square looking out onto the beach, with a set of steps that went right down to the sand. They descended the stairs and started walking north up the beach. After seeing the two armed men, nobody really said anything. It seemed everyone was suddenly a little bit on edge. So they walked a little less than a quarter mile in silence, with just the sound of the waves. 

Eventually , just as the sun was beginning to set, they saw the boat in the distance. They all looked at each other and smiled, then picked up the pace and started walking faster towards it. It was still anchored, swaying in the waves, just where they left it. Barring the idea that someone might have siphoned the gas out of it, they were as good as gone. Abby thought she had never been so happy to see something before. The closer they got to it the greater the swell of relief was that crashed over her. They had been walking almost the entire day today, and were all exhausted. But she thought, as soon as they got on board she would start driving. She didn't care where as long as it wasn't here. She would just drive up the coast until they ran out of gas. They could always find more later. 

The overall sense of happiness among the three climbed and climbed as they got closer and closer, until they were almost right in front of the boat. Then, in an instant, Abby's heart dropped into her stomach and the three stopped walking. There was a small motor boat behind their boat, anchored by a rope tied to a rock. They stood completely still for a few seconds looking around. There was no one in the boat, and no one nearby. Abby took a breath and took a few steps around their boat to look inside the motor boat. There wasn't much in it except some rope, an extra canister of gas, and a duffel bag. Abby took the gas canister out and set it down. She was about to look through the duffel bag when two men walked out of their boat and onto the deck. She jerked around to look at them. It wasn't the same men they saw earlier, but they were dressed the same as them. Abby started walking back towards Ellie and Lev but the men jumped down in front of her. 

"You wouldn't be Abby, would you?" one of them asked, while the other looked her over.

Abby looked at Ellie, then back at the men and shook her head.

"This your boat?" 

Abby swallowed. If she said no, they would have to leave the boat on foot; something she didn't have any interest in doing now. 

"Yeah, it is" she tried to sound as confident as she could.

The man took a step towards her and reached in his pocket. Abby put her hand behind her on her pistol.

"Huh..." he said, and pulled two small chains out of his pocket, "Cause, we were looking for an Abby. We figured this might be where she ended up."

He held out she and Owen's Firefly dog tags. Abby looked at them, then she looked past them at the man's chest. The patch on the left breast of his bullet proof vest was the Firefly logo. Abby unclipped her holster behind her. She didn't know what to say. She looked past them at Ellie who was starting to walk closer to them. She caught her eye and shook her head a little bit. The man turned around, and Ellie stopped.

"You Abby?"

Ellie saw the patch on his vest, then the others' when he turned around.

"No."

The silent man nudged the other's shoulder

"Look" he said.

They both looked at Ellie's hand, and she put it behind her. 

"You been bit?"

"No," Ellie said again, now feeling a combination of fear and anger, "Look, this is our boat. So we're going to get on it and leave."

The two men looked at each other, then took their rifles off their shoulders.

"Can't let you do that" the taller man said, "If you've been infected we can't let you leave."

Abby pulled her pistol out, pointed it at the back of the quiet one's head, and cocked it.

"No," she said, "we're leaving."

The two men stood still. Ellie pulled out her own pistol and pointed it at the other one. 

"Wait, look at it," One of them said, nodding at Ellie's hand, "It's healed."

The other looked at it, then looked at Ellie's face, scrutinizing it. Then his eyes got wide, and he looked past Ellie, and he nodded. Lev screamed. Without lowering her gun Ellie turned around to see one of the men they saw earlier holding onto Lev from behind. She aimed her gun at him and then a loud shot rang out along the beach. Ellie had been shot in the leg and fell to the ground.

"No!" Abby screamed. She pulled the trigger, shooting the quiet man in the head. He fell to the ground. Abby turned towards the other man, but in the blink of an eye, he grabbed her wrist and twisted it behind her back. Her gun fell, and the man put his other arm over her chest. Abby fought him with everything she had. Eventually she got her arm high enough to push his in front of her face. She bit his arm as hard as she could. He yelled and let up his grip on her enough for her to turn around. She kneed him in the crotch and he fell to the ground. She turned around and the bald man, presumably the one who shot Ellie, came running towards her. Before she could react he swung a baton and hit her in the face. Abby fell down. She saw Ellie on the ground in front of her holding onto her leg and writhing. Beyond her, Lev was also lying on the ground behind the brunette Firefly, who was now walking towards Ellie. Abby coughed and tried to lift herself up onto her elbows. But as soon as she did, the bald man kicked her in the head, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!


	14. Contextualization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought I better just add a warning here. This chapter is a bit violent. I assume if you've played the game you're okay with that, but I felt like, since the rest of my story hasn't been violent, I should. Idk.. 
> 
> Now let's get some!

_Abby turned the handle on the door in front of her, and stepped into the familiar hallway. She saw the familiar flashing red lights, and heard the familiar alarm. Her head ached and her arms felt heavy as she reached down for her pistol. Pulling it out of her thigh holster she shook her head and started running as fast as she could down the hall. Something about this time felt different. She had to get out of here; now. She sprinted to the end of the hall and reached for the door handle, but found that the door in front of her had no handle. Now panicking, she holstered her gun and ran both hands over the door from top to bottom. It was nothing but flat wood. The alarm was getting louder and louder, and her sense of unease grew. For a moment she stepped back from the door, closed her eyes and put her hands over her ears; to try and think. Then, she heard a sound coming from the other side of the door. She slowly lowered her hands and put her ear up against the door._

_"Abby! ... Abby!"_

_Someone was calling her from the next room. The cry started out faint, but kept getting louder and louder every time she heard it. She stood back from the door again and took a few deep breaths. The alarm was pounding in her head, and she was becoming more afraid, and more aggravated with each passing second. Then, in one swift motion, she raised her knee and kicked the door as hard as she could. The door flew open, and one of the rusted hinges broke off, leaving it hanging on at an odd angle in the frame. She stared at it for a second, not completely believing she had been able to do that. Then, the voice came again._

_"Abby! Come on, Abby!"_

_She shook her head again and ran into the next room. Thankfully, the second door handle was intact. She turned it and walked into the operating room; relieved to see that it was still the operating room. There she found Ellie again. She was standing in the middle of the room with her back towards Abby. Abby stepped closer and still she didn't move. When she was close enough, Abby reached her arm out and put her shaking hand on Ellie's shoulder. Ellie turned around and looked at her with the same puzzled face she had last time Abby saw her here. They stared at each other for a second before Ellie opened her mouth._

_"Abby, come on!" she shouted._

_Only it wasn't her voice that was coming out of her mouth. It was someone else's. Abby pulled her hand away, and suddenly everything started to get hazy. Abby was having trouble making out the room clearly now, and her surroundings started to dim. Still Ellie stood un-moving, until everything went black._

\---------------

"Abby!" Lev shouted, slapping Abby's face and shaking her shoulder, "Abby, come on, get up!"

Abby opened her eyes, but everything was a bit blurry.

"Oh my god" Lev sighed, exhausted, resting his hands on her shoulders and putting his head on her chest.

Abby was lying on her back in the sand, Lev on his knees beside her, his upper body now resting perpendicular on top of hers. Abby's vision was coming back to her, but the sun was still out, and starting to set on the beach. Her current condition coupled with the sun reflecting low off of the water made it hard to see anything at first. She looked down at Lev's head, which was bleeding behind his ear. She looked over to see that their boat was still where they left it. There was no one else on the beach with them. Abby put her hand on the top of Lev's head. He raised himself back up and helped Abby to sit up. As soon as she was upright, Abby's head started pounding. She reached out with her hand and touched the side of Lev's head, but he shook her off. 

"I'm fine," he said, "I think one of them threw me into a tree..." he trailed off.

That's when Abby remembered everything that had happened.

"Ellie..." she said.

Lev looked down, then back up at her, shaking his head.

"Fuck!" Abby screamed at the top of her lungs.

She knew this was going to happen. She knew it, and she did everything she could to prevent it. But she had failed. Any sense of loyalty she had left for the Fireflies was gone; right now all she felt towards them was anger. She had to get Ellie back, and those ass holes wouldn't know what hit them when she did. Abby felt something that she hadn't felt in years; hatred, and the grip of desire for vengeance that came along with it. Her nostrils flared as her breaths became shorter. Her jaw set and she closed her eyes for a minute. She had to calm down. She had to figure out a plan, and she wouldn't be able to do that by continuing to sit in the sand and hyperventilate. She tried to take deeper breaths through her mouth. She opened her eyes and saw Lev looking at her.

"How long have we been here?" she asked.

"I don't know, really. I woke up maybe 10 minutes ago. That's when I came to wake you up."

Abby looked around. The sun hadn't completely set yet, and she could tell from licking her lips that it hadn't been 24 hours. They must have only been out for a couple of hours. She couldn't quite believe that their boat was still sitting anchored. Either the Fireflies wanted to leave in a hurry, or they actually believed her when she said she wasn't Abby. If they had thought the three of them really did just steal this boat, they would have no reason to think Abby would be able to find them. But she could. Catalina Island, Avalon, domed building. She remembered. 

\----------------

Ellie came to and the first thing she noticed was how badly her neck hurt. She squeezed her eyes together tighter and raised her head, which had been slumped forwards. She went to put her hands on it, but only one moved. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in some kind of medical facility, sitting on the floor, with one hand cuffed to a desk that was bolted to the floor. 

"Oh shit" she said quietly.

She tried to bend her legs to stand up and let out a yelp, quickly biting her lip to keep quiet. That's when she remembered she had been shot. Gritting her teeth, she looked at her leg. Her jeans had been cut off at the knee, and her calf was wrapped up like someone had treated it; treated poorly, but treated nonetheless.

"What the fuck?" she said.

Ellie didn't remember getting knocked out, and her head didn't feel like she had been. She supposed at some point she must have simply passed out. She remembered Lev screaming, turning around, being shot, Abby screaming, and then.... and then what? She couldn't remember what happened after that. She looked around the room. The fluorescent lights were dim and blue, adding an even more uncomfortable feeling to the already uncomfortable blue room. There was metal desk behind her back, a metal operating table in front of her, and a filing cabinet up against the back wall. There were a few boxes and duffle bags along the edges of the walls. Abby and Lev weren't here though. She didn't know what happened to them. Maybe they were here somewhere being held as well. Maybe they had been killed on the beach. She didn't know. All she knew was that she felt immediately furious, and she had to get out of here. But she didn't know if she could walk. 

She remembered the broken scissors in her jacket pocket, and patted herself down. For whatever reason, they hadn't checked there; or hadn't found it. Cringing, she sat up straighter against the desk and reached her free hand into her jacket, pulling out the half scissors. Bringing the tip to the handcuff, she began trying to pick the lock. After a minute or two it started to seem like she wasn't going to get anywhere when suddenly, click. She hadn't exactly unlocked them. But she had shifted the pins enough that the cuffs loosened a little as she pulled on them. It was a tight squeeze, but she managed to get her hand out. She rubbed her wrist for a few seconds, then tried to get on her hands and knees. The pain in her leg was excruciating. It was all she could do to not scream as she shifted. She couldn't lean on that leg, but she managed to get onto her left knee, with her right leg just sort of trailing behind her. She tried crawling towards the door, moving in short distances by pulling herself forwards with her hands, then resting on her left knee. Every movement was agony, but she was almost to the door. 

Just then the door swung open and a tall man entered the room. Shit! Ellie thought. 

"I thought I heard something in here" the man said, gesturing down the hall and then entering the room.

A second man came in behind him. Ellie swung the broken scissors at the second man's leg. She managed to stab him, but the scissors were old and dull, and she didn't know if it even broke skin. 

"Bitch!" he said, and kicked Ellie in the stomach. 

She dropped the scissors and collapsed onto the floor. The two men picked her up under her arms and set her back down against the desk. Ellie yelled when they dropped her on the floor. She couldn't remember her leg, or any part of her body, ever hurting so much as this. The second man picked up the broken scissors and walked back over to where the handcuffs where still attached to the desk. He bent down, unlocked the handcuffs and picked them up showing them and the scissors to the other man. He raised his eyebrows at him and set them down on the operating table.

The first man who had come in stood over her now. He was a tall, blonde man with a buzz cut. He wore the same outfit the men on the beach did. He regarded Ellie for a few seconds. She looked up at him and grimaced. She was furious, but almost powerless to do anything about it. She didn't have her belongings, and she could barely move. The man reached into his back pocket and nodded at the other man. The second man walked over behind the desk and grabbed Ellie's arms. She fought him as hard as she could, managing to elbow him in the face once. In response he jerked her arms down so hard that she thought one might have just been dislocated. He eventually got both of her hands behind her back again, and the first man knelt down in front of Ellie with a long zip tie in his hands. Reaching around her, with his face right in front of hers, he proceeded to zip tie her hands together behind her, around the leg of the desk. Ellie had turned her face to the side to look away from him, but then he spoke.

"See, Todd? This is what we get for trying to make her comfortable."

Ellie turned her head and spit in the man's face. He looked at her and wiped his face off. The two men stood up, and the first half-turned away from Ellie, before turning back around and slapping her in the face with the back of his hand. Ellie's head hit the desk, but she bit her lip and didn't cry out. Todd walked out of the room carrying the scissors and handcuffs, and the first man went to follow him out. 

"What do you want from me?" Ellie yelled at him.

He stopped and turned around.

"If you're gonna cut my head open, just do it already!" 

He looked down the hallway, then closed the door behind him and walked over to Ellie again. 

"Why would we want to cut your head open?" he asked

Ellie felt exasperated. 

"You're the Fireflies right? Isn't that what you want? You want to make a vaccine right? So why don't you just do it? Why am I still here?" Ellie spat out angrily.

The look on the man's face changed a little then. 

"There is no vaccine," he said calmly.

Ellie felt confused. She didn't say anything, she just stared at him. He continued after a second,

"The only chance we had at a vaccine died when you and your friend decided to shoot up the Salt Lake Outpost."

Ellie's face flushed hot at that. If he only knew...

"That was quite the stunt," he continued, in a more stern tone of voice, "After that, the Fireflies suffered terrible losses. Outposts broke up, morale dropped, and we were all but obliterated. All because of you."

Ellie couldn't believe this was happening. The man squatted in front of her and rested his arms on his thighs, looking her right in the eyes. She looked down and saw his Firefly dog tags around his neck; "Alexander". Then she looked back up at his face.

"No, little girl," he said, "I'm not here to get a piece of your brain. I'm here to make sure you're punished for what you did to us."

Ellie wanted to scream. But she couldn't find the words. It was almost as if she had entered into a state of shock. She didn't know if Abby or Lev were alive or dead, and here she was, tied to a desk in some Firefly facility, about to suffer through who-knows-what, because of a crime committed by a dead man; a dead man that she hated for a long time for committing this crime. She didn't know whether she was more angry or sad now. She looked at the floor before the tears welling up could fill her eyes, and Alexander stood up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Ellie's eyes darted from one spot on the floor to the next. She couldn't find the ability to focus on any one thing, and the grip of panic was beginning to take over. Just then, she managed to find just enough power to call out.

"Hey!" she screamed.

After a few seconds the door opened and Alexander stood in the door frame, looking impatiently at her.

"My friends..." she said, quieter.

Alexander took a breath and then stepped into the room. He walked around the operating table and stood in right in front of Ellie. She didn't want to look up at him, so she kept her eyes forward and said, still quieter,

"... are they okay?"

Alexander squatted down in front of her again and took Ellie's chin in his hand. She shook her head away from him, so he grabbed it tighter and held it against the side of the desk, lowering his face until it was right in front of Ellie's. Then he said, in a calm, but rough voice,

"Your filthy little friends got what they deserved."

Then he shoved her head away, stood up and slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Ellie was in a rage now. She felt like she had just been stabbed in the center of her chest. She started hyperventilating. Everything felt hot. She tried as hard as she could to pull her hands apart behind her back, but the zip tie just cut deeper and deeper into her skin. She thrashed around against the desk for a minute or two before exhaling deeply and sitting still again. She couldn't stop herself from crying now. She banged the back of her head against the side of the desk a few times before screaming as loud as she could,

"I'll fucking kill all of you!"

But no one came back into the room.

\----------------

Abby and Lev walked into the boat's cabin and looked around. Their stuff was left in a bit of a mess, but otherwise it didn't look like anything significant had been taken; aside from Abby and Owen's tags. But right now, she thought, she never wanted to see them again anyways. Neither of them was looking for anything in particular. It was only that they hadn't seen the boat in a long time, and were both feeling a little bit lost at the moment. After looking around for a few minutes, They both just stood there. Abby was standing in front of the bed, looking at the back of the boat. Lev was at the bench. After a few seconds he turned towards Abby.

"What are we going to do?" he asked.

Abby licked her lips and bit the bottom one for a few seconds, then turned around to face him.

"We're gonna go get Ellie back," she said flatly.

"How?" 

"Those men were Fireflies. My guess is they put her on their boat and went back to Catalina Island. We're going to go there, and we're going to find her."

Lev was confused, but he didn't want to press the issue now. He just nodded. Abby walked over to cabinets and looked inside. There were a few boxes of ammunition left inside, and they both still had their backpacks. The man on the radio had said there were 200 of them there. She hoped she wouldn't have to deal with all of them. But she was willing to, if that's what it took. With one more deep breath, she walked outside and pulled up the anchor. The boat started drifting a little bit. Lev went into Abby's backpack, pulled the keys out, and walked outside. It took a few tries, but the engine eventually turned over, and Abby started driving towards the sunset.

\---------------

Not long after setting off Abby and Lev spotted a huge building in the distance. The sun was going down, and it was difficult to make out exactly what it was. But what was clear was the giant dome atop the building. It sat right on the coast, and if that wasn't the large domed building the man on the radio mentioned, then Abby didn't know what would be. She turned the boat to the right a bit so that they didn't pull up to the coast directly in front of the huge building. By the time they reached land the sun had gone completely down, and it was night. Abby set the anchor down and turned the boat off just in front of the shore. She climbed up onto the front of the boat and hung onto the mast as she strained her eyes to see through the darkness. There were lights just up the coast a few hundred feet or so. It couldn't be the domed building. There must be more of them. Abby had no way of knowing how many people were on this island, where Ellie was, or if she was even still alive. But fear and reservation had left her body. All she could think was that she was going to go through this entire island if she had to to find her. She jumped back down and nodded at Lev to come into the cabin with her. 

"There are some lights up that way" she said pointing with her thumb, "it's not the big building, so that must mean they're spread out. I don't really know what we're walking into..." 

"Nothing we can't handle" Lev said.

Abby looked at him and smiled. He smiled back at her.

"Okay, well... I think we have plenty of ammunition. What we don't have a lot of are arrows. How many do you have left?" 

Lev pulled his backpack over and counted.

"Five" he said, grimly.

"Well," Abby said, "we can make a few more before we leave. But just in case, I want you to carry this."

She handed him a small pistol in a holster. He took it without saying anything and stood up, attaching the clip to his belt and fastening the buckle around his leg. They spent the next half hour or so getting everything that they might need together, and dumping everything they didn't need out of their backpacks. They managed to make four more arrows for Lev with what they had been carrying, but no more. After checking that all of their weapons were loaded and working, they walked out onto the deck of the boat, jumped down into the dark. shallow water, and walked towards the shore.

\----------------

Just past the shore was a small hill leading up to the land, and the lit area. They passed moldy and half-broken wooden beach chairs with the skeletons of old umbrellas hanging off of them. There were knocked over and broken glass and iron tables scattered around. Abby walked through the area and looked around for anything that might come in handy. She picked up a particularly large shard of broken glass, wrapped it in a rag, and put it in her pocket. There was one knocked over wrought iron table that looked much more rusted than the rest. She turned it completely upside down and inspected the four legs. One was rusted enough that she thought she could break it off. She held onto the bottom of the table leg, and raised her own leg to kick it off. It took three kicks, but the leg did eventually break off. Abby inspected it, and slapped it against her hand a few times. It curved a little like a bow, with the foot sticking out, a spherical shape with a flat bottom, at the end. It weighed about 5 or 6 pounds, and it was sturdy. She decided it would work as a melee weapon in a pinch, so she slipped it into the straps of her backpack, and they kept walking.

They walked out of the apparent outdoor lounge area and further inland until they saw a large wooden sign. It was covered in peeling white paint, with "Descanso Beach Club" written in fading blue paint. They were now practically in the shadows of the lights coming from the nearby building. As they got closer and closer to people, Abby started to get a sick, nervous kind of feeling in her stomach. She didn't think the Fireflies would have set up in an otherwise-inhabited location; which meant that, in all likelihood, everyone on this small island was a Firefly. It hadn't really hit her until this moment that she was going to have to kill Fireflies if she wanted to get Ellie out. This feeling was different than fighting her way off of the Seraphite island had been. She never really felt any kind of pride or loyalty towards the WLF. So, while it had hurt to face off against people that she knew, it didn't quite feel like a betrayal; not like this. This feeling was new. Abby couldn't exactly define it. It wasn't quite betrayal, it wasn't quite guilt. She didn't know what she was feeling, really. She just felt... like she was doing something she shouldn't be doing. 

It wasn't that she cared about the Fireflies; she didn't, really. Maybe it was some kind of deeply ingrained sense of duty left over from her childhood. The fact that she had spent four years searching for and killing the man who did, essentially, what she was about to do, was not entirely lost on her either. However, she never regretted what she did to Joel. That was more about her father than anything else. There was, of course, the remorse that came along with cold blooded murder; but not to the point of regret. Still, the thought remained in the back of her mind. But none of it was enough to stop her feet from taking her forwards. Now, no amount of guilt, or fear, or mis-spent childhood loyalty would keep her from getting Ellie back. There were two things left in the entire world that Abby cared about; and the Fireflies took one of them from her. She would get Ellie back no matter what it took; and, if she made it out alive, she would deal with her conscience later.

\-------------

Ellie sat still against the metal desk, half falling asleep, half blacking out. She had kicked and screamed for a long time before she exhausted herself. At one point she had inadvertently bent her right leg without remembering the gunshot, and when the pain shot up her thigh and through her hip, she immediately straightened it again, slamming it against the floor. This resulted in the wound opening back up, and the bandages were now soaked through with blood on the back of her calf. She hadn't been given anything to drink, she was bleeding, heart broken, in pain, and, finally, exhausted. So she sat, slipping in and out of reality. Her head slumped forwards on her chest, her chin resting against a small blood stain on her shirt that formed from the blood dripping slowly out of her mouth. She had moved beyond arguing the point that she had nothing to do with what had happened. Not that she had anyone to argue it to. No one had come back into the room since Alexander left. But since then, she had spent hours furiously arguing her case; sometimes in her own head, sometimes screaming out loud. But at this point, she didn't care anymore. It didn't matter what they did to her now. She thought, if she could only have had a chance at the men from the beach... She would recognize them again instantly, and she would show them exactly what happens to people who hurt the people she loves.

Then she thought of Abby. The last thing she remembered was getting shot, and hearing Abby scream; then nothing. She could still hear it clear as day. The thought made her shift uncomfortably against the desk. She had cried so much in the last couple of hours that she had no tears left in her. But the despair still came in waves. She wished she had never turned her back on those two men. She wished she had shot them both as soon as they stepped out of the boat. She wished they had left the museum house an hour earlier that day. She thought about the day they spent before leaving; going around the museum and getting together everything they needed. If they had just left all that shit behind and started walking that day... 

Ellie hadn't even expected to live through Santa Barbara. What a cruel joke, she thought, that she should live through that, just to end up here. Maybe this was her punishment; for leaving Jackson in the first place, for leaving Dina and JJ, for everyone she had hurt along the way. She thought about how badly she had wanted to kill Abby, and how hard she had tried to; and now she's gone. She was so stupid to have thought she could have had a life with her. Abby was too good for her, she always thought that. She was too good to be true. Ellie was too happy. It was all something she didn't deserve. And now the world had taken it away from her. 

Ellie was jerked out of her semi-conscious thought process by her arms falling apart, making her fall a little bit to the side. She opened her eyes and tried to pick her head up. Her wrists had been separated. She tried to react, but by the time she found the energy her hands were behind her back again. Two men she hadn't seen before had detached her from the desk, and added another zip tie around her wrists behind her back. They abruptly picked her up, one holding each of her arms, and Ellie cried out when she stepped on her bad leg. 

"Come on!" one of the men shouted at her.

"I can't fucking walk!" Ellie shouted back with a cracked voice.

The two men gave each other an irritated look and started dragging her out of the room. Ellie tried as best she could to hop along with them on her left leg. But every time she did it was agony on her right leg. Eventually she just let them carry her, semi-upright, down a long hallway and into another room. This room looked almost identical to the last, except there was no operating table in it. There was another large metal desk, bolted to the floor, and one metal chair in the middle of the room. One of the two ceiling lights was out, creating a painful combination of blue light and shadow that made it hard for Ellie to see anything clearly. They sat her in the chair, her hands still zip tied behind her back, and tied para-chord around her waist and the back of the chair. Then they left the room. Ellie looked around. There were no boxes or duffle bags in this room; just the desk and the chair. Even if she could try to get to something useful, there was nothing here. She struggled against the rope holding her to the chair for a few seconds before Alexander walked into the room.

\------------------

Abby and Lev managed to clear out the Descanso Beach club within minutes. When they first approached, Abby could see that there were only 6 people inside the small restaurant; drunk people. One man was out back pissing against the side of the building. Abby crouched and walked slowly up behind him, grabbing him around the neck and twisting his head until it snapped. There was an empty beer bottle next to the, now dead, man. Abby picked it up and walked over to the open window, motioning for Lev to stay where he was. She threw the bottle onto the ground as hard as she could and it shattered. After a second, a woman came to the window.

"Tim what the fuck?" she said, laughing.

Abby pulled her out of the window and broke her neck, leaving her next to Tim. There were four people left inside, all sitting together around a table. Abby pulled out her pistol and screwed on a silencer. Lev knocked an arrow and walked over so that they stood on opposite sides of the window. Then, at the same time they each aimed into the building. Abby shot one of them in the head, and Lev shot one in the back, leaving them motionless, but still sitting in their chairs. The other two tried to run, but Abby jumped in through the window. She pulled one out from behind a counter and put her arms around his neck. The other tried to grab Abby from behind, but he just fell down behind her when Lev shot him too. Abby pressed her gun against the last one's head, pulled the trigger, and dropped him. Lev got his arrows back, and they carried on towards the domed building. The big building was near the coast, at the bottom of a massive hill. Abby thought it would be a better idea to get higher up the hill and make their way down towards the back of the building. That way, should there be any lookouts, they could take them out first. So they started their ascent.

"I thought there would be more people around" Lev said while they walked.

"Me too" Abby said, "There's probably a lot more in the big building. But if this island is their home base, they're probably scattered all around. We also can't be sure that all 200 stay here all the time... or whether that guy was even telling the truth..."

Lev nodded, and they kept walking. As it turned out, there wasn't anyone stationed on the hill. It was the middle of the night by now, but it still seemed odd to Abby. If nothing else, this was just bad tactics on their part. She thought how easy a place like this would be for the WLF to take if they wanted to. But she didn't let her guard down. She didn't have a regimen with her now. They walked diagonally upwards and towards the building until they were right behind it near the top of the hill. They both knelt down and Abby pulled out a rifle, pointing it at the building and looking through the scope. There were a few pallets stacked with what looked like supply crates out back, as well as a few fires lit inside barrels, surrounded by a handful of people. She raised the scope upwards towards the building itself and tried to see inside the windows. She saw a few people here and there milling around.

"It doesn't look like they have dogs" Abby said, still looking through the scope.

"Good" Lev said, half under his breath.

Then Abby came to one window on the third floor that caught her eye. It was painted blue, and she could make out a metal operating table inside. She looked at the neighboring windows; they also had metal operating tables. It wasn't ridiculous to assume the home base would have a medical setup, but the sight of it sent panic through Abby. She quickly shook it off. Worrying about what might be happening wouldn't get them inside any quicker. She put the gun down.

"Alright, well..." she said, tapping her finger against her knee, "it doesn't look like there's 200 people in that building. But it's hard to tell from here. I think we'll be able to get inside pretty easy. I'm not completely sure what we'll find inside though."

She paused, waiting for Lev to say something. But he didn't. He just nodded and kept looking at her. 

"You don't have to come with me" Abby said after a few seconds.

Lev blinked. 

"Of course I'm coming with you" he said.

"Yeah, but Lev..."

"I love her too," he interrupted. 

Abby was taken aback. She hadn't let herself feel emotional about the situation yet, and it was something of a shock. She looked away from Lev and back down the hill at the building, letting out a deep breath.

"Besides," he said, "I'm not gonna let you go in there alone."

Abby half smiled and grabbed Lev's hand. He squeezed it and smiled back.

"Okay then," Abby said, standing up, "Let's go"

\-------------

When they got to the bottom of the hill it was evident they weren't going to be able to sneak past the group of people outside the back door. Nor were they going to be able to take them out one at a time. Lev drew his bow and Abby aimed her pistol. One by one, in quick succession, they shot down the dozen or so people from the shadows of the foliage. They waited a minute to see if anyone was going to come outside, but no one did. So they walked towards the back doors. Lev was able to recover one arrow, but the rest had broken. Every one of them had been armed. Abby pulled a gun from a holster one of them was wearing and looked at it. It was the cleanest looking pistol she had ever seen; and, affixed to the front of it, was an actual silencer, not a makeshift one. She holstered her pistol, and held onto the new one.

The doors were heavy metal swinging doors without glass. Slowly, Abby pulled one back, holding her new gun up. She quickly stepped inside with the gun pointed forwards and looked around. It was some kind of loading dock, and no one was inside. She motioned her head inside and Lev followed her in. It was a mostly empty room with high, vaulted ceilings. There was one broken down semi truck sitting along the back wall, and a small set of stairs against the opposite wall. They started walking towards the stairs when they heard voices coming towards them. Quickly, they ran towards the semi truck and hid behind it. A man and a woman came into the room and started walking down the stairs. Abby knew if they went outside, they would raise alarm, and she couldn't let that happen. She looked around and found an old car battery on the ground behind them. She picked it up and threw it as hard as she could into the corner behind the semi.

"Huh? What was that?" the man asked.

They both pulled handguns out and started walking towards them. Abby shooed Lev underneath the semi truck and they waited until they could see the two sets of feet. The two Fireflies walked around the truck and stood behind it, right where Abby and Lev had been a moment ago. Then Abby nodded, and they both crawled out from under the front of the truck. They snuck up behind the two. Abby grabbed one by the neck, and Lev threw his bow over the neck of the other, and they both held on until the two collapsed on the ground. Abby looked around and saw an air vent above the truck. Quickly, she ran up the stairs on the opposite end of the room, and bolted the door shut with a 2x4, then ran back. They climbed up onto the top of the truck. Abby bent one leg, and Lev stepped onto her thigh. Abby put her arms around his legs and stood up straight, lifting him high enough to pull the vent open, and pull himself up into it. Then Abby shook her hands out, held her breath, and jumped as high as she could, just barely reaching the bottom of the vent. It creaked when she grabbed onto it, but it held as she pulled herself up.

They crawled until they found another vent above an empty room. When they dropped down into the room they both looked around. It looked like an office.

"Where do you think we should look?" Lev asked.

"Third floor" Abby said.

Lev didn't ask any questions, he just nodded, and they continued to make their way up to the third floor, slowly, and as quietly as possible, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind them as they went. 

\-------------

Alexander closed the door behind him and stepped closer to Ellie. She squinted her eyes and then blinked them open. Then she let out a sigh.

"We have to stop meeting like this, Alex" she said sarcastically, spitting a little blood onto the floor in front of him.

He chuckled.

"Oh so you're a funny person? See, I don't like funny people. Can't help but feel like they're bullshitting me. And I'm not a man to be jerked around."

He put one hand on the back of the chair and punched Ellie in the stomach with the other. She got the wind knocked out of her, and it took several seconds before she could gasp. She didn't say anything, just took deep, difficult breaths. Alexander let go of the back of the chair and walked around behind her.

"See I don't think it's funny to slaughter dozens of helpless people" he said, still circling Ellie, "and I don't think it's funny to rob the world we live in of a surgeon. A surgeon, who may have had the answer to..." he paused for a second, and shrugged, "...all our problems. And I don't think it's funny, that me and mine have been forced to hide out on this fucking island..."

Ellie coughed. There was nothing she could say to this man to get her out of this, and she knew it. Whether she was about to be beaten to death, or just tortured, there's nothing he could do or say to Ellie that could be worse than anything else she had already been through. She didn't know this man. She wasn't conscious in Salt Lake. And the woman she loved was gone, along with Lev, and everything else she had ever cared about.

"Well," Ellie said, straightening a little bit in the chair, "as soon as you're finished whining about things you don't find funny, we can talk about what's really bothering you."

Alexander stopped walking around her and bent over so his face was right in front of Ellie's.

"You've got some mouth on you, don't you?" he said narrowing his eyes.

"Why don't you ask your sister" Ellie said, smiling.

Alexander stood up straight and hit Ellie so hard across the face that she and the chair fell over onto the floor. He raised his hand to hit her again but he stopped when he heard a commotion outside. He looked at Ellie on the floor, still smiling, took a pistol out of his holster and walked towards the door.

\--------------

Abby and Lev had made it thus far by eliminating one person at a time on their way through the hallways of the third floor. But as they exited the previous room, they knocked someone over who had been leaning against the door they just opened. He yelled and Abby quickly stuck the piece of broken glass in his head. But it was too late. The two other men in the hallway started yelling. Lev shot one with his bow, and Abby ran as fast as she could towards the other, throwing him onto the floor. She stomped on his head a few times until he stopped moving. Then she pulled the broken table leg out of her bag, turned to Lev, wide-eyed and said,

"Okay, now we've got to move fast."

They started running down the hallway until they had almost reached the end when a door swung open in front of them. Alexander stepped out of the room with his gun pointed at them. Abby and Lev stopped. Abby started raising her hands slowly, so Lev followed.

"What the fuck is this now?" Alexander asked.

Abby was about to say something to him when she looked into the room he had just come out of. She saw Ellie's foot, not moving. She snapped, and in one instant she looked back at Alexander and swung the wrought iron table leg as hard as she could against the side of his head. He fell down and she hit him two more times in the head before throwing the table leg on the ground. She stepped over him and into the room. Ellie was lying on her side, tied to a chair. There was some blood on the floor next to her face, and her leg. She ran over and knelt down in front of her. Ellie opened her eyes and, for a second, she thought she must be hallucinating. Then Abby put her hands on her face. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds.

"Hey!" Ellie said, feeling the tears start again.

"Hey" Abby said, half laughing and half crying.

Lev ran behind the chair. He got the para-chord untied and cut the zip tie apart, freeing Ellie's hands. Ellie let out a sigh and pushed herself up onto her elbows. Abby leaned down and put her arms around Ellie. Ellie held herself up on one elbow and put the other around Abby.

"I thought you were dead" Ellie said.

"I thought you might be dead too."

Lev walked around in front of Ellie and she stuck her arm out to take his hand. He smiled, but didn't say anything. Abby forced herself to let go of Ellie then. 

"Look, we have to get out of here. I'm pretty sure we cleared out this floor, but I don't know if anyone else would have heard all that."

"I can't walk" Ellie said, pointing at her leg.

Abby looked at her leg, then at the rest of her. She looked at Lev, and then out the door.

"Okay" she said, standing up, "Lev, we can't go back the way we came, so we've gotta go out the back staircase. I need you to go in front of us."

"Okay" he said, pulling his last arrow out and knocking it in his bow. He turned and went out the door, then stood waiting for them.

Abby squatted and put one arm under Ellie's knees, and one under her waist. Ellie put her arms around Abby's neck, and Abby stood up. She carried Ellie through the empty hallway and to the stairs. They came across only one person in the stairwell on their way down, and Lev shot him before he ever even saw them. When they made it to the bottom Abby had to set Ellie down to break open the doors she had stuck a 2x4 between. She kicked it only once, and the piece of wood broke, allowing the doors to swing open to the loading dock. She bent down and picked Ellie up in her arms again, and carried her out of the building, past all the bodies lying outside, and back to the boat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry this took so long!! LIFE!! So, I've added an epilogue after this to really wrap things up neatly, but I think I'm going to call Mutual over here. I really like ending on Abby carrying Ellie out of the Firefly building. At some point I may do like... the continuing adventures of Abby and Ellie. But that'll be like book 2. Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I never expected this many people to be into this when I started. You're all wonderful! There will be more from me in the future. Also, I've gone back and added some new photoshops to chapters 5, 8 and 9 if anyone wants to check those out. You can also check my Imgur or Deviant Art (s/n is GreenGables89 for both) from time to time if you feel like it. I'm definitely no expert, but I make Abby/Ellie edits in my spare time for fun :) xxx


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Ellie took a long, deep breath and turned her upper body a little. She opened her eyes and saw the inside of the boat's cabin. She was lying on the bed, and the hum of the engine was soft below her. She turned her head and Abby was lying next to her on her side, watching Ellie as she slept. She smiled when Ellie looked at her, and she ran her fingers through Ellie's hair.

"Hey" Abby said, resting her hand on the side of Ellie's face.

"Hey" 

Ellie tried to move her body, but the pain in her leg forced her to stay lying on her back. She looked down. Abby had put her into a clean tee shirt and boxer shorts when they got back to the boat, re-stitched and re-wrapped her leg properly. Abby leaned onto one elbow and rested her head on her hand. She put her other arm over Ellie's stomach and ran her fingers up and down Ellie's arm. Ellie put her hands on Abby's arm.

"Where are we now?" Ellie asked after a minute.

Abby shrugged and nodded outside.

"Ask him."

"You're letting Lev drive the boat?" Ellie couldn't help but laugh a little.

Abby smiled.

"Well, it's not like he can get us lost if we don't know where we're going."

"That's true."

Ellie put her arms around Abby's neck and pulled her head down so it was resting on her chest. She put her hands in Abby's hair, rested her face against her head and sighed. They lay holding onto each other for a long time without saying anything. They would have time to talk about everything that had happened later. But for right now, all they wanted was to stay like this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading!!!! xxxxxxxx


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